The sign on the path to the beach did say "Enter the Water at Your Own Risk"...
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Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
- Start date
Ah, dyslexic jokes 
You do realise, OS, that the website you should have been on was daily sex!
Anyway...
Two doctors in the Cruxton Health Centre had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit.
They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her.
She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.
"Why, we just hired her?"
"Well, I think she is dyslexic and does things backwards. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 four hour, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him. I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours and she gave her twelve in one hour."
The doctor had barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
"To see Nurse Nancy, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"
You do realise, OS, that the website you should have been on was daily sex!
Anyway...
Two doctors in the Cruxton Health Centre had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit.
They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her.
She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.
"Why, we just hired her?"
"Well, I think she is dyslexic and does things backwards. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 four hour, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him. I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours and she gave her twelve in one hour."
The doctor had barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
"To see Nurse Nancy, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"
Ted Parry
Governor
Ah, dyslexic jokes
You do realise, OS, that the website you should have been on was daily sex!
Anyway...
Two doctors in the Cruxton Health Centre had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit.
Nice one Wraggles Old Chap ( you're not getting rid of that for a while)
Oldies but goodies are always welcome.
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
Ah, dyslexic jokes
You do realise, OS, that the website you should have been on was daily sex!
Anyway...
Pp can see how dickyfelt it is for you Wragg old man.
But help is at hand. A new society has been formed by our mumblers to help each other in times of excream ices. It is balled Pismronouncers Unanimous, and anyone can ball them up on the smellyphone any time of the day or note, twenty-four flowers a spray, seven stays a creek, and they will come 'round and get drunk with you.
For foreigners, there will be inperpetwitters, who will all speak many sandwiches, such as Swedish, Turkish, Burkish, Jewish, Gibberish and Rubbish. Membranes will be able to attend tight stool, for heaving classes, to learn how to grope with the many complinkities of the daily loaf.
(Not dyslexic of course but still funny today. Apologies to Ronnie Barker but the full monologue is too long to post here)
Terrific, Pp!
Try repeating it out loud, to camera, with a straight face, and then realise what a genius Ronnie was!
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
And it finished with the Siamese Anthem. Brilliant eul.
Pp knows He is far too generous but He will spare you one cane stroke for that
.
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
I remember it from the first (and repeated) time round, but it so repays listening to again, such clever and quite rude meanings for its time.
A little atlas of naughty names
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Giggle ... so much fun!
This one leaves out half of Pennsylvania!!!
I think State College PA (home of Penn State U) is known as Beaver Valley.
M
montycrusto
Guest
"Lord Monty-Boo of Goolie" sounds strangely familiar...
...must just check my family tree...
(thinks for the remainder, that Two Runnies stretch brings back hippy mammaries)
The allusion was to a high-profile figure back in those days
Founder of the National Motor Museum and former chairman of English Heritage
who was involved in a 1950s homosexual scandal:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11834758/Lord-Montagu-of-Beaulieu-obituary.html
Founder of the National Motor Museum and former chairman of English Heritage
who was involved in a 1950s homosexual scandal:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/11834758/Lord-Montagu-of-Beaulieu-obituary.html
A little atlas of naughty names
View attachment 440392View attachment 440391View attachment 440388 View attachment 440389 View attachment 440390
Some of them are accidents of language....
But the Australians have no excuses!
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
Some of Pp's favourites from Down Under areBut the Australians have no excuses!
- Titwobble Lane
- Pisspot Creek
- Windy Saddle
- Mount Mee (pretty general request )
- Mount Meharry (a more specific request )
- Prominent Nob
- Camp Mountain (for the gays)
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
And there is Bullshit Hill, Peculiar Knob, Lovely Bottom and even a place called Sodden Jerk in the south west of Western Australia.
Here is a small section of the south east of South Australia with so many marked and a few highlighted including Cock Wash, Burnt Pussy Mine and Backstairs Passage between the mainland and Kangaroo Island. Then you might find Shag Point, Horny Point and Groper Grotto over on Ayre Peninsula and you could visit them by landing at White Breasted Airport.
Here is a small section of the south east of South Australia with so many marked and a few highlighted including Cock Wash, Burnt Pussy Mine and Backstairs Passage between the mainland and Kangaroo Island. Then you might find Shag Point, Horny Point and Groper Grotto over on Ayre Peninsula and you could visit them by landing at White Breasted Airport.