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Crucifixion And You: How Did The Idea Start?

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Simpson said:
How did you become interested in crucifixion and why did you want to experience one? Where did the idea come from?
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For me I guess it started during teenage years. During summer holidays my 1 year younger male cousin used to stay for a few weeks, we and sometimes a few kids from the neighbourhood used to play together in our large garden and the secluded area behind the house, a small disused playpark surrounded by walls/hedges. My cousin and I must have got some ideas from old 'Sword and Sandal' movies my dad used to watch. Once we staged a mock slave auction, sometimes mock sword fights. Gladiator games. Once a battle where the leader of the losers (me) was mock crucified.

At uni in the 90s my g/f and I joined a university society called 'kink'. Given the name they were quite low key. Like many small uni societies with low numbers, but we met a few other interested people there and tried some stuff out. There were many lonely forested areas within easy driving distance and we tried out a couple of amateur crucifixions outdoors. And being a uni society we had a small amount of funding from the uni to spend! Happy memories.
 
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My current fantasies have developed since puberty when I started to notice men at the beach and of course the pictures of the Easter crucifixion showing Christ's voluntary submission to the agonies he suffered to open the gates of heaven for us all (yes me and you!)

In my fantasies the cross is the culmination of my capture by a cruel enemy, being taken to their fortress, followed by weeks of interrogation under intense medieval tortures with frequent rapes. Eventually I am forced to sign a false confession and am taken out for public flogging and crucifixion,.

Of course I imagine myself naked apart from a flimsy loin cloth. The the men of the town go hard ogling my maidenly asets and the women go wet with jealousy.

My foreplay consists of imagining my tears and screams as muscular tormentors relentlessly assault every part (including that part!) of my naked body with their evil arts. They are so twisted, they continue their torments long after I have surrendered and am completely subjugated.

Finally the total public humiliation of being displayed on the cross brings me to happy fulfillment . .

Often I am ashamed by my dark sexual desires but at other times (like now) happy to lay bare my terrible secret life. Hope that helps
 

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always been fascinated with bondage, but the crux thing wasn't a big deal because i live in a country swimming in catholic imagery...
then i saw my first arcimboldo picture and that completely changed my mind
 

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The earliest stage i remember to be attracted by crux was even before puberty when looking at a child picture book about the life of jesus with an illustration of him crucified half naked. The fascination about crucified women and hanging was then "feed" by the upcoming internet and the old sites of retrotek, crucified women and then TDS.
 
That makes me think about it to be genetically coded like other sexual orientations. Ours is just not as accepted by the outside world as the other ones (Well at least SM was somehow discussed in public due to 50 shades, but its not the same).
Long time i thought of me as something wrong which has to be cured and has its root in my childhood. Now i try to overcome these feelings and accept my sexual fantisies as what they are: an important and valua le part of me!
 
SemteX said:
That makes me think about it to be genetically coded like other sexual orientations. Ours is just not as accepted by the outside world as the other ones (Well at least SM was somehow discussed in public due to 50 shades, but its not the same).
Long time i thought of me as something wrong which has to be cured and has its root in my childhood. Now i try to overcome these feelings and accept my sexual fantisies as what they are: an important and valua le part of me!
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I encourage you to forgive yourself utterly and embrace and enjoy your fantasies as much as you can!

I’ve spent too much energy feeling various levels of guilt over my weird sexual fantasies, including worrying something was wrong with me and trying to suppress it. But I’ve come to realise they’re as essential to me as breathing. My kink is a part of me and defines my sexuality. I discuss this in more detail on my fetlife account, Loinclothslave2 (someone else there has the same name!)

So What is my Sexually?
 
I got interested in crucifixion as a teenager, when I was in Catholic church. I wondered about what it was like for Him to actually hang on that cross. I wondered about next to Him, how it was for them. I wanted to find out for myself.

I spent YEARS looking at gay BDSM pictures that featured guys crucified in some manner, wanting to trade places with them. I still fantasize about taking the place of some hot crucified guy, or being made to join him on a cross of my own. I've traveled great distances three times on the promise of getting crucified.

One time, the guy wouldn't even acknowledge me at his door, he said he didn't think I'd really make a trip of 600+ miles to Eastern Pennsylvania. The second time I drove from Michigan to rural Nebraska only to find out that he wanted me to put him on the cross (which I did), but never reciprocated.

The third time I drove down to Mississippi/Louisiana, spent a weekend there as he built two crosses. He had another visitor who was ostensibly also going to be crucified. They had lengthy conversations about Catholic dogma and practices and I was largely ignored until the other visitor left. I had asked to be put on my cross naked for at least one hour. He had two crosses, one about 9 feet tall, one about 6 feet tall. He tried to put me on the 9 foot tall one first but couldn't get my arms into the pre-arranged ropes. So he took that one off the platform and attached the 6 foot one. Again, my arms would not bend right to get me into the prearranged ropes, but he was able to undo one rope to put my arm up and then relash the rope to the cross. But he never raised my feet up off the ground, just left me standing there. I asked for it once, but he said he wanted to see how I did first. At the end of the first hour. I was still ready for more, still wanted to actually hang. He didn't get the rush out of it he thought he would, so I was released.

Since then, I've been actively seeking a guy or a group of men who will SINCERELY mount me on a cross (I don't care if it's a T-style or an X-style as long as I am actually hanging) and leave me to suffer for at least one hour, preferably longer.
 
Aqualaguy said:
Since then, I've been actively seeking a guy or a group of men who will SINCERELY mount me on a cross (I don't care if it's a T-style or an X-style as long as I am actually hanging) and leave me to suffer for at least one hour, preferably longer.
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As society we are not as open as we think...
 
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