messaline
Crucified Amazon
Indeed ! I run !!!
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Horny The Unicorn
- Thread starter Wragg
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Insatiable meets insatiable.Indeed ! I run !!!
They might as well keep themselves occupied. The students are clearly a dead loss.Insatiable meets insatiable.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
It's called 'academic freedom'!They might as well keep themselves occupied. The students are clearly a dead loss.
For a moment Phlebas just gazed at him. Then, for the first time since ten o’clock, he smiled. Then he made a kind of snorting sound. Soon, he was laughing, deep gales of mirth sweeping through the room. Messaline joined in, various parts of her pleasing Wragg greatly as they wobbled in the storm of hilarity. The squirrel was rolling on the floor, hooting with glee.
It was only Wragg that didn’t see the joke.
Phlebas took off his purple spectacles and found a purple handkerchief, which he used to wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes. Eventually he regained some self-control and the power of speech returned to him.
“Horny the Unicorn. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because, brainy as you are, you’re not as brainy as me!” returned RR.
“Er…. hello?” ventured Wragg, “I am here you know! Who or what is Horny the Unicorn?”
That did no good whatsoever. It simply returned the three of them to utter helplessness.
A purple vase fell off a shelf and shattered, following a collision with Professor La Croix, who was not under proper control. Phlebas pointed a purple wand at it and returned it to its appointed place, but the interruption did at least bring the meeting to order.
“You’ll find out, Wragg, my boy. You’ll find out. Go with Messa and RR! Goodbye!”
The interview was, mercifully, at an end. Another bang, Wragg’s stomach turned a somersault as he was transported to… who knows where?
**********************
The purple fog cleared, and, along with RR and Messa, he found himself within some stables, in the company of several very surprised horses, and a less surprised but exceedingly well-dressed gentleman, whom he recognised immediately as Lord Jollyrei of High Groaning.
“Your Lordship!” said Wragg, bowing deeply.
“Hi Jolly!” said Messa. RR jumped happily onto Jollyrei’s shoulder.
“Hello, everyone!” Jollyrei sounded affable enough. “What brings you all to High Groaning?”
“Sir, I think I’ve been posted here as a junior stable lad,” replied Wragg miserably, suspecting that his worst fears had come to pass. Wragg could not bear horse shit.
“Actually, he hasn’t.” Messa smiled. “We wondered if he could take Horny for a ride?”
“Horny? Horny?” Jollyrei was flabbergasted. “You want Wragg to ride Horny?”
“Yes, please,” affirmed RR.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Jollyrei frowned.
‘What is it about this damn unicorn,’ wondered Wragg, ‘that it produces some kind of extreme emotion every time someone mentions the name?’
“Professeur Phlebas ‘imself requests it.” Messaline delivered the final word.
“Does he, indeed? Very well, then. Follow me.”
Wragg trailed behind the others as Jollyrei led them past row after row of stalls. Clearly Lord Jollyrei owned an awful lot of horses.
“Do you know anything about unicorns, Wragg?” asked Jollyrei, conversationally.
“Aren’t they just horses with horns?” suggested Wragg.
Jollyrei stopped, turned, and regarded Wragg with a pitying look. “They are not just horses with horns, Wragg! That may sum up their appearance, but, as to their nature, you could not be further from the truth.”
“Their nature, your Lordship?”
“They are devils, sir. Utter devils. And Horny is the worst of them!”
“What do you mean, ‘devils?’”
“Sex mad, disobedient, sex mad, mischievious, sex mad, bad-tempered, sex mad, self-centred, sex-mad, misogynistic, sex-mad, lazy…oh, and did I mention that they are sex-mad?”
“It was subtle, sir, but I spotted it.”
“Put it this way, his name has nothing to do with any adornment on his forehead.”
From behind him came a piercing shriek.
“Oh fuck!” said Jollyrei, “He’s seen Messaline!”
It was only Wragg that didn’t see the joke.
Phlebas took off his purple spectacles and found a purple handkerchief, which he used to wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes. Eventually he regained some self-control and the power of speech returned to him.
“Horny the Unicorn. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because, brainy as you are, you’re not as brainy as me!” returned RR.
“Er…. hello?” ventured Wragg, “I am here you know! Who or what is Horny the Unicorn?”
That did no good whatsoever. It simply returned the three of them to utter helplessness.
A purple vase fell off a shelf and shattered, following a collision with Professor La Croix, who was not under proper control. Phlebas pointed a purple wand at it and returned it to its appointed place, but the interruption did at least bring the meeting to order.
“You’ll find out, Wragg, my boy. You’ll find out. Go with Messa and RR! Goodbye!”
