• Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.

Is It Right To Enjoy Our Fantasies?

Go to CruxDreams.com
willowfall said:
I am considerably younger than my brothers. My oldest brother is 22 years older than I am and my youngest is 10. I was 1 at my oldest brother's wedding (which must have been really weird).

He had quite a collection of men's magazines, and Gor novels and a really kinky book by Anne Rice with serious BDSM in it. He must have packed them away before he left for college (before I was born) and forgot they were in my mother's attic. Well I am an explorer and was always going through boxes of old family pictures in the attic when under one of the stacks of boxes in a back corner I came across a box marked as his books. I opened it up and BAM!

5 pages into the first one I new this was verboten material so I wasn't telling mom but I was fascinated. I couldn't have been more than 10-11 at the time so I really didn't understand the tingly feeling I was getting 'down there' as I finished the first book(s).

Anyway a couple of years later when I was visiting him and his wife, I brought along one as bedtime reading. I inadvertently forgot to put it back in my bag when my sister-in-law came in while I was showering and found it on the bed.

She wasn't into that sort of thing but knew my brother had an interest so it wasn't hard for her to figure where I had gotten the book from.

After they had a fight royal, in which I intervened and explained how I had come into possession of the book, she calmed down. She then informed my brother he needed to have a talk with me and left the room.

So that is how my brother became my first guide into the life.

I need to state for the record that my brother (none of them) EVER had any even remotely inappropriate interactions with me.

kisses

willowfall
Click to expand...

Quite a story!
 
willowfall said:
I am considerably younger than my brothers. My oldest brother is 22 years older than I am and my youngest is 10. I was 1 at my oldest brother's wedding (which must have been really weird).

He had quite a collection of men's magazines, and Gor novels and a really kinky book by Anne Rice with serious BDSM in it. He must have packed them away before he left for college (before I was born) and forgot they were in my mother's attic. Well I am an explorer and was always going through boxes of old family pictures in the attic when under one of the stacks of boxes in a back corner I came across a box marked as his books. I opened it up and BAM!

5 pages into the first one I new this was verboten material so I wasn't telling mom but I was fascinated. I couldn't have been more than 10-11 at the time so I really didn't understand the tingly feeling I was getting 'down there' as I finished the first book(s).

Anyway a couple of years later when I was visiting him and his wife, I brought along one as bedtime reading. I inadvertently forgot to put it back in my bag when my sister-in-law came in while I was showering and found it on the bed.

She wasn't into that sort of thing but knew my brother had an interest so it wasn't hard for her to figure where I had gotten the book from.

After they had a fight royal, in which I intervened and explained how I had come into possession of the book, she calmed down. She then informed my brother he needed to have a talk with me and left the room.

So that is how my brother became my first guide into the life.

I need to state for the record that my brother (none of them) EVER had any even remotely inappropriate interactions with me.

kisses

willowfall
Click to expand...

Thanks. I find it really interesting to read about how people developed this particular erotic interest. Did you ask your brother how he got interested in it?
 
Jon Smithie said:
Thanks. I find it really interesting to read about how people developed this particular erotic interest. Did you ask your brother how he got interested in it?
Click to expand...

You know that is one question that never occurred to me. My guess would be it was an accidental progression of a teenage boy in the early 70s. Also in the box were Edgar Rice Burroughs Mars books. I'm guessing they were probably next to the Gor books in the book store and away you go.

kisses

willowfall
 
willowfall said:
I couldn't have been more than 10-11 at the time so I really didn't understand the tingly feeling
Click to expand...

In this and many of the similar posts scattered around these forums, including my own,( Is It Right To Enjoy Our Fantasies? ) pre-teen interest in some aspect of what the world considers 'kinky' is manifested. Often, as willowfall says, without realising at the time exactly what it all means, just that it is GOOD!

Six decades later, for me the kink has changed, it has been suppressed a little for short times, it has gone though various stages; but it has never left me.

Discussing with others here makes me think that you, willowfall, were not a strange kid, and neither was I. We are all just how we were made, and circumstances allow or disallow these feelings to be expressed physically or intellectually. But these feelings are as much part of us as our height or eye colour.
 
old slave said:
In this and many of the similar posts scattered around these forums, including my own,( Is It Right To Enjoy Our Fantasies? ) pre-teen interest in some aspect of what the world considers 'kinky' is manifested. Often, as willowfall says, without realising at the time exactly what it all means, just that it is GOOD!

Six decades later, for me the kink has changed, it has been suppressed a little for short times, it has gone though various stages; but it has never left me.

