Well I tend not to feel much of an ethical dilemma because I usually visualise myself as the victim. Now I’m unsure about this theory of the fantasy being the actual reality I crave because everytime I push the limits of my dominant partner I seem to enjoy the heightened pain even more. For example at Dore Alley Master accidentally hit me with a full fledged crack of our signal whip- probably our most dangerous weapon. I mean really fucking hard, causing immediate bleeding.. In that moment we immediately stopped and he provided strict aftercare. It was intense, but because of where we were I was keen to get back into our demonstration a few minutes later. So He soon added another 50 or so lashes of the normal “BDSM” kind…
The next day, I begged Him to whip me that hard again, and He eventually relented, eventually giving me ten of the very finest and hardest whiplashes I’ve ever received.
Each of the hard cracking lashes cut me, and I still have the scars. Now surely if fantasy is my “real” goal then the hundreds of milder lashes I took in public would satisfy my itch? But no, I wanted harsher. And I’ll do it again!
So I think we are different. For me the masochistic kink I have goes deeper than mere roleplay. I still have a logical brain, so I don’t do dangerous stuff, not about to genuinely snuff myself. Nor mutilation. But I’m pretty extreme, I do things many people will baulk at and I think that’s ok. So long as my dominant is comfortable and is enjoying hurting me, I don’t think there’s anything ethically questionable about my seeking greater pain from their hands. If I’m the only “victim” where’s any ethical dilemma? Especially when my pain usually drives a completely erotic and/or subspace response from me? If I’m getting what I actually want (and need) then where’s the actual harm?
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Similarly when I view our type of erotic artwork, so long as I can identify with the victim I tend to derive great pleasure from it. For me, it is identifying as the victim that gives me pleasure. It makes no difference at all if they are depicted as male or female. Or indeed as furry! And in this context snuff is completely fine! Whatever, it’s the idea of suffering that turns me in, if I imagine it’s me suffering in that image or story, I enjoy it immensely.
I dunno if that’s ethical? It’s definitely empathy. Does empathy still count as a virtue if I’m getting off on the suffering of the object of my intense empathy?
Feel free to judge me as harshly as you wish, I’m actually comfortable in my skin. Besides, if you condemn me and tell me as much, I might twist that into my kink programme anyway so your judgement will feed my kink monster!
The next day, I begged Him to whip me that hard again, and He eventually relented, eventually giving me ten of the very finest and hardest whiplashes I’ve ever received.
Each of the hard cracking lashes cut me, and I still have the scars. Now surely if fantasy is my “real” goal then the hundreds of milder lashes I took in public would satisfy my itch? But no, I wanted harsher. And I’ll do it again!
So I think we are different. For me the masochistic kink I have goes deeper than mere roleplay. I still have a logical brain, so I don’t do dangerous stuff, not about to genuinely snuff myself. Nor mutilation. But I’m pretty extreme, I do things many people will baulk at and I think that’s ok. So long as my dominant is comfortable and is enjoying hurting me, I don’t think there’s anything ethically questionable about my seeking greater pain from their hands. If I’m the only “victim” where’s any ethical dilemma? Especially when my pain usually drives a completely erotic and/or subspace response from me? If I’m getting what I actually want (and need) then where’s the actual harm?
——————————
Similarly when I view our type of erotic artwork, so long as I can identify with the victim I tend to derive great pleasure from it. For me, it is identifying as the victim that gives me pleasure. It makes no difference at all if they are depicted as male or female. Or indeed as furry! And in this context snuff is completely fine! Whatever, it’s the idea of suffering that turns me in, if I imagine it’s me suffering in that image or story, I enjoy it immensely.
I dunno if that’s ethical? It’s definitely empathy. Does empathy still count as a virtue if I’m getting off on the suffering of the object of my intense empathy?
Feel free to judge me as harshly as you wish, I’m actually comfortable in my skin. Besides, if you condemn me and tell me as much, I might twist that into my kink programme anyway so your judgement will feed my kink monster!