windar
Teller of Tales
Are you referring to squirrels?
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Is It Right To Enjoy Our Fantasies?
- Thread starter cruxlover
- Start date
Are you referring to squirrels?
whipmaster2
Magistrate
Someone here posted that this board may prevent some people from acting out, and I wholeheartedly AGREE. It's a safe place to become at peace with a part of each of us that might otherwise torment us. That's just my opinion, of course. It ain't gospel.This was an interesting thread to read, so far.
Can I be allowed me to put my two cents in?
OK, good.
Human nature, as evidently brought on by our evolution, is that we are a social species. It is what gave us our intelligence and the ability to express our "self awareness" (apart from our thumbs and utilization of fire).
As such our societies have evolved along with us. Practices that we deemed barbaric, like various forms of entertainment and execution are labeled as barbaric and unthinkable in most modern societies.
Never the less, atrocities happen, "evil" people exist and thoughtless acts are still committed against fellow human beings and to our planet every day. Statistically, however, human society today is the safest, most prosperous and most altruistic now than it has ever been in our entire history.
I've been a practitioner of self crucifixions since I was a teenager and when I was in college I was immersed in a close nit group of sexual enthusiasts and had both Sub and Dom relationships with a number of people.
The thing that we all had in common was, apart from our particular fetishes, we were able to separate fantasy from reality. All of us where law abiding citizens that partook in completely consensual acts with one another and if at any time anyone felt threatened, mistreated or just uncomfortable any action deemed unwarranted would cease immediately.
At our core we were all naturally kind, caring and altruist people that just so happened to have sexual desires we wanted to explore and never did anything illegal in order to explore them.
A healthy mind is able to analyze the emotions and desires it has and draw conclusions as to the "morality" of the thought.
Am I attracted to pictures and videos of girls being "crucified?" Yes I am, however, those girls are actresses and those scenes do not end in their deaths or major life threatening injuries. Same goes for any main-stream porn scene depicting BDSM practices, even those that can be labeled as "rape or torture porn."
But that's just me, what do ya'all think?
willowfall
Senator
I'd have to agree with the first part. In reality our thought processes and internal desires have not advanced since the dawn of civilization. Even today women (and girls) are a commodity. And the cruelty we are able to inflict on each other is not much different that flaying your enemies alive to get a point across.
Our technology and scientific knowledge advances but the base human no so much.
I think though I'm going to take a slightly different twist on part two. There is a frill to catching the eye of (with the hope of "belonging" to) the alpha male but I don't think it is brought for sexual (as in pleasure in) reasons but biological. Until recently childbearing and rearing was an incredibly dangerous task. Children often died young. Since sex is biologically based (the whole propagation of species thing) I think that evolution gives women the ability to 'reason' that belonging to an alpha male (however you care to define that) gives her offspring the best chance at survival.
Like you a lot of things I find erotic are outside the norm but the reality is from a "possession" basis it is certainly more desirable to be the senior wife in the harem than the lowliest slave girl sex toy.
kisses
willowfall
misskatie25
Magistrate
I'm not so sure we aren't going to return to the old ways !!!!!, The world is a very unhappy place !!!!! hehehehe
DjEtla
Magistrate
Your views are always insightful.
Like many I wonder where BDSM fetishes come from. Like you, I think an evolutionary explanation is most likely. My hunch is that BDSM fantasies are just exaggerated feelings that almost everyone has to a lesser degree. These fantasies must have helped our reproduction and survival in the past or we wouldn't have them -- or at least we can say these fantasies are not very harmful for reproduction and survival.
Like many I wonder where BDSM fetishes come from. Like you, I think an evolutionary explanation is most likely. My hunch is that BDSM fantasies are just exaggerated feelings that almost everyone has to a lesser degree. These fantasies must have helped our reproduction and survival in the past or we wouldn't have them -- or at least we can say these fantasies are not very harmful for reproduction and survival.
Althanie J
Magistrate
Good point. The degree of civilized natures in society can still be judged on a collective, however. For example, despite how long it took us in the United States to do things like abolish slavery, allow women and minorities to be allowed their own agency things are different now. The majority of civilizations today would look at most practices our species indulged in as reprehensible and unthinkable.
Now, with that said, we all have urges and things that excite us. How individuals go about indulging in them is another matter. Most of us, I would hope, would not want to actually rape, mame or kill someone in order to pursue a fantasy. We are capable of indulging in our desires relatively safely and without causing undo harm to others.
Althanie J
Magistrate
Well, personally I believe they come from the fact that we are one of a few species on this planet that not only procreates to produce offspring but also for mere pleasure. As our practices changed they got more inclusive and, for lack of a better term, extreme.
twonines
LIMERICUS
In earlier tmes, before industrialisation and the development of technology, males needed to demonstrate that they possessed the strength and dominance necessary to procreate and women to show that they were capable of childbearing in order to ensure the continuance of the species. Hence the male obsession with breasts and buttocks and the female desire for a muscular well hung partner. This pattern is still the norm in most of the natural world.