Discussing with others here makes me think that you, willowfall, were not a strange kid, and neither was I. We are all just how we were made, and circumstances allow or disallow these feelings to be expressed physically or intellectually. But these feelings are as much part of us as our height or eye colour.
Click to expand...
:clap::clap::aaaaa:well said mate. glad I'm not the only one ;) :)
 
Thessela said:
Is it different if our fantasies are about ourselves, and not other people?
If the darkness is personal?
Click to expand...
I fantasise about things from my own perspective....usually.
Occasionally I think from other person's viewpoint....as a victim.
Everything I do would be purely consensual and would not cause uneccesary suffering or physical pain.....safety is paramount.
 
Last edited:
old slave said:
In this and many of the similar posts scattered around these forums, including my own,( Is It Right To Enjoy Our Fantasies? ) pre-teen interest in some aspect of what the world considers 'kinky' is manifested. Often, as willowfall says, without realising at the time exactly what it all means, just that it is GOOD!

Six decades later, for me the kink has changed, it has been suppressed a little for short times, it has gone though various stages; but it has never left me.

Discussing with others here makes me think that you, willowfall, were not a strange kid, and neither was I. We are all just how we were made, and circumstances allow or disallow these feelings to be expressed physically or intellectually. But these feelings are as much part of us as our height or eye colour.
Click to expand...

Baracus said:
:clap::clap::aaaaa:well said mate. glad I'm not the only one ;):)
Click to expand...

What Baracus said.

And thanks, Old Slave for the link to the thread "Is It Right To Enjoy Our Fantasies." I read your post and all the others with great interest. It's an issue I've wrestled with all my life.
 
old slave said:
Discussing with others here makes me think that you, willowfall, were not a strange kid, and neither was I.
Click to expand...

I know a wonderful woman who is a school psychologist (and having been through counselling myself) who once told me that the definition of "strange" is someone who isn't part of a majority. And that "strange" (like morals) changes over time. Sometimes quickly, sometimes over a very long term.

I prefer the terms 'natural' and 'normal' and please remember I am bi-sexual so don't get offended where I am about to go.

Nature created sex for one purpose, propagation of the species. We humans have turned into an Olympic sport because we get a great deal of pleasure out of it, but that was not nature's intent.

I can not have kids, but even when I could I had no desire to have children. I now live in a lesbian relationship were (science aside) as partners we can not procreate. We are missing an important element, sperm. Thus by biological intent, I am 'abnormal' because I have never had the drive to procreate.

That does NOT mean I am unnatural. There is something in me, completely naturally occurring, maybe a chemical imbalance, that shut down my drive to procreate.

Thus I am 'natural' but not 'normal'.

I look at my interest in hardcore BDSM the same way. Fight or flight in a dangerous situation is the normal order of things. I do neither, for sexual pleasure I seek out dangerous painful experiences, I enjoy pain (well at least I can tolerate a lot of it). That isn't something somebody trained me to do, I was made that way.

I am not 'normal' by society's (or even biology's) standards but I am completely natural as in naturally occurring processes made me what I am.

And all of the above is NOT meant to offend anybody. I apologize in advance if you take it that way.

kisses

willowfall
 
willowfall said:
I know a wonderful woman who is a school psychologist (and having been through counselling myself) who once told me that the definition of "strange" is someone who isn't part of a majority. And that "strange" (like morals) changes over time. Sometimes quickly, sometimes over a very long term.

I prefer the terms 'natural' and 'normal' and please remember I am bi-sexual so don't get offended where I am about to go.

Nature created sex for one purpose, propagation of the species. We humans have turned into an Olympic sport because we get a great deal of pleasure out of it, but that was not nature's intent.

I can not have kids, but even when I could I had no desire to have children. I now live in a lesbian relationship were (science aside) as partners we can not procreate. We are missing an important element, sperm. Thus by biological intent, I am 'abnormal' because I have never had the drive to procreate.

That does NOT mean I am unnatural. There is something in me, completely naturally occurring, maybe a chemical imbalance, that shut down my drive to procreate.

Thus I am 'natural' but not 'normal'.

I look at my interest in hardcore BDSM the same way. Fight or flight in a dangerous situation is the normal order of things. I do neither, for sexual pleasure I seek out dangerous painful experiences, I enjoy pain (well at least I can tolerate a lot of it). That isn't something somebody trained me to do, I was made that way.

I am not 'normal' by society's (or even biology's) standards but I am completely natural as in naturally occurring processes made me what I am.

And all of the above is NOT meant to offend anybody. I apologize in advance if you take it that way.

kisses

willowfall
Click to expand...
Don't worry..you're okay. we're all different in our little ways. hugs.
 
willowfall said:
I know a wonderful woman who is a school psychologist (and having been through counselling myself) who once told me that the definition of "strange" is someone who isn't part of a majority. And that "strange" (like morals) changes over time. Sometimes quickly, sometimes over a very long term.

I prefer the terms 'natural' and 'normal' and please remember I am bi-sexual so don't get offended where I am about to go.

Nature created sex for one purpose, propagation of the species. We humans have turned into an Olympic sport because we get a great deal of pleasure out of it, but that was not nature's intent.

