The Olympic Crux

[Barbaria1]

Meanwhile Thessela is training harder than she thought she could. The weather was warming up and she found carrying the training cross around was a little hard on her system. The Canadian press was keen to see who their new star athlete was and sent a reporter to interview her. They followed her around the track asking her questions about the training and her hopes for the competition.

"So, Ms. Thessela, how are you finding the training so far? Do you think you have a shot at a podium finish?"​

Her responses demonstrated her total focus and dedication:

Thessela: (puff, puff)​

The country was almost certain to be behind her all the way.

Almost immediately, she was asked to do her first big product endorsement with one of Canada's leading sport clothing firms to promote a new line in athletic crux loincloths.
View attachment 382623
Every girl in Canada is going to want a beaver down...
"Hey!"



Still, it's easy to get distracted by all the glamour associated with being an Olympic athlete. We do need to keep focus on key training elements. For example, how well does she take pain? Probably not that well. We'll have to do some training to build up her pain threshold.

"Pain!? Oh!" - Thessela

It's a tough competition and practice makes perfect. Let's see. We can't actually nail you to anything until the event. It's a tricky thing.

If Thessela and the Canadians can do it, so can I ... here I am modelling my own sport designer line.

 

[thehangingtree]

Meanwhile suffering the setback of Jollyrei’