As our society has developed, we have become more civilised and refined, but in many of us an underlying longing for the old ways still remains . That doesn`t imply that we can behave like cavemen and women, but it does account for many of the fantasies which we privately indulge in.
Althanie J
Magistrate
One of the great things about our world today is the information age we live in. People who wish to learn how to indulge in certain fantasies can find out how to do it safetly and "efficiently" and find websites and forums, like this one, where they can connect with fellow enthusiasts. Like you fine people. 
Puritan
Magistrate
Well I can see the evolutionary benefit. If you're wired to sexually satisfy your abductor its likely he'll lose interest and or fall asleep instead of nailing you to a tree!
messaline
Crucified Amazon
But it was rather to capture some reproduction'women than to torture them ...
messaline
Crucified Amazon
I could be less optimistic ... In fact, many people are so much "well trained" that they dont dare to search elsewere or even to ask for the other where they can find such sites ... It would be the avowal of their deviations ...One of the great things about our world today is the information age we live in. People who wish to learn how to indulge in certain fantasies can find out how to do it safetly and "efficiently" and find websites and forums, like this one, where they can connect with fellow enthusiasts. Like you fine people.
I remember how many time I was waiting before to log in here ; I was hesitating, I believed that I could be recognized, I was afraid to have speak to other people sharing their fantasies without any discomfort ... And when I was logged, I only whished that nobody will talk to me ... But it was by the past ...
connoisseurs
Senator
Even as a child and teen, and still as a adult, I hated injustice and bullies, i.e. strong people who use their strength to smite the weak.
That is absolutely contrary to my nature as a Dom and my love for dark phantasies.
As I believe that every human is capable of anything, this may be my way to live out my dark side, so that in RL I can be the "good boy" I want to be. To top that, you can say that giving a submissive the things he/she craves, you may be evil, but you are doing a good deed
That is absolutely contrary to my nature as a Dom and my love for dark phantasies.
As I believe that every human is capable of anything, this may be my way to live out my dark side, so that in RL I can be the "good boy" I want to be. To top that, you can say that giving a submissive the things he/she craves, you may be evil, but you are doing a good deed
Yes, as I've said before on the Forums, for a masochist sub,
'do to others what you'd have them to do you'
is not the best advice!
twonines
LIMERICUS
I am sure that are a delightful masochist sub, but I have a sneaking feeling tthat with that massive intellect, there could be a lot of "topping from the bottom" going on!!!!
windar
Teller of Tales
Eul is known to be a very stable genius
connoisseurs
Senator
That is - at least for me - a endless problem. Not alone that my wife is smart, she also knows me to well. On the other hand - I know her too
No, the real problem is that you want to make sure that the sub also has her fun, but not always in the way she wants or expects. In a long lasting relationship it is easier to have a balanced overall result. So, if one day you want to spoil her and gives her all she wants, you can withhold it the next time. Of course that is a very simplified depiction.
KurvyKate
Magistrate
I have a lovely romantic relationship with my wonderful caring boyfriend. We have a beautiful real life together. It's fulfilling, productive, safe and necessary, because I come here. I've tried for years to inspire him to treat me with the malice and vindictiveness my fantasies demand and he's had a go bless him, but.......
I'm sure you know how it is. Recently I've been talking to someone who's introduced me to the idea of inferiority for fun. He's a mild mannered man and always the poor soul who watched the Alpha stud, the hero with the brash "look at the size of my package bitch!" attitude, take the girl he spent so long carefully building a hopeful friendship with. It seems a bollock full of sperm contains not just the instigation of the next generation but also other sperm, for different functions. There are attacker sperm, whose job is to hunt down and kill the sperm of other men, before she gets the wrong child. And there are defender sperm to fend of the other man's attack, to make sure she gets the right child.
From this my friend deduced that once, humans were not monogamous and women were taken as the prize in desperate competition, fought for and over. In the same way as his sperm, but on a larger scale, my friend believes he was evolved not to breed but to perform an ancient society's lesser tasks. Was he given his submissive kink to turn eternal disappointment and frustration into an erotic power other than the fucking he'd always be denied?
Is there a feminine equivalent to this? I know I was born with it. The strange thing is, it has no function in my real life at all. I'm quite happy with the idea that to indulge it I must set my real life aside and explore the internet in search of the degradation and humiliation by lover could never inflict. The need to do this is irresistible, I have to. I ache to be controlled and subjugated and long for the wicked thrill of inferiority.
Why?
