Limericks

[Ted Parry]

Back to the Wild,Wild West

That wicked young lady called Moore
Said come and make me your squaw
I’ve consulted my totem
and the size of your scrotum
makes me think your dick touches the floor

He thought he knew what she meant
When she invited him into her tent
But he wasn’t enlightened
In fact he was frightened
So instead of coming he went

 

[twonines]

Holy shit!!!!

Monty`s anthology of verse
Is causing our Barb to curse.
She`s been cruelly belted,
Her bare bottom welted,
Things just get progressively worse.

 

[Barbaria1]

At thirty-four pages
A thread for the sages
It’ll never die
It’s endless says I
This thread never ages

 

[Hangnail]

It seemed as if every last brave
Stepped up to enjoy their sex slave..
Exhausted and dripping,
She said “What? No whipping?
I’ve only had half what I crave!”

Thank you montycrusto for writing actual Limericks with the right stress pattern and everything.

 

[montycrusto]

Visigoth Barb was so sweet,
She had all the Romans beat.
She then joined the Vandals
And stopped wearing sandals
And still kicked their ass in bare feet.

 

[montycrusto]

Now by the Legion she’s caught,
A lesson she’ll harshly be taught.
A rebellion failed
Gets you whipped, fucked and nailed
With a spike up your ass for support.

 

[twonines]

At thirty-four pages
A thread for the sages
It’ll never die
It’s endless says I
This thread never ages

Calamity Barb`s ordeal had begun,
With her naked, staked out in the sun.
The cruel Indian chief,
To the point and quite brief,
Said "Turn her over, this side is done

 

[montycrusto]

When they flipped her face down, the chief cried:
“I think this must be her best side!
Nice shoulders and back,
Two buttocks to smack,
And long hair to pull when I ride!”

 

[twonines]

This is the most accurate critique
We`ve had of Barb all this week.
On that skin so svelte,
The marks of the belt,
Marr her hide, normally so sleek.

 

[montycrusto]

“Get your hands off me, you clown!”
Shouted Barb as the braves tied her down.
But the chief said “Denied;
Tie her legs extra wide,
Big Chief Sitting Duck is in town”

 

[montycrusto]

He lowered his corpulent mass
Down on to the struggling lass,
With his fist in her hair
He fucked her with flair,
Till he squirted his seed in her ass.

 

[montycrusto]

Barb shouted “Get off, it ain’t fair!
Don’t you know I’m a virgin back there!
My little’s too tight,
And it really ain’t right
To go plundering my derrière!”

 

[Barbaria1]

Barb shouted “Get off, it ain’t fair!
Don’t you know I’m a virgin back there!
My little’s too tight,
And it really ain’t right
To go plundering my derrière!”

Geeeez! Monty is on a binge!

 

[montycrusto]

To his tribesmen, Chief Sitting Duck spoke.
“I will send many signals in smoke,
Saying ‘get me more slaves
Who are white girls, my braves,
For their asses are good fun to poke!’”

 

[Barbaria1]

Looks like the whole Indian nation
Is eager for erotic distraction
Barb they’ve done got
Found her quite hot
Time for some good raping action

 

[montycrusto]

...

Geeeez! Monty is on a binge!

I’d binge with you, Barb, any time,
HBO or Amazon Prime,
We could Netflix and chill
Like rabbits until
Our ecstasy approached the Sublime.

 

[twonines]

Monty`s busy polishing his pole,
He thinks he`s right on a roll
He`s showing the signs
Of his evil designs
To take Barb in every hole.

 

[twonines]

Monty and Chief Sitting Duck,
Made Barb submit and fuck.
Tied down and stripped bare,
Is that hardly fair,
It`s really such rotten luck.

 

[twonines]

It`s obvious at a mere glance,
That Barb`s been the victim of chance.
As the sex slave,
Of an Indian brave,
She`s performed the ancient dance.

 

[twonines]

Barb`s new life was far from prosaic,
As a slave, it was cruel and archaic.
Monty lays the lash on,
Forty, save one,
In a fashion characteristically Mosaic