Here's a somewhat satirical story, presenting a short review from Jane, a woman that decided to quit working at the office so she can enjoy life as a galley slave. This is her review:
Everyday when I was slaving away in my cubicle from 9 to 5, on the fifth floor of some corporate building, I compared my job to slavery on a galley. Oh, how wrong I was! My supervisor signed me up for the Noble Barque two months program, hoping to motivate me to better appreciate my position. Fool! Now I know how rewarding it is to be a slave on a longboat in Norway. Here are 10 reasons that might convince you to give up your job and sign up for it:
1. Free internship with development opportunities. They are always looking for more women to serve on the oars. You get immediate feedback for your work, feeling the lash of the whip for poor performance, and getting proper advice to improve your work, usually shouted by an overseer. You’ll also get the chance to go fishing, cooking, cleaning, hauling, pleasing your overseers, thus allowing you to learn all sorts of skills in a short time, and qualifying you for a wide range of other jobs.
2. Bonuses for high performance. You do well and get the cargo delivered on time? You get to eat some extra rations! That’s very good for teamwork, and every time I pull the oar, I know we’re striving for a common goal. Very obedient slaves also get a night in their own private bedroom and a proper toilet! How cool is that?!
3. Body positivity. When I was brought here, I had every single piece of clothing removed, forever. At first I was shy about my own body, worrying that I was too skinny, but not anymore! They don’t discriminate around here! Slim or muscular, overweight or underweight, everyone can pull and push an oar! Everybody is useful, and we sit around naked, all day long. Ugh, those clothes! I won’t do laundry again for the rest of my days.
4. Free travels across the world. Self-explanatory. You get to travel across the seas, seeing coastal cities all over the world, and all for free!
5. Free gym services. Working on those calves, biceps and triceps. The gym devices are cheap and practical. They only involve a bench and an oar, and yet, they are so efficient! Not to mention that the overseers are our very-own personal coaches, motivating us to keep working!
6. Team building activities. Should you get bored of intensive rowing, there are so many activities to lift up your spirit and to help you develop an even stronger bond to the other slaves! Mining together on a penal colony, playing seeking games whenever we are asked to haul resources from the dock warehouses, going to social events in the seaside brothels, the list never ends!
7. Free Dominatrix services. Do you even know how much they charge for these in my hometown? And here on the longboat, they offer them for free! Whips, chains, ropes, a torture chamber on the lower deck, what else could a submissive girl want?
8. Highly competent human resources. Slaves that are inefficient are immediately dismissed and replaced by new, enthusiastic volunteers. They won’t give you time to rot in there, unlike at my previous job. The hiring interview only lasts a couple of minutes. And of course, any complaint is immediately reported to the captain, who’ll see it that any overworked or stressed slave will get their own extra sessions with a dominatrix, so they can have a good time and be more motivated at work.
9. Free artistic events. Our very-own band of drummers in the back of the ship, helping us work, by giving us that rhytm!
10. Free dating services. Getting your ass and your cunt pounded by low-level overseers, or accidentally humping your oar mate while sleeping at night are almost daily occurrences around here. The low-level overseers are lonely man and they are open to any woman!
I knew I’ve made the right choice when I signed up all my friends for this. Can’t wait to see their reactions!