Peony
Magistrate
JOURNEY OF A PAIN SLUT - ACT 6 Chapter 37
And now I am awake. The door is slighly ajar. I hear them come in. They must be carrying things. I can hear them clattering around. I can hear them.
I am awake.
And I know. I always knew. That it would be like this. Or some other way. That it would come to this. It's so unbelievably sweet. I'm smiling as I stroke my breasts, my clit. Gently. I know.
I am awake. I can hear them.
I can hear what they are saying.
And I am so happy.
Today. Here. It's going to happen. Today. Here.
I touch myself.
I am so happy.
I begin to think quickly. I begin to wonder. I begin to feel frightened. I beging to feel excited. It's today. They are going to do it to me. Today. Here.
I am so happy.
I wonder how it will be. How long it will last. I wonder how I will face the moment before they start. Will I want to stop?
I know I won't. I will be scared. So fucking scared. I will be humming Lana del Rey to myself. And Mahler. Kindertotenlieder. My sister played it on the piano. Songs for the death of children. Me. His little girl. Going to be killed.
KILLED!
I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today.
I keep repeating it to myself. I really am going to die today.
In awful, terrible pain. Hurting beyond hurt. The pain I want. The pain that I can't live without. The pain that will kill me
And they will do it to me. And she will watch. Abi, beautiful Abi will watch. And he will be scared. Even as he cuts me or nails me or ties me or whatever they have chosen to do to me . He will be scared. And Abi won't be. She will smile. And I will look at her and smile back. And then I will probably cry and scream and gasp and heave and slowly, slowly, slowly I will die.
I really am going to die today.
I really am going to die today.
I keep saying it. I try to calm myself. I'm so fucking frightened. So fucking excited. I so want this. I so want to hurt. I want this so fucking much.
And I'm so sorry. To my sis and my bro and my ma and pa. And my teachers who inspired me and encouraged me. And my friends. And the BF I left. I am so so sorry. But I need to do this. You will never know. You won't know what happened to me. Just Abi and Him will know. No-one else. Just them. And I am so sorry. But if you knew, perhaps you'd understand.
I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today.
And I am so happy. So amazingly fucking happy. And so fucking scared. But mainly...
...I am so so so happy...
And now I am awake. The door is slighly ajar. I hear them come in. They must be carrying things. I can hear them clattering around. I can hear them.
I am awake.
And I know. I always knew. That it would be like this. Or some other way. That it would come to this. It's so unbelievably sweet. I'm smiling as I stroke my breasts, my clit. Gently. I know.
I am awake. I can hear them.
I can hear what they are saying.
And I am so happy.
Today. Here. It's going to happen. Today. Here.
I touch myself.
I am so happy.
I begin to think quickly. I begin to wonder. I begin to feel frightened. I beging to feel excited. It's today. They are going to do it to me. Today. Here.
I am so happy.
I wonder how it will be. How long it will last. I wonder how I will face the moment before they start. Will I want to stop?
I know I won't. I will be scared. So fucking scared. I will be humming Lana del Rey to myself. And Mahler. Kindertotenlieder. My sister played it on the piano. Songs for the death of children. Me. His little girl. Going to be killed.
KILLED!
I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today.
I keep repeating it to myself. I really am going to die today.
In awful, terrible pain. Hurting beyond hurt. The pain I want. The pain that I can't live without. The pain that will kill me
And they will do it to me. And she will watch. Abi, beautiful Abi will watch. And he will be scared. Even as he cuts me or nails me or ties me or whatever they have chosen to do to me . He will be scared. And Abi won't be. She will smile. And I will look at her and smile back. And then I will probably cry and scream and gasp and heave and slowly, slowly, slowly I will die.
I really am going to die today.
I really am going to die today.
I keep saying it. I try to calm myself. I'm so fucking frightened. So fucking excited. I so want this. I so want to hurt. I want this so fucking much.
And I'm so sorry. To my sis and my bro and my ma and pa. And my teachers who inspired me and encouraged me. And my friends. And the BF I left. I am so so sorry. But I need to do this. You will never know. You won't know what happened to me. Just Abi and Him will know. No-one else. Just them. And I am so sorry. But if you knew, perhaps you'd understand.
I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today. I really am going to die today.
And I am so happy. So amazingly fucking happy. And so fucking scared. But mainly...
...I am so so so happy...