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The Olympic Crux

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I thought training went good today, but Jollyrei, and Sir Wragg did not, and decided that Barb needed a little enticing to do better tomorrow.
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Mind you, we should probably take her down to get a bit of sleep. She's supposed to be able to endure on the cross, so total exhaustion is likely not good discipline either.
 
Life for Barb is about to become a living hell when Joan shows up. As bad as the corral was it gets worse. The next day Barb is crowned with thorns and is whipped. A rope is tied around her neck and long heavy wet Missouri red cedar log is slammed across her shoulders and her arms are bound to it. Joan shoots her with a dart and says “Your party is over Barb. Are you up for a four hour hike?”

“No” I answer honestly. Joan ties the rope tied to my neck to the saddle horn and mounts up. She turns to me and says “You get an hour to carry your cross to the mound about a half-mile in the games. Today you get four hours to carry that beam four miles and it weighs only a bit more than half what your cross will. It’s not a fast walk, Barb. Don’t be a pussy.”

She spurs the horse and it is truly a slow walk- unless you have sixty pounds of cedar on your back.

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The next day would be no better. This time Joan, Siss, and friends make me carry an aged cross beam from The Hill of 100 Crosses™ over hot rock sands for a distance I don’t even know. My feet burn on the sand and stones and cacti thorns stab the soles of my feet. I curse Joan Tree which only encourages her while Siss implores me to shut up. It's easy for her to say. She isn't wear a fucking loincloth lined with a plastic trash bag!!!
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I don’t even know if I am in the States much less what state. We get to wherever the fuck they are bringing me and I find a cross standing there. It’s made of that premium wood but it is weathered, blood-stained, and not very tall. Siss whispers to me almost reverently “It’s from The Hill of 100 Crosses™ from 2013. They had to cut the bottom off because it rotted in the ground at the Tree estate.”

“What is it here for?” I ask in the same whisper. I feel like an idiot. If you ever watch golf on TV the commentators always whisper when someone is putting even though they are a half mile from the green in an air-conditioned portable studio and I sound just like those assholes.

“Barb, we’re going to tie you to it and you have to hang there for three days” she explains. She’s my coach so I go along with it. When they finish my feet are only a foot above the ground. It may have well been Eul’s 30 meters. I ask Siss if she is going to stay with me. She gently kisses my tumescent… my nipples and says “Sorry, Barb, but Joan and I have things to ‘discuss’.

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It doesn’t take long before things start becoming surreal in the heat.

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I think I should have done my thesis on the mating habits of the Northwest Arkansas tree frog…

-Barb

Tree
 
Meanwhile, in Transylvania, Rumania, the Countess announces "As you know you are here to drained of your blood for my bathing and drinking pleasure. I am offering one of you the opportunity to live by competing in the Olympic Crux Games. But be warned if you do not have a podium finish when you return here there will be a very special punishment."
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That should be all the training she would need...
 
As the seeding event approaches much activity picks up. THT Inc. is making a small fortune training contests. While (or perhaps because) Tree is an All-American he is capitalist willing to train any Olympic athlete for the right price. The newest arrivals are the two women from Transylvania. One speaks broken English while the other is almost fluent but has a bit of difficulty understanding Tree. They arrive wearing rather prim skirts and (very) tight white fitted blouses with black flats on their feet which Tree has liked since his Catholic schooldays. Upon seeing them he pours a drink, lights a cigarette, and says “Strip!”

“What do you mean ‘strip’, sir?” the one who speaks the better English.

“It means take your clothes off” Tree says. They slowly strip the blouses, skirts, and shoes. Tree says “I said take your clothes off” as he looked at the two woman. The one that barely speaks English says something to the one that does. They both glare at Tree.

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“My lover wants to know why we have to be naked.”

“Listen, you have two weeks to get ready for the seeding event and you ain’t going to be wearing clothing there” Tree says.

“We don’t need to train. If we don’t win a medal the Countess will find a new way to drain our blood” she says.

“Look, I got paid to train you so you are going to train whether you want to or not. I’ve got ask two questions. Have you been coerced to enter the games and have you taken any performance enhancing drugs?” Tree asks.

“We were offered not having our blood drained so the countess can drink or bath in it if we medal so we trade certain death for a chance at freedom” the sandy blond replies. “Is that being ‘coerced’?”

“Fuck if I know” Tree replies. He asks again about the PEDs. She replies that there is no need drugs when one can make passionate love. Tree makes another drink…



Tree
 
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