I can not have kids, but even when I could I had no desire to have children. I now live in a lesbian relationship were (science aside) as partners we can not procreate. We are missing an important element, sperm. Thus by biological intent, I am 'abnormal' because I have never had the drive to procreate.

That does NOT mean I am unnatural. There is something in me, completely naturally occurring, maybe a chemical imbalance, that shut down my drive to procreate.

Thus I am 'natural' but not 'normal'.

I look at my interest in hardcore BDSM the same way. Fight or flight in a dangerous situation is the normal order of things. I do neither, for sexual pleasure I seek out dangerous painful experiences, I enjoy pain (well at least I can tolerate a lot of it). That isn't something somebody trained me to do, I was made that way.

I am not 'normal' by society's (or even biology's) standards but I am completely natural as in naturally occurring processes made me what I am.

And all of the above is NOT meant to offend anybody. I apologize in advance if you take it that way.

kisses

willowfall
Click to expand...
My first marriage ended in a large part because we could not procreate... and I am the (sort of) Catholic. My second marriage will be 20 years old this month (no, still no children) and has gone through things I pray none of you experience. We have love and that's what counts...

Ol' Tree
 
willowfall said:
I enjoy pain (well at least I can tolerate a lot of it). That isn't something somebody trained me to do, I was made that way.
Click to expand...

Hum, it's the question ; do we really like the pain ? I think that we like definite pain (whipping .....) , but do we like , for example, a hammer stroke to a finger ?!
I agree that my bdsm'tendency could be natural but I was , at least, trained by my lover'girl in this way , otherwise, I doubt that I should practice ...
I remember , in an other hand, that my father was saying that "nothing could happen which could be from an other nature than ourselves " ...
I rather agree with this sentence ; sooner or later we meet our fate ( or devils ?:D) ...
 
willowfall said:
And all of the above is NOT meant to offend anybody. I apologize in advance if you take it that way.
Click to expand...
There is nothing offending about what you wrote.
willowfall said:
Nature created sex for one purpose, propagation of the species. We humans have turned into an Olympic sport because we get a great deal of pleasure out of it, but that was not nature's intent.
Click to expand...
Even if I do not agree here. Sex is for propagation, right, but the pleasure is part of it. Pleasure is the tool, nature drives us to have sex. It is nature's trap. It's all about evolution. Pleasure is part of the most succesful way to reproduce the species.

Nature has no moral standards. From nature's 'viewpoint', having desires for pleasure, that's what matters. Even if some people's desires make them long to relationships between someone of the same gender, that technically cannot lead to offspring, or to long to fantasies about executions, from evolutionary viewpoint, every variation, no matter how deviant it is judged by the majority of the population, is way better than being not drawn by sexual pleasures at all.
So there is not unnatural about our fantasies.
 
Loxuru said:
There is nothing offending about what you wrote.

Even if I do not agree here. Sex is for propagation, right, but the pleasure is part of it. Pleasure is the tool, nature drives us to have sex. It is nature's trap. It's all about evolution. Pleasure is part of the most succesful way to reproduce the species.

Nature has no moral standards. From nature's 'viewpoint', having desires for pleasure, that's what matters. Even if some people's desires make them long to relationships between someone of the same gender, that technically cannot lead to offspring, or to long to fantasies about executions, from evolutionary viewpoint, every variation, no matter how deviant it is judged by the majority of the population, is way better than being not drawn by sexual pleasures at all.
So there is not unnatural about our fantasies.
Click to expand...
Of course you are correct. Evolution creates side effects. It isn't "planned". It isn't perfect. Promiscuity is built into apes, certainly, and into humans to an extent. We are infested with bacteria, and that is essential for our survival in many ways (immune regulation, nutrition, etc.). It's hard to see how that could be "designed"--"nature" decided you need parasites to survive, but they're bad when they turn from symbionts to pathogens?
"Morality" is practical--society needs to be held together, and selfishness inhibits that. Despite our inclinations to exploit the weak and cheat on our partners, we can refrain from that, just as we refrain from murder and theft (both of which are also "natural"). But I think it goes too far to say (as John Paul II did) that non-exploitive pleasure in sex is wrong, and we should just take cold showers until it's time to procreate.
The Catholic Church is awash in priest scandals. Some of the behavior is in my view infantile. If priests could in their own minds bring themselves to enjoy pornography and fantasy which harms no one, they wouldn't be driven to the absurd acts they committed, in my opinion. They are like thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds just exploring sexuality, but doing it in a very harmful way. Celibacy never allowed them to grow up.
There is clearly a sexual spectrum, and people enjoy different things, whether it is same sex pleasure or opposite sex pleasure or both. To argue that one path is "normal" and "natural" is like saying that there is a ideal physiology and body type, and if you don't have it you're shit. What utter nonsense.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom