captivecuties
Senator
Perhaps not the biscuit but the salmon mousse?
-
Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.
Cruxton Abbey
- Thread starter Wragg
- Start date
I say, if you could, old bean, I would be most awfully obliged!
It would save an awful lot of awkward questions in the House of Lords!
I see this summary of a lecture given at Liverpool University last Christmas:
Over several years, Professor Peter Myers has developed his theory to explain the existence of Santa and how he can deliver all the presents and eat and drink all the food that is left for him in the 24-hour period of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Like all good theories this has changed from the original wave theory to a particle theory as new data has been collected and certain assumptions proven to be incorrect.
Over lockdown and the last year, Peter has obtained new data from the new Turkey anti-Turkey accelerator. These results point to an entangled Santa particle. This entangled particle will be used in this year’s lecture to further clarify Santa’s existence and what some people believe to be his very strange behaviour.
Over several years, Professor Peter Myers has developed his theory to explain the existence of Santa and how he can deliver all the presents and eat and drink all the food that is left for him in the 24-hour period of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Like all good theories this has changed from the original wave theory to a particle theory as new data has been collected and certain assumptions proven to be incorrect.
Over lockdown and the last year, Peter has obtained new data from the new Turkey anti-Turkey accelerator. These results point to an entangled Santa particle. This entangled particle will be used in this year’s lecture to further clarify Santa’s existence and what some people believe to be his very strange behaviour.
"It has come to our attention that, due to an unfortunate event, Father Christmas may not be visiting millions of British children, and indeed children all over the world this year. I wonder if my Lord of Cruxton would like to shed light on this situation, beyond the incomprehensible things he has already said vaguely about serving girls and broken bottles of claret?"I say, if you could, old bean, I would be most awfully obliged!
It would save an awful lot of awkward questions in the House of Lords!
Lord Wragg: "My lords, it is with some satisfaction that I can tell you that the situation is well in hand and Father Christmas, or Santa Clause, as he is known in the former colonies, will once again be winging his way across the skies. I would note that, due to the remedies required for Mr. Clause's recovery, he will need to be accompanied by, er, care-providers, who will provide, er, care, I daresay, but I would note that it is imperative, especially in these circumstances that parents emphasize that no person under the age of 18 should wait up to actually see Father Christmas. I know this House will be as pleased as I am by this outcome."
Other Lord: "Lord Wragg does seem to have a way of answering questions in a way that simply raises more questions, for which we likely don't want him to spell out the answers."
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
It seems to me, this is a question raised by someone with a somewhat bad conscience, concerning the matter!And what may I ask is the punishment for killing off Santa?
Lord W was admiring the Cruxton Abbey new year fireworks with three of his favourite maids. For some reason he seemed to be in an unusually good mood.
"Happy New Year, Alice! Happy New Year, Katty! Happy New Year, Barb!" he chortled. "Tomorrow is New Year's Day, and you may all take an extra day's holiday!"
Alice and Katty forgot the fireworks, turned, and gazed at him in shock. Only Barb didn't seem surprised.
But then, only Barb knew what she'd put in his drink....
Happy New Year 2024 from Cruxton Abbey!
"Happy New Year, Alice! Happy New Year, Katty! Happy New Year, Barb!" he chortled. "Tomorrow is New Year's Day, and you may all take an extra day's holiday!"
Alice and Katty forgot the fireworks, turned, and gazed at him in shock. Only Barb didn't seem surprised.
But then, only Barb knew what she'd put in his drink....
Happy New Year 2024 from Cruxton Abbey!
May your year be great, Archbishop Wragg!!!
But she suddenly had a worrying thought … did she accidentally put in a double dose???
Oh well. HAPPY NEW YEAR, Cruxors!
As long as those are really fireworks, and not the result of someone leaving a burning lamp in the wine cellar. But really, that wouldn't happen, would it?
Happy New Year!
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
You now know what to do with Tree's Seagrams!But she suddenly had a worrying thought … did she accidentally put in a double dose???
Happy New year!
bobinder
ARTISAN
The Red Room at Cruxton Abbey
In the Red Room at Cruxton Abbey, Lady Wragg is trying to decide which gown to wear to the New Year's Eve Ball. Alice and Courtney have agreed to spend the afternoon modelling her extensive collection of ballgowns, to assist her in making a decision. For some reason, they find fashion modelling highly amusing - but they will be attending to the guests tonight, and Lady Wragg insists that they must wear maids' uniforms to serve the canapes!
Happy New Year, everyone! 
(Image hosted on DeviantArt Sta.sh. Full size picture - https://sta.sh/0ufutivzb94 )
That's a nice painting above the girls there too.The Red Room at Cruxton Abbey
In the Red Room at Cruxton Abbey, Lady Wragg is trying to decide which gown to wear to the New Year's Eve Ball. Alice and Courtney have agreed to spend the afternoon modelling her extensive collection of ballgowns, to assist her in making a decision. For some reason, they find fashion modelling highly amusing - but they will be attending to the guests tonight, and Lady Wragg insists that they must wear maids' uniforms to serve the canapes!
(Image hosted on DeviantArt Sta.sh. Full size picture - https://sta.sh/0ufutivzb94 )
Happy new year, Bob.
'Er Ladyship is looking somewhat... pensive.The Red Room at Cruxton Abbey
In the Red Room at Cruxton Abbey, Lady Wragg is trying to decide which gown to wear to the New Year's Eve Ball. Alice and Courtney have agreed to spend the afternoon modelling her extensive collection of ballgowns, to assist her in making a decision. For some reason, they find fashion modelling highly amusing - but they will be attending to the guests tonight, and Lady Wragg insists that they must wear maids' uniforms to serve the canapes!
(Image hosted on DeviantArt Sta.sh. Full size picture - https://sta.sh/0ufutivzb94 )
What is in the darkness of her mind?
Still, look on the bright side - that makes a change from expensive
I think all that red velvety wall covering everywhere one looks is getting to ‘er Ladyship So hopelessly out of fashion! She’s probably contemplating a redo that will cost Lord Wragg a small fortune, Might even require making do with a smaller service staff. Perish the thought!!! What will he do with fewer service girls to ……., (censored)
Not like you to be bashful, Barb!
She can redecorate, rebuild, or replenish her wardrobe, but she's not touching MY serving girls!
(See, @bobinder? You produce these fabulous pictures and away go our imaginations!
)
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Lord Wragg's service staff is supposed to be capable to handle a painting roller. They can do the job naked, and hence not dirty their service staff uniforms with paint spots!
You see? So often the solution is right there in the construction of the problem, if only you look and see it. Well done, Lox!Lord Wragg's service staff is supposed to be capable to handle a painting roller. They can do the job naked, and hence not dirty their service staff uniforms with paint spots!
bobinder
ARTISAN
The Winter Garden at Cruxton Abbey
The Winter Garden at Cruxton Abbey is not confined to the conservatory, and it extends into a wild wilderness. This is where we find Lily, hard at work on New Year's Day, trying to identify the numerous plants and their pruning requirements.
E-DigitalFantasy
Tribune
Beautiful Bob! I can just imagine all the work she has to do at Cruxton!The Winter Garden at Cruxton Abbey
The Winter Garden at Cruxton Abbey is not confined to the conservatory, and it extends into a wild wilderness. This is where we find Lily, hard at work on New Year's Day, trying to identify the numerous plants and their pruning requirements.
