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Crucifixion And You: How Did The Idea Start?

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By the way, if I had to refer to the my own crucifixion.

I have a mixed opinion here
If it's supposed to be an erotic play where I'm tied to a cross and my woman partner beats me with a bullwhip, it's probably not for me that erotic stuff don't attract me, although I appreciate those who have the courage to do so.

Historic dramas, are ok i guess, i can imagine myself loyal to end with Spartatus, and die with him on cross
Passion play, same but not Jesus Christ role, because not wanna be foccused as someone very important to main story, and as you know those dying thiefes are not named in bible, Outside those, well yes but with one conddion, i wanna hang on cross wearing loincloith.
Not because I want to hide my embarrassment, but just symbolism of perseverance where my whole body is taken but not my soul.
 
Hello everyone. I am new here, so I am not sure whether this topic has been discussed before.
I would like to ask you when these ideas , about the crucifixion, came to you. During adolescence or in adulthood, because for me very very (extremly) early. When I talk to someone about it, they don't even believe me :). I often asked myself what caused this.
 
cruxfantasy said:
Hello everyone. I am new here, so I am not sure whether this topic has been discussed before.
I would like to ask you when these ideas , about the crucifixion, came to you. During adolescence or in adulthood, because for me very very (extremly) early. When I talk to someone about it, they don't even believe me :). I often asked myself what caused this.
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I've moved your post into an existing thread discussing this very subject.
 
Kathrin said:
Like most people on this forum, I got interested in crucifixions very early.

My parents are interested in history and we often visited famous churches such as the Wieskirche in Steingaden, Ettal Abbey, Cologne Cathedral or Speyer Cathedral.

When we went on vacation, we always visited the churches all around in the vacation area.

I wasn't interested in that when I was young, but when I was supposed to go to First Communion, we rehearsed in a church the hymns to be sung during Communion Mass and we practiced how to position ourselves to receive Communion to go. I was eight years old then.

In this church there was a life-size crucifix, the body of which looked very real. It came over me all of a sudden. I couldn't take my eyes off that crucifix. I was completely fascinated by the half-naked body that was nailed to this big cross and the most unbelievable fantasies arose in my head all by itself.

I really wanted to be in that nailed man's place. I started imagining all sorts of different scenarios.

Sometimes I was crucified in the schoolyard as a punishment, sometimes in front of the town hall on the market square in a medieval fantasy world with kings and dragons. Above all, this fantasy land had done it to me. Again and again I invented the most different scenarios.

Most of the time I was nailed to the cross in front of a large crowd, but I also fantasized about being a victim to some dark forces (dragons threatening the land or demons trying to invade the land from the mountains, etc.) crucified all alone outside the city gates. The sacrifice caused the country to be rid of the threat.

In all my imaginations I have never died. I was always saved beforehand or taken off the cross after a ritual and healed in a temple/church.

I didn't want to die and when I saw pictures of the Way of the Cross in the communion church, I was fascinated by the picture in which Jesus was crucified with the two thiefs. The thiefs were not nailed but tied to the cross.

I liked that very much and I alternately imagined being nailed or tied to a cross.

Before my first communion I used to get bored when my parents visited churches on vacation, but after my first communion I suddenly became very interested when we visited a new church and I always looked at the crucifixes and other depictions of the Crucifixion.

When I hit puberty, the whole thing got an erotic touch. I got aroused by the idea of being crucified. That has remained the case to this day.

As it turns out, many here on the forum felt the same way as I did.
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Hello Kathrin.
I properly read your comment about how the fantasy about your crucifixion started.
I am new on cruxforums, so I did not read all topics :) but I need to say that your beginnings on this fantasy are absolutely the same as of mine.
It started when I was 8 yo by a similar way.

In your fantasy, were you whipped before your crucifixion?

If you wish, reply me to cruxme@proton.me
 
tamarisk94 said:
I think my crucifixion fantasies started when I was a teenager some years ago. I attended a very conservative high school. Its your typical catholic school with crosses seemingly put everywhere. In fact, they were so common that it would be rather strange not to see those small wooden crosses somewhere. Young me always wondered what it would be like to be tied up to one, although I just viewed it with an innocent curiosity at the time.

