M
montycrusto
Guest
Some say I SHOULD be on fire...
Barbecued on a crude wooden pyre,
Or burnt at the stake,
Only thus could I slake
My detractors’ well justified ire.
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Limericks
- Thread starter windar
- Start date
Barbecued on a crude wooden pyre,
Or burnt at the stake,
Only thus could I slake
My detractors’ well justified ire.
M
montycrusto
Guest
Barb said “well I’m gobsmacked, cor blimey!”
(She had been on a course learning Limey).
She went on: “Stone the crows!
I’ll need British prose,
If a Limey should try me and buy me!”
(She had been on a course learning Limey).
She went on: “Stone the crows!
I’ll need British prose,
If a Limey should try me and buy me!”
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M
montycrusto
Guest
If they write a musical about it, her character will be called Eliza Tightlittle
M
montycrusto
Guest
She said “Cor! ‘ave a butchers at this!
‘E’s got to be takin’ the piss!
This bloke wants a snog,
‘E can flippin’ well jog!
‘Cos I’m Eliza Tightlittle (Miss).”
glossary:
“Cor!” -wow, oh, hey, etc.
‘’Ave a butchers” - have a look
“Takin’ the piss” - joking
“Bloke” - gentleman
“Snog” - kiss
“Flippin’ well” - very much
“Jog” or “jog on” - go away
“‘Cos” - because
‘E’s got to be takin’ the piss!
This bloke wants a snog,
‘E can flippin’ well jog!
‘Cos I’m Eliza Tightlittle (Miss).”
glossary:
“Cor!” -wow, oh, hey, etc.
‘’Ave a butchers” - have a look
“Takin’ the piss” - joking
“Bloke” - gentleman
“Snog” - kiss
“Flippin’ well” - very much
“Jog” or “jog on” - go away
“‘Cos” - because
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Love this!
If they write a musical about it, her character will be called Eliza Tightlittle
I once tried rewriting the song lyrics to My Fair Lady to post on CF, but never completed the task. Think of it. “I’m getting crucified in the morning”, “Get me to the hill on time”, “in the gaol where I wait”, “...
M
montycrusto
Guest
Go for it ...His name was Professor Crusto,
He
I think we have the makings of a (s)hit musical here...!!
M
montycrusto
Guest
His name was Professor Crusto,
He drooled on his slavegirl with lust-o,
Her name was Eliza,
And he loved to chastise her
For treating him with such disgust-o.
He drooled on his slavegirl with lust-o,
Her name was Eliza,
And he loved to chastise her
For treating him with such disgust-o.
M
montycrusto
Guest
The Prof made a bet with his friend:
“I say, I bet you can’t bend
That wench to your will,
Even one with your skill!”
Said the Prof: “To succeed, I intend!”
“I say, I bet you can’t bend
That wench to your will,
Even one with your skill!”
Said the Prof: “To succeed, I intend!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
Crusto resolved at all cost,
That his wager would not be lost.
“I’m tired of lost causes,
I’ll use whips and tawses
To show the bitch I’ll not be crossed!”
That his wager would not be lost.
“I’m tired of lost causes,
I’ll use whips and tawses
To show the bitch I’ll not be crossed!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
To a punishment frame she was bound,
In his sex-dungeon deep underground..
Eliza said “Cor!
Looks like I’m done for!
This bloke’s off his nut, and unsound!”
In his sex-dungeon deep underground..
Eliza said “Cor!
Looks like I’m done for!
This bloke’s off his nut, and unsound!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
The Professor said “Now, dear Eliza,
Have you learned, or are you none the wiser?
Of your scorn get a grip
Or you’ll get lots of whip
With electrodes as incentivizer!”
Have you learned, or are you none the wiser?
Of your scorn get a grip
Or you’ll get lots of whip
With electrodes as incentivizer!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
“You’ll see, once these wires are connected,
How your attitude will be corrected.
A flick of this switch
Turns you into my bitch,
At least, if it works as expected!”
How your attitude will be corrected.
A flick of this switch
Turns you into my bitch,
At least, if it works as expected!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
She said “Lawks a-mercy! Stone me!
Don’t hit me sir, a good girl I’ll be!
Your rules I will follow,
I’ll suck and I’ll swallow,
I’ll be a good slave girl, you’ll see!”
Don’t hit me sir, a good girl I’ll be!
Your rules I will follow,
I’ll suck and I’ll swallow,
I’ll be a good slave girl, you’ll see!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
The prof said “Enough of your lies!
You are clearly the sort who denies
Her submissive side,
And attempts to hide
Her true nature from masculine eyes!”
You are clearly the sort who denies
Her submissive side,
And attempts to hide
Her true nature from masculine eyes!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
As he spoke, he began to thrash
The girl’s tits with a long leather lash.
“You damned well should
See it’s for your own good:
A Phoenix will rise from this ash!”
The girl’s tits with a long leather lash.
“You damned well should
See it’s for your own good:
A Phoenix will rise from this ash!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
Eliza screamed “Ow! Not me tits!
They’re quite my most sensitive bits!
Oh take me to bed,
And fuck me instead,
This whipping’s no fun; it’s the pits!”
They’re quite my most sensitive bits!
Oh take me to bed,
And fuck me instead,
This whipping’s no fun; it’s the pits!”
M
montycrusto
Guest
Once assured that her tits really smarted,
He made sure her cunt lips were parted.
As he put in his thumb
He admonished “ Come, come,
You must realise we’ve only just started!”
He made sure her cunt lips were parted.
As he put in his thumb
He admonished “ Come, come,
You must realise we’ve only just started!”