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Crisis at Cruxton Abbey

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Migoz2 said:
On Monday morning the Minister for Culture, Media and Sport receives a report from Ms Prudely, proposing that the events at Cruxton Abbey be used as a template for a new charity organisation that could be rolled out across heritage sites and stately homes across the UK. She suggests calling it the National Crux.
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Ms Prudely is in line for a major civil service job in the Ministry. Not sure what the job title will be, but the P.M., the Home Secretary, the Director General of Mi5 and the Chief of the Defense Staff are all interested in the "new charity organisation." :devil::p
 
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There is a House in Cruxton Town

(sung ever so mournfully)



There is a House in old Cruxton town, they call the A-a-b-b-b-e-y

And it’s been the ruin of many a poor girl, I tell you so sadly



My mother was a drunken whore; from her I got my drinkin’ genes

My father was a rebel, Lord, and you all know what that means



Now the only thing I ever need ….is chilled Riesling in a glass

And OOPS there goes another vase; now they’ll whip my tight wee ass



Yeah, I’ll be soon be on that double poster, stripped naked, spread out, and fearful

And Lord Wragg will enjoy the pleasure derived from rendering me subdued and tearful



Oh, Lord, tell my sister staffers not to do what I have done

Shun the wine, and don’t break a thing; that’s half the battle won



And now, a long night in the dungeon, is what’s awaiting me

The rack, the stocks, a ball and chain, who knows what it shall be



Yes, I'm going to the dungeon keep, my full comeuppance yet to get

But I’ll be back upstairs come dawn’s first light, having paid my daily debt



There is a house in old Cruxton town, they call the A-a-b-b-b-e-y

And it’s been the ruin of many a poor girl, I tell you so sadly


Apologies to Bob Dylan
 
Barbaria1 said:
There is a House in Cruxton Town

(sung ever so mournfully)



There is a House in old Cruxton town, they call the A-a-b-b-b-e-y

And it’s been the ruin of many a poor girl, I tell you so sadly



My mother was a drunken whore; from her I got my drinkin’ genes

My father was a rebel, Lord, and you all know what that means



Now the only thing I ever need ….is chilled Riesling in a glass

And OOPS there goes another vase; now they’ll whip my tight wee ass



Yeah, I’ll be soon be on that double poster, stripped naked, spread out, and fearful

And Lord Wragg will enjoy the pleasure derived from rendering me subdued and tearful



Oh, Lord, tell my sister staffers not to do what I have done

Shun the wine, and don’t break a thing; that’s half the battle won



And now, a long night in the dungeon, is what’s awaiting me

The rack, the stocks, a ball and chain, who knows what it shall be



Yes, I'm going to the dungeon keep, my full comeuppance yet to get

But I’ll be back upstairs come dawn’s first light, having paid my daily debt



There is a house in old Cruxton town, they call the A-a-b-b-b-e-y

And it’s been the ruin of many a poor girl, I tell you so sadly


Apologies to Bob Dylan
Click to expand...
Our Barb is such a fine poetess,
Her skill is obvious, I confess.
But with their raunchy flavour,
These lines will not save her,
She`ll be lashed again, nevertheless.
 
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