I think it was during one of the school's foundation week celebrations that I started to associate crucifixions with a sexual undertone. Every year, students set up booths as a way to fundraise for school supplies. One of these booths is called a prison booth.The way the booth works is that someone will announce on the loudspeakers the students who will be imprisoned (for example if they're wearing red clothes, or if they're wearing glasses), and the wardens will try to chase those students down and put them in a makeshift prison cage (not really a cage, just an area enclosed by metal fences) where they were bound together by the waist using plastic ropes. To get out, you have to either pay, escape, or do something that will make you look silly (like make faces, or act like a monkey).

Anyways, one time I was one of the students who was captured. I was of course unwilling to pay "bail" because I'm a cheapskate :p . The cage was nearly full at the time so the wardens decided to let us out but only after parading us prisoners in the schoolyard. Of course teenage me found the whole experience very much erotic, something about being bound with the other prisoners and being publicly humiliated just turned me on. I mentioned earlier that there were crosses everywhere in that school and I started fantasizing about what it would be like to be punished in that way and what it would feel like to hang on a cross. I fantasized about our "parade" actually ending with all of us condemned crucified side-by-side to be gawked and taunted at by the other students.

I went home and started to google for images of erotic crucifixions specifically ones where a lot of people are crucified. On one of my searches i stumbled upon this lovely community and discovered that im not the only one with this niche fantasy. I eventually got into BDSM stuff as a whole and the rest is history

p.s. it's always funny when conservative/religious schools inadvertently shape students to be the opposite of what they intended XD
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I find it amazing how so many of us got into bondage & crucifixion at an early school age.
 
Puritan said:
I wonder how prevalent this kink is in non Christian nations????

Early exposure to imagery etc
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I believe they still do crucifixions in Muslim nations. I bet if I went to one, and walked around in a halter top, short shorts, and left my face and hair uncovered, I would find out real quick.
 
BobbieBound said:
I find it amazing how so many of us got into bondage & crucifixion at an early school age.
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Hi BobbieBound. I agree.
For me, these ideas and fantasies started really early, I even have memories even earlier, but they are just fragments, continuous ideas started at the age of 8-9. It is also related to the fact that my sexuality started to develop quite early. I come from a naturist family and we have been going to nudist beaches (which are very common in my country) since my childhood. I used to see my parents naked as a child, but also other adults, and it got involved in my imagination...
 
My crucifixion fantasy (being nailed to a cross) started when I was very very young. I don't come from a religious family, but my parents are historians, so we often visited museums, churches and even as a child I saw a lot of historical movies where the crucifixion was. From the that age I was strongly fascinated and excited when I saw Jesus being scourged and crucified. I imagined myself in his place. The idea excited me even before I had any idea about sexuality. I imagined various scenarios and tricks in which me and other people (classmates or adults) were tortured this way. In my crux fantasies, no one never died. Just was tortured and suffered. As a rule, they stripped me naked, tied ropes to a stake and whipped me. I was subsequently placed on a wooden cross and I was crucified. An important element in those fantasy was my mother, who was present at the crucifixion. It is important to emphasize that I come from a naturist family, we used to go to nudist beaches, which are really common in my country. Honestly, I think that as a result of seeing her naked since childhood, she was a part of those fantasies.Another time she was stripped to half her body in front of me (she only had panties on), whipped on her back, then her panties were torn off, she was placed on a cross and crucified. We were also whipped and nailed both of us.There were dozens of situations and combinations in my mind...

These have been my fantasies since I was very young. With the onset of puberty, the fantasies became much stronger and more sexually oriented (it was not just the fantasy of pain that turned me on, but also its sexual implications). At that time we lived in a village and my parents had less and less time for me, so I spent my days alone in my imagination and desires. I started do some things about myself. I took nails and a hammer, found some abandoned place and played to crucifixion. At first I hammered the nails between my toes, as time went by it wasn't enough and I wanted to really experience the pain. I tried to hammer a nail into my palm. Of course, it didn't even penetrate the bone, it was "just an attempt". It hurt terribly, but the feeling of excitement was indescribable. I was fighting with myself. Although the desire to hammer nails into my palm was immense, my mind always prevented me from doing so....

I can tell you more about my beginnings. There is a lot I can write about myself in this area. If anyone is interested, reply.
 
cruxfantasy said:
Hello Kathrin.
I properly read your comment about how the fantasy about your crucifixion started.
I am new on cruxforums, so I did not read all topics :) but I need to say that your beginnings on this fantasy are absolutely the same as of mine.
It started when I was 8 yo by a similar way.

In your fantasy, were you whipped before your crucifixion?