I'm sure you know how it is. Recently I've been talking to someone who's introduced me to the idea of inferiority for fun. He's a mild mannered man and always the poor soul who watched the Alpha stud, the hero with the brash "look at the size of my package bitch!" attitude, take the girl he spent so long carefully building a hopeful friendship with. It seems a bollock full of sperm contains not just the instigation of the next generation but also other sperm, for different functions. There are attacker sperm, whose job is to hunt down and kill the sperm of other men, before she gets the wrong child. And there are defender sperm to fend of the other man's attack, to make sure she gets the right child.
From this my friend deduced that once, humans were not monogamous and women were taken as the prize in desperate competition, fought for and over. In the same way as his sperm, but on a larger scale, my friend believes he was evolved not to breed but to perform an ancient society's lesser tasks. Was he given his submissive kink to turn eternal disappointment and frustration into an erotic power other than the fucking he'd always be denied?
Is there a feminine equivalent to this? I know I was born with it. The strange thing is, it has no function in my real life at all. I'm quite happy with the idea that to indulge it I must set my real life aside and explore the internet in search of the degradation and humiliation by lover could never inflict. The need to do this is irresistible, I have to. I ache to be controlled and subjugated and long for the wicked thrill of inferiority.
Why?
willowfall
Senator
My last serious boyfriend was like this a wonderful man but wasn't into BDSM, a need I have so we went our separate ways.
Not sure I have ever heard a bigger crock of bull than "attacker" and "defender" sperm. Sperm is NOT white blood cells for heavens sake. It is testosterone not sperm which makes males (all male mammals) aggressive and YES it is there solely to ensure that superior genes (as designated by nature not humans) is passed on to succeeding generations. It is called 'survival of the fittest' (which unfortunately we use technology to cancel out).
Monogamy exists in very few other species exists in very few other species and for a good reason. A diversified gene pool allows for more adaptions thus a greater chance that the species will survive. The female of any species is a prize to be taken by a dominant male. However humans with a reasoning capability have the ability to make analytical deductions which can over ride biological instinct.
Let's take Arnold S as an example. Big, strong. always defeats the other men and gets the girls (thank you Hollywood). But let's look at this from the female perspective in a Neolithic society. Her breeding instinct is protective, I have to protect and raise my children who is the mate who gives them the best chance of that. Certainty Arnold as a protector fits that bill but how is he as a hunter? Can he follow game at a high speed for miles on end or do the lighter guys leave him behind so he gets less to bring home (none at all). And then is he demanding enough food to feed that massive body there might not be anything left over for her offspring. The last 2 make him a lousy option as a mate (however, point one gives him the ability to seize all the females he wants).
Why do you think rich guys get attention from massive numbers of women? They have the modern resources (foraging\hunting for survival being a passe skill) to take care of her and any offspring.
Or why the handsome guy (or beautiful girl) gets all the attention.? Plenty of studies have proved that people who are 'beautiful' (as designed by the time and place) are considered more desirable, trustworthy, and are generally more successful because the path is 'greased' for them by our biology. Those 3 things add up to providing offspring (and mom) with a better chance of survival than being with an ugly guy nobody wants around. We don't NEED that biological drive anymore to survive but a couple of hundred years of technology is not over-riding\wiping out millions of years of evolution.
As too your friend deciding that he was designed by evolution to be inferior he is making up things (which we humans excel at) to make himself feel better about his romantic failures. Every guy wants the Playboy Bunny in the room but you know what? In a modern society when the best guy with a sword can't kill his competitors and grab the chick and carry her off to his stronghold, she CONTROLS to options as to which male she thinks is best for her (which doesn't mean the guy she thinks is the best is going to agree with her but neither one has to look at the undesirables at all).
So his failures are on him, not evolution. He either doesn't bring enough to the table (or does a bad of presenting what he has) to make the women HE'S interested in think HE'S their best choice.
And that applies to women too, you don't always get the guy you want because he's not convinced you are his best option.
Now maybe in both cases the tools you have are not superior (say a prehensile tail) but that's because of inferior genes producing an inferior product.
Humans have turned sex into an Olympic sport, nature intended it for only one thing .................. procreation.
kisses
willowfall
StarbuckSlut
Magistrate
In answer to the original question yes!
I believe its very worth while and ok to explore your fantasies and sexual side.
But its important to know what can be real and what can be fantasy. Our more tame fantasies with a consenting adult partner can be practiced and become real with lots of enjoyment and is totally normal.
The more extreme Fantasy (and boy are mine extreme) is also healthy to explore as long as it stays as fantasy and no one gets hurt or exploited and they stay as fantasies aka cool awesome stories between friends
I believe its very worth while and ok to explore your fantasies and sexual side.
But its important to know what can be real and what can be fantasy. Our more tame fantasies with a consenting adult partner can be practiced and become real with lots of enjoyment and is totally normal.
The more extreme Fantasy (and boy are mine extreme) is also healthy to explore as long as it stays as fantasy and no one gets hurt or exploited and they stay as fantasies aka cool awesome stories between friends