Limericks

[montycrusto]

It's very nearly here.
The brutal slaying of King Lear.
I'll start posting tomorrow,
With much mirth and no sorrow,
And many a bitter sweet tear.

Cry Havoc! And let slip
Limericks from the bard’s lip,
Though verse in torrents
May cause abhorrence
It’s totally cool and hip.

 

[Davec5299]

I've got the writers' curse,
Revisiting each sodding verse.
So it's time to end it,
Before I send it
To Hell or something much worse.

 

[twonines]

Something odd has now come to pass,
With Limericks appearing en masse,
This thread seems deranged,
Its subject has changed,
It`s normally Barb`s tight little ass!

 

[montycrusto]

To the beleaguered city of Tyre,
Barb offered her service for hire.
But the great city fell,
And Barb didn’t fare well:
She was nailed to a cross to expire.

 

[montycrusto]

Her foe, Alexander the Great,
Came by to observe her fate.
Her agonised dance
On the cross did entrance
Him moore than I care to relate.

 

[twonines]

That really was tempting fate,
Taking on Alexander the Great.
Stripped and paraded,
Her orifices invaded,
On the cross, she became Barbara the Late.

 

[twonines]

Not a fate to which one would aspire,
Being nailed to a cross in Tyre.
But it came to pass,
When she gave Alex some sass
And after he set her tight little on fire.

 

[twonines]

When Alexander ruled Macedonia,
If annoyed, he didn`t just phone ya.
Barbara rebelled,
Her resistance was quelled,
And she certainly didn`t die of pneumonia.

 

[montycrusto]

Barb fought for beleaguered Phoenicians,
Against the invasions of Grecians.
She charged with a howl,
Using language most foul,
Which I can’t use for fear of deletions.

 

[twonines]

In those ancient historical times,
Barb`s acts could be construed as crimes.
Each episode gets rougher,
Progressively tougher,
But makes a wonderful subject for rhymes.

 

[twonines]

Barb stowed away when she didn`t oughter
And the pirates very soon caught her.
For the rations she`d eaten,
She had to be beaten,
So now, she`s kissing the gunner`s daughter.

 

[twonines]

The captain decided a stern message to send,
Over a cannon poor Barb must bend.
To make it severe,
Across her bare rear,
Three dozen with the rope`s end.

 

[twonines]

So the stowaway, Barbara Moore,
Got her comeuppance for sure.
Laying on with a will,
And no little skill,
The bosun left her bleeding and raw.

 

[twonines]

A young lady from Stockton-on-Tees,
Was usually found on her knees.
Rather than fuck,
She preferred to suck,
And could always swallow with ease.

 

[twonines]

A man with a large penis, from Pinner,
Sometimes wished it was thinner.
He met a gal from Nantucket,
Who had a cunt like a bucket,
And realised he was onto a winner.

 

[montycrusto]

When @windar started this thread,
He hoped it would swiftly drop dead.
Despite all his hopes,
It’s not yet on the ropes;
The lyrical muse has not fled.

 

[Barbaria1]

@windar is his CF name
Caning Barb is his game
He plays her tight little
Like a fine tuned fiddle
Earning him everlasting fame

 

[twonines]

Windar`s urges are unrestrained,
When on Barb his focus is trained.
Her tight little tush,
Is so pristine and lush,
And simply crying out to be caned.

 

[windar]

Almost 2k in this thread
That could well have ended up dead
But for those poets so fine
Monty and twonines
Their rhymes hit the nail on the head

 

[windar]

With limericks some are carried away
Rhyming day after day
And now I do hear
Someone's tackling King Lear
The whole fricking Shakespearean play!!!