If you wish, reply me to cruxme@proton.me
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hi cruxfantasy
As you may read this thread from beginning on you will find out, that nearly everybody had that special interest since early childhood, starting around seven to ten years. The adults who became interestet in crux did this most of the time over BDSM interests. :)
 
Hi Kathrin, you are absolutely right. I've combed through most of the posts in this thread and found that a lot of other people have these ideas starting at this age. At that age, when I still knew nothing about sexuality, it was a source of very strong excitement for me. May I know when you were nailed to the cross in your imagination, were you completely naked or were you wearing part of your clothing?
 
I've not commented on this thread, but I think I will now. Just because the comment above is very relevant.

I was raised christian, and have vivid memories of being read bible stories with pictures of Jesus on the cross and wondering what that felt like. It was the big moment in religion where Jesus sacrificed himself for us. I have memories of looking at those pictures alot when I was young. I had a book that I really liked that had Jesus wearing the traditional white robe, but with flip flops, not sandals, progressing right through his life, and finishing with his crucifixion. Some how I discovered that rubbing my cock felt good, I can't have been more than 5 or 6. Somehow rubbing my cock got linked to crucifixion.

So it became a ritual, I started wearing flip flops to be like Jesus while acting out the passion. Remember I'm not doing this naked, infact I didn't even take my pants off, cause all pictures showed Jesus with a loincloth. I'd pretend to get arrested, then remove my shirt to get whipped, and finally get crucified. For my crucifixion I used to lie face down on the floor while I put a pillow under my cock to hump while I pretended to be crucified. I used to have my favorite book propped up in front of me. I can't have been more than 8 by the time this had become my favorite ritual. One day I couldn't find the favorite pillow to put under my cock. There was nothing else handy, so I grabbed the flip flops I had taken off, putting them together, sole up, it gave enough height to put under my pants to push my cock against. So from then on I used flip flops to rub against.

From there is was my late teens before I learnt that crucifixion was done naked, that nails were in the wrists not palms. It was long before the internet. I didn't indulge in self crucifixion until I was in my 30's, and thats another story in itself. But now you should understand my profile picture.....
 
cruxfantasy said:
Hi Kathrin, you are absolutely right. I've combed through most of the posts in this thread and found that a lot of other people have these ideas starting at this age. At that age, when I still knew nothing about sexuality, it was a source of very strong excitement for me. May I know when you were nailed to the cross in your imagination, were you completely naked or were you wearing part of your clothing?
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You find some of my fantasies in the thread "A tread for Kathrins crux fantasies".
 
Simpson said:
I know, I know. The title is long. It's the only way I could think of putting one there.

So...

How did you become interested in crucifixion and why did you want to experience one? Where did the idea come from?

Speaking for myself, I became interested in wanting to play Jesus in JCS and passion plays (one of which, I wrote as a teen and still thinking about whether or not posting) and other Biblical films. Also, it's also because I'm a Christian. So, I'm coming to it from an acting perspective.

Discuss...

Simpson.
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I first saw jesus, a skinny smooth bodied jesus nailed to the crossbeam in a large church display full of details... As a kid it got me thinking after watching a passion play, then when I was 15, Robert Powell being flogged and crucified.. Since then I have taken part in a few passion plays with large crowds, really putting myself into being crucified and how it would look to the crowds, my writhing, crying out etc I am told is very real looking... I maintain my body as slim and smooth for the dramas, and I have done quite a few times being crucified in private events, honouring if people want to crucify me in swim briefs, a little loincloth, or even stark naked with flogging beforehand.. I remain to be available for any of these events and private ones, for free.... No problems at all.. I love the role acting it out as either jesus or a rebel thief.
 
jesuscrux said:
I first saw jesus, a skinny smooth bodied jesus nailed to the crossbeam in a large church display full of details... As a kid it got me thinking after watching a passion play, then when I was 15, Robert Powell being flogged and crucified.. Since then I have taken part in a few passion plays with large crowds, really putting myself into being crucified and how it would look to the crowds, my writhing, crying out etc I am told is very real looking... I maintain my body as slim and smooth for the dramas, and I have done quite a few times being crucified in private events, honouring if people want to crucify me in swim briefs, a little loincloth, or even stark naked with flogging beforehand.. I remain to be available for any of these events and private ones, for free.... No problems at all.. I love the role acting it out as either jesus or a rebel thief.
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nothing nicer than seeing the crucified victim in a brief loincloth crying out in pain
 

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