rb1956
Lone Wolf
lucky lucky squirrel.
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Horny The Unicorn
- Thread starter Wragg
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Artifex Imaginum
DYBI don't you believe it, they're just kidding, rodents don't sleep
HDSSIW? How do squirrels survive in winter?
Unlike many rodents, squirrels do not hibernate during the winter. In the past they kept their activity to a minimum while living off fat reserves. They used to rely on cached stores of food during the winter.That was before internet shopping had been invented.
But sometimes they lack patience.
Jollyrei raced to Horny’s stall, with Wragg hot on his heels. His worst fears were realised. Messaline was being chased around the stall by one extremely randy unicorn.
“Cor, just look at the ass on that!” eulogised Horny, who, unlike Jollyrei’s horses but like RR the squirrel, appeared to have the power of speech. “That’s one filly I’d love to get my horn into, and not the one on my head, either! Come on, love, get ‘em off!”
“We had a stable girl here once, name of ‘Dorothy Brown’”, explained Jollyrei.
“I see.” Wragg did see. The fourth years had told him all about Dorothy Brown…
Messaline giggled happily as she ran, but RR was less amused. “Can it, Horny. She’s mine. Touch her and you’re a gelding!”
“Oh yeah, Ratface? You and whose army?”
“Do something, your Lordship!” pleaded Wragg, “Before there’s too much blood! I can’t bear blood!”
“I’m not going to do anything,” announced Jollyrei. “You are.”
“M-me? W-what can I do?”
“You are going to bring order to this chaos before…” there was a loud ripping noise as Horny got hold of Messa’s dress “…it’s too late!”
But Wragg simply stood with his mouth open. The woman of his dreams, stark naked, who could blame him?
“WRAGG!” thundered Jollyrei, “For God’s sake! Haven’t you seen a naked woman before? Man up! You look like a goldfish!”
Horny had discovered it was fun whipping Messaline’s buttocks with his tail. Messaline seemed to be enjoying it too.
Wragg pulled himself together. “Really! Horny! You must stop that! It just won’t do!”
“Fuck off, Wraggie!” Horny landed a well-aimed hoof in the centre of Wragg’s chest, and he went flying backwards.
For a moment he lay there, stunned. Then he got a little bit cross. Then he got himself worked up until he was very, very cross indeed. He stood up, grabbed a whip, and in true Professor Primus style, he cracked it across Horny’s hindquarters.
“Owwww! Sonofabitch!” said Horny. He turned his attention from Messaline and glared at Wragg. “Ha! You think you can tame me with that?”
That horn suddenly looked extremely threatening. But Wragg did exactly as Primus had shown him, and cracked the whip right across the unicorn’s face.
That made Horny properly mad. He charged across the stable, head down, but Wragg was far too quick for him, and Horny managed only to spear a bale of hay. While he was attempting to extricate himself, Wragg rained blows down on the exposed flanks of the beast. Crack! Crack! Crack! Each stroke landed with millimetric precision exactly where Wragg wanted it.
“Bastard!” yelled Horny, finally shaking himself loose. “I will kill you! Come here! AARGH! Mmmph!”
Wragg had expertly got the whip across Horny’s mouth. The end flew round and round, and suddenly Horny was under his total control. He grabbed Horny by the horn and stared straight into the unicorn’s eyes.
“Listen very carefully, you scummy nag!” Wragg spoke slowly and clearly. “You are nothing more than a deformed mule! I was trained in whipcraft by the great Pilus Primus himself. One false move from you, one flick of the whip from me, and you will indeed be a gelding. Do I make myself clear?”
Horny glared at him.
“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”
Horny nodded.
“Good. Then we understand each other.” Wragg unwound the whip, and stepped back, gave Horny one last stare, and then turned to the others.
“Bloody jumped up little creep….” muttered Horny, behind him.
CRACK! Wragg casually flicked the whip behind him, and caught Horny right across his ears. Wragg didn’t even turn around.
“Very impressive, my boy!” said Jollyrei.
“I say, well done, Wragg!” cheered RR.
“Hum. I was enjoying that,” muttered Messaline, her face as long as a wet weekend.
“One question,” Jollyrei looked puzzled. “If you can do that with a whip, how come Prof Primus gave you a D- minus?”
“Professor Primus was an excellent teacher. But he would expect us to use the whip on…. girls. I mean, just look at Messaline’s, um, bottom! Such flawless beauty! Such perfection! How could I touch her with a whip?”
To Wragg’s consternation and absolute bafflement, Messaline broke down in tears.
“Cor, just look at the ass on that!” eulogised Horny, who, unlike Jollyrei’s horses but like RR the squirrel, appeared to have the power of speech. “That’s one filly I’d love to get my horn into, and not the one on my head, either! Come on, love, get ‘em off!”
“We had a stable girl here once, name of ‘Dorothy Brown’”, explained Jollyrei.
“I see.” Wragg did see. The fourth years had told him all about Dorothy Brown…
Messaline giggled happily as she ran, but RR was less amused. “Can it, Horny. She’s mine. Touch her and you’re a gelding!”
“Oh yeah, Ratface? You and whose army?”
“Do something, your Lordship!” pleaded Wragg, “Before there’s too much blood! I can’t bear blood!”
“I’m not going to do anything,” announced Jollyrei. “You are.”
“M-me? W-what can I do?”
“You are going to bring order to this chaos before…” there was a loud ripping noise as Horny got hold of Messa’s dress “…it’s too late!”
But Wragg simply stood with his mouth open. The woman of his dreams, stark naked, who could blame him?
“WRAGG!” thundered Jollyrei, “For God’s sake! Haven’t you seen a naked woman before? Man up! You look like a goldfish!”
