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Comedy Corner
- Thread starter ERIN the Brave
- Start date
Miras
Governor
Obviously, they are jelous and technically right. Because of common ancestor model, they are not our ancestors but our mentaly deficient cousins and we are very ashamed of them.
wulf
God-Emperor
In Pet Heaven.............
A German Shepherd, a Doberman and a Cat sadly passed away and stood before the throne of God to gain acceptance into Heaven.
God turned to the German Shepherd and asked, "What qualities do you have that entitle you to a place in Heaven"?
The Shepherd replied, "I am loyal and faithful and obey my master".
God replied, "Good, you shall stand on the right side of my throne".
God then turned to the Doberman and asked, "What qualities do you have that entitle you to a place in Heaven"?
The Doberman replied, " I am strong and fast and I protect my master".
God replied, "Good, you shall stand on the left side of my throne".
God then turned to the Cat and asked the same question, to which the cat replied...
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"You're in my chair".
A German Shepherd, a Doberman and a Cat sadly passed away and stood before the throne of God to gain acceptance into Heaven.
God turned to the German Shepherd and asked, "What qualities do you have that entitle you to a place in Heaven"?
The Shepherd replied, "I am loyal and faithful and obey my master".
God replied, "Good, you shall stand on the right side of my throne".
God then turned to the Doberman and asked, "What qualities do you have that entitle you to a place in Heaven"?
The Doberman replied, " I am strong and fast and I protect my master".
God replied, "Good, you shall stand on the left side of my throne".
God then turned to the Cat and asked the same question, to which the cat replied...
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"You're in my chair".
Miras
Governor
Incindintally I heard the variant of this joke where role of the cat is given to our former president Vaclav Klaus who is famous for his narcissistic behaviour.
Miras
Governor
I thnik there should be a little spot for the famous Klemen Slakonja´s videos, parodying world leaders, no matter how old they are, so I´m posting the three best examples. Sadly, the first one sounds kinda unfortunately these days, but what the hell, it´s still funny:
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Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
If you can do miracles, it's cheating! At the end, Judas got tired of that!
captivecuties
Senator
Ouch!
captivecuties
Senator
Jesus was wandering the desert, when he met an old man.
"What brings you to the desert?" asked Jesus."I'm looking for my son. I lost him many years ago."
"How did you lose him? What happened?"
"I had one son- not by birth, by a heavenly miracle. He had tremendous struggles with temptation. At one point, he even died, and came back to life!"
Jesus couldn't believe it. Could this really be his father?
"One last question: Are you by any chance a carpenter?"
"I am!"
Jesus rushed forward and embraced the old man.
"Father, it is I! I've missed you!"
The old man smiled.
"I've missed you too, Pinnochio!"
Rias
Neko Girl
But u mean cause Joseph and Geppetto been carpenters? or cause Jesus and Pinokio been puppets used by they fathers? Btw I saw animated old version Pinokio and Pinokio been there catched and crucified then they put fire under cross I dont renember cause I read book in primary school as very young kittie or more mom read me it cause was obligatory book in primary schools here but think in book been same cause read somwhere arent very much books under childrens for sure not those 7-9 years old like childrens here are when must read this books some similar with master and margeritte book but luckily is here in first secondary school class when ppl are old teens already and understand it more but also for example "Dziady" book written by Adam Mickiewicz who childrens read here in primary school as obligatory book even philosophers still quarreling what author mean in one part of book.
Naraku
Draconarius
I never read the book but I do know that, like with most of their films, Disney sanitized and bowdlerized the original material. In looking at a summery of Collodi's original, I don't see a mention of Pinocchio being crucified, but he does get hanged by the Cat and the Fox:
"A tempestuous northerly wind began to blow and roar angrily, and it beat the poor puppet from side to side, making him swing violently, like the clatter of a bell ringing for a wedding. And the swinging gave him atrocious spasms...His breath failed him and he could say no more. He shut his eyes, opened his mouth, stretched his legs, gave a long shudder, and hung stiff and insensible."
Good, wholesome children's fair, circa 1883.
I was walking alone in the forest and a tree fell right in front of me...and I didn't hear it.