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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Praefectus Praetorio said:
As a golfer who often duck-hooks deep into the woods (it gets expensive at a dollar a ball), this struck close to home.

A man was enjoying a round of golf in Ireland. On the fourth hole, a long par 5, he duck-hooked his ball into the woods off the fairway. He walked to the point where he estimated his ball went in and began to search for his ball. He walked into a small clearing and saw a small man all dressed in green unconscious on the ground, with a golf ball beside him. He picked up the ball and knew that he had struck the unfortunate little man. He then bent down and gave him a shake to wake him up at which time the little man came to and exclaimed, “You got me fair and square. I suppose you’ll be looking for your pot of gold or three wishes or whatever. “ The golfer simply apologized for hitting him with his golf ball and asked if he was okay. The little man said that he was and so the golfer took his ball back to the fairway, did a drop, and carried on with his round.

Meanwhile, the little man said to himself, “Well, THAT’S a real gentleman. I’m going to give him three things as a reward. First, henceforth he will be the best golfer in all of Ireland. Second, he will never want for money again, and finally, from now on he will have the best sex life a man could ask for.”

Fast-forward one year and the golfer is back on the same golf course, playing a round. Once again, on the fourth hole, he duck-hooks his shot into the woods. As he enters the woods he again spots the little man, all dressed in green. He exclaims, “I know you!” and the little man replies “I know you too.”

The little man asks the golfer “How’s your golf game?” and the golfer replies, “This hole notwithstanding, I am the best golfer in all of Ireland. I am even playing on the PGA Tour.” The little man says, “I did that for you!”

Then the little man asks, “How’re you fixed for cash?” and the golfer replies, “It’s the strangest thing. Whenever I need money, I just reach into my pocket and I always have enough!” The little man says, “I did that for you, as well.”

The little man then asks, “How’s your sex life?” and the golfer replies with a bit of embarrassment, “I’d rather not talk about that.” Whereupon the little man says, “C’mon, I gotta know, did I do a good job? How often are you getting it?” The golfer then sheepishly admits, “If you must know, once or twice a week.”

The little man exclaims, “Once or twice a week? THAT’S ALL?”

The golfer replies, “Well, that’s not bad for a Priest in a small parish!”
Click to expand...
A dollar a ball?:eek:
That explains the following:
Q: What the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
A: A man will spend an hour trying to find a golf ball.
:rimshot:
 
More golf humor:
A Lutheran and a Catholic are out golfing together near a valley. They are going about their own business when they notice a funeral procession at the bottom of the valley.

The Lutheran states “Oh, a funeral” and pays no more mind to it.

The Catholic, however, takes his hat off, bows, and waits in silence until the procession passes.

The Lutheran tells the Catholic. “I love the way Catholics treat funerals. They show the utmost respect towards the dead.”

The Catholic responds, “Well, it’s the least I could do. After all, I WAS married to her for 47 years.”
 
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Was she wearing her Freudian slip?
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erm . . speaking of big breasts
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You never know your luck
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One for the early medievalists
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One for the classicists
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dad joke
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