Horny had discovered it was fun whipping Messaline’s buttocks with his tail. Messaline seemed to be enjoying it too.
Wragg pulled himself together. “Really! Horny! You must stop that! It just won’t do!”
“Fuck off, Wraggie!” Horny landed a well-aimed hoof in the centre of Wragg’s chest, and he went flying backwards.
For a moment he lay there, stunned. Then he got a little bit cross. Then he got himself worked up until he was very, very cross indeed. He stood up, grabbed a whip, and in true Professor Primus style, he cracked it across Horny’s hindquarters.
“Owwww! Sonofabitch!” said Horny. He turned his attention from Messaline and glared at Wragg. “Ha! You think you can tame me with that?”
That horn suddenly looked extremely threatening. But Wragg did exactly as Primus had shown him, and cracked the whip right across the unicorn’s face.
That made Horny properly mad. He charged across the stable, head down, but Wragg was far too quick for him, and Horny managed only to spear a bale of hay. While he was attempting to extricate himself, Wragg rained blows down on the exposed flanks of the beast. Crack! Crack! Crack! Each stroke landed with millimetric precision exactly where Wragg wanted it.
“Bastard!” yelled Horny, finally shaking himself loose. “I will kill you! Come here! AARGH! Mmmph!”
Wragg had expertly got the whip across Horny’s mouth. The end flew round and round, and suddenly Horny was under his total control. He grabbed Horny by the horn and stared straight into the unicorn’s eyes.
“Listen very carefully, you scummy nag!” Wragg spoke slowly and clearly. “You are nothing more than a deformed mule! I was trained in whipcraft by the great Pilus Primus himself. One false move from you, one flick of the whip from me, and you will indeed be a gelding. Do I make myself clear?”
Horny glared at him.
“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”
Horny nodded.
“Good. Then we understand each other.” Wragg unwound the whip, and stepped back, gave Horny one last stare, and then turned to the others.
“Bloody jumped up little creep….” muttered Horny, behind him.
CRACK! Wragg casually flicked the whip behind him, and caught Horny right across his ears. Wragg didn’t even turn around.
“Very impressive, my boy!” said Jollyrei.
“I say, well done, Wragg!” cheered RR.
“Hum. I was enjoying that,” muttered Messaline, her face as long as a wet weekend.
“One question,” Jollyrei looked puzzled. “If you can do that with a whip, how come Prof Primus gave you a D- minus?”
“Professor Primus was an excellent teacher. But he would expect us to use the whip on…. girls. I mean, just look at Messaline’s, um, bottom! Such flawless beauty! Such perfection! How could I touch her with a whip?”
To Wragg’s consternation and absolute bafflement, Messaline broke down in tears.
RacingRodent
Consul
I understand that completely. I hate the idea of marring a beautiful girl's perfect skin, especially on her bottom.
Still, I do manage to complete assignments (in between snacks). I mean, now you've met my uncle, what choice do I have? I was very nice to the girl I whipped, after the last "pop quiz" that Prof. Pilus sprang on us last week. Happily, she was very, er, understanding. I suggest you imagine every target is Horny now. You never know; she might be afterwards. 
- Jollyrei Minor
Horny now. You never know; she might be afterwards.
Now there's a thought!
messaline
Crucified Amazon
It's not astonishing that I cry : what should I become if nobody could whip me in the future ?
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messaline
Crucified Amazon
Ooooooh ! All naked women are not Messaline !!!
Héééé !!! So, is he not the son of Sir and Lady Wragg ? !
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
Now this has Pp most concerned. Here the practice of outsourcing and the use of 457 visas to bring in semi-skilled labour to replace the skilled is rampant but to oursource the whipping of a fair maiden's bum to livestock? Outragous.
And it is all the worse if she clearly enjoys the experience!
Pp must take Professor Lacroix in hand. And soon!
Primus pilus
Magister Australis
And it's about bloody time young Wragg.
Professor Pilus has even taught shielas to crack a whip and was about to despair of ever seeing you take your own ear off let along land a crack on a living creature.
But it is beginning to sound like all you will be good for is tailing livestock if you can't bring yourself to lay the leather across a girl's bum even when she invites it?Professor Pilus will have a talk with old man Wragg about sending you Down Under like the remittance men of the old days when well-bred families used the outback as a way to hide their ne'er-do-well offspring.
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Is that what all the fuss is about? Wragg doesn't want to damage a girl's bottom? Good Lord, Wraggie, you don't have to lay into a girl the way you do with, well, Horny. You're not out to destroy them, even when you're doing your crucifixion practicum. You just artistically stripe their bums, back, and thighs for them and...um...you know...bums...thighs...
Sorry, what was I saying? Miles away there.
Is that an Eccles Cake?
(Jollyrei Minor)
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Artifex Imaginum
Jollyrei Minor - La petite Mort?Is that what all the fuss is about? Wragg doesn't want to damage a girl's bottom? Good Lord, Wraggie, you don't have to lay into a girl the way you do with, well, Horny. You're not out to destroy them, even when you're doing your crucifixion practicum. You just artistically stripe their bums, back, and thighs for them and...um...you know...bums...thighs...
Sorry, what was I saying? Miles away there.
Is that an Eccles Cake?
(Jollyrei Minor)
(I'm sure Messaline will explain
)You have a little sister?
Wow!"La petite mort" ? In French, it's the deep orgasm ...
That's a deeeeeep orgasm!
messaline
Crucified Amazon
Wow!
That's a deeeeeep orgasm!
Why are you telling that ? Has Lady Wragg ever had such an orgasm ? If no, send her to me, I could learn her ...
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