captivecuties
Senator
It’s a short flick but has one hell of an ending!
-
Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.
Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
- Start date
It’s a short flick but has one hell of an ending!
captivecuties
Senator
Ever notice that saying “Have a nice day“ sounds much less threatening than “Enjoy the next 24 hours”?
sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
Help! I'm trying to reconnect to the site
and failing utterly! I've tried everything!
Can anybody help!!
Yours, desparatley!!
sympazero
and failing utterly! I've tried everything!
Can anybody help!!
Yours, desparatley!!
sympazero
Tree thinks you succeeded...
He has finally found the place where she likes to be held
But her mother must never find out about it
twonines
LIMERICUS
It`s usually, "If I was her mother I`d take the strap to her." but a seven pound hammer is a bit over the top.
captivecuties
Senator
I’ll never understand guys who pay a dominatrix to degrade them…
Just get married and fold the towels wrong once, dude.
Just get married and fold the towels wrong once, dude.
poem21045
Tribunus Plebis
Naraku
Draconarius
captivecuties
Senator
Remember to compliment the fat girls at the gym.
They will remember you when they get fit.
They will remember you when they get fit.
And if you don't aim well, you should be careful of flying plates and the rolling pin.
Naraku
Draconarius
For those outside of Florida, The Villages is a massive retirement community in Central Florida. It has a population of 81,444; 98% white and a median age of 67.4. Its one of the main reason Florida went to Trump twice and is being turned into a fascist dictatorship.
But that's not what this is about.
Its about the personal adds that appear in the local newspaper.
*FOXY LADY*
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus
---------------------------
* LONG-TERM COMMITMENT*
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband.
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem.
---------------------------
*SERENITY NOW*
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take out our hearing aids and enjoy quiet times.
---------------------------
*WINNING SMILE *
Active grandmother with original teeth, seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
---------------------------
* MEMORIES *
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
--------------------------
*MINT CONDITION *
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
But that's not what this is about.
Its about the personal adds that appear in the local newspaper.
*FOXY LADY*
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus
---------------------------
* LONG-TERM COMMITMENT*
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband.
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem.
---------------------------
*SERENITY NOW*
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take out our hearing aids and enjoy quiet times.
---------------------------
*WINNING SMILE *
Active grandmother with original teeth, seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
---------------------------
* MEMORIES *
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
--------------------------
*MINT CONDITION *
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
Naraku
Draconarius
More tales of The Villages:
A lady in The Villages, in Florida (a senior retirement community), was sitting on a bench, near another bench where a gentleman was sitting. She asked him if he was new to the community and he said, “No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".
She said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!"
He said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"
She was stunned, and finally asked him what he had done.
He said that he had murdered his first wife!
She was stunned again, and after a long pause she said:
“So, you're SINGLE???”
A lady in The Villages, in Florida (a senior retirement community), was sitting on a bench, near another bench where a gentleman was sitting. She asked him if he was new to the community and he said, “No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".
She said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!"
He said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"
She was stunned, and finally asked him what he had done.
He said that he had murdered his first wife!
She was stunned again, and after a long pause she said:
“So, you're SINGLE???”
captivecuties
Senator
An old man and an old woman were sitting next to each other at a retirement home.
The man said to the woman, “Guess how old I am.”
The woman put her hand under his lap blanket at played around with his cock and balls.
”You‘re 93”’ she said.
”That’s amazing” he exclaimed.”You can tell my age by playing with my cock and balls?”
“No” she said “You asked me that same question four times in the last half hour.”
The man said to the woman, “Guess how old I am.”
The woman put her hand under his lap blanket at played around with his cock and balls.
”You‘re 93”’ she said.
”That’s amazing” he exclaimed.”You can tell my age by playing with my cock and balls?”
“No” she said “You asked me that same question four times in the last half hour.”
Crux-Emperor Baracus X
Rectidolor
And here you can see why selfies are essential to survival. The bears wanted to be in the picture and then they forgot what they actually wanted to do here!
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
When the bear on the right saw the picture, she ate the tourists after all, pissed off because of the blurring backlight behind her.
captivecuties
Senator
People should walk a mile in my shoes.
That way, they‘d be a mile away.
That way, they‘d be a mile away.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
But your shoes will be gone!