The interview was, mercifully, at an end. Another bang, Wragg’s stomach turned a somersault as he was transported to… who knows where?
**********************
The purple fog cleared, and, along with RR and Messa, he found himself within some stables, in the company of several very surprised horses, and a less surprised but exceedingly well-dressed gentleman, whom he recognised immediately as Lord Jollyrei of High Groaning.
“Your Lordship!” said Wragg, bowing deeply.
“Hi Jolly!” said Messa. RR jumped happily onto Jollyrei’s shoulder.
“Hello, everyone!” Jollyrei sounded affable enough. “What brings you all to High Groaning?”
“Sir, I think I’ve been posted here as a junior stable lad,” replied Wragg miserably, suspecting that his worst fears had come to pass. Wragg could not bear horse shit.
“Actually, he hasn’t.” Messa smiled. “We wondered if he could take Horny for a ride?”
“Horny? Horny?” Jollyrei was flabbergasted. “You want Wragg to ride Horny?”
“Yes, please,” affirmed RR.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Jollyrei frowned.
‘What is it about this damn unicorn,’ wondered Wragg, ‘that it produces some kind of extreme emotion every time someone mentions the name?’
“Professeur Phlebas ‘imself requests it.” Messaline delivered the final word.
“Does he, indeed? Very well, then. Follow me.”
Wragg trailed behind the others as Jollyrei led them past row after row of stalls. Clearly Lord Jollyrei owned an awful lot of horses.
“Do you know anything about unicorns, Wragg?” asked Jollyrei, conversationally.
“Aren’t they just horses with horns?” suggested Wragg.
Jollyrei stopped, turned, and regarded Wragg with a pitying look. “They are not just horses with horns, Wragg! That may sum up their appearance, but, as to their nature, you could not be further from the truth.”
“Their nature, your Lordship?”
“They are devils, sir. Utter devils. And Horny is the worst of them!”
“What do you mean, ‘devils?’”
“Sex mad, disobedient, sex mad, mischievious, sex mad, bad-tempered, sex mad, self-centred, sex-mad, misogynistic, sex-mad, lazy…oh, and did I mention that they are sex-mad?”
“It was subtle, sir, but I spotted it.”
“Put it this way, his name has nothing to do with any adornment on his forehead.”
From behind him came a piercing shriek.
“Oh fuck!” said Jollyrei, “He’s seen Messaline!”
And a few other things, too, but you know, there's nothing like a fast horse to impress the girls. Why, I know some girls who seem to be fixated on mustangs.
Never seen the point, meself; I prefer Arabians, or perhaps something German. Not sure where Horny is from...
...but he's certainly exotic.
Do pardon my use of the expletive. I was going to say exotic and folklorique, but I think we'd better spring into action (as indeed Horny seems to be doing) if we want to avoid an unfortunately folklorique incident.
Repertor
Artifex Imaginum
messaline
Crucified Amazon
Or perhaps that it's for another reason that I let you imagining ...
Attachments
messaline
Crucified Amazon
What is coming from this ??? I'm wondering ... 
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
And Professor Pilus recalls the nights when they sat mostly in Jollyrei's own room - "a room where every table was littered with books and papers and cigar-boxes and quirts and crops and spurs and from the walls looked down the delicate heads of those descendants of the Darley Arab, the Byerley Turk and the Godolphin Barb whose fame has gone abroad wherever men love horses."
But whether those "quirts and crops and spurs" might be needed to subdue Horny the Unicorn or Professor Mlle Lacroix remains to be seen.Or perhaps that it's for another reason that I let you imagining ...
(Sorry Mr Buchan but Pp recalled those words of yours as He stood so recently by the grave of the Godolphin Barb)
Mmmm! I love this white dress !!!
I would have though that you would prefer the one in the first pic
messaline
Crucified Amazon
I also like but this kind of "robe à frou-frou" is so sexy !I would have though that you would prefer the one in the first pic
La prononciation française est toujours comme ça!Pourtant, la prononciation française est tellement excitante !!! "Fla" " gel" "lation"
"Though, the french pronouciation is so much exciting !!!)
It's like a lash of leather turning around your tender body !
(Alors, parlée par les anglais, plus comme de papier de verre
)French pronunciation's always like that!
(Well, pronounced by the English, it's more like sandpaper)
RacingRodent
Consul
QRA!
For future reference the acronym "QRA" stands for "Quit Reading Ahead".
So what is the acronym for Quiet! Rodents Asleep! then?
RacingRodent
Consul
DNDTR
HCBDWR
(Do Not Disturb the Rodent. He Can Be Dangerous When Roused)
Only a little
But can be bribed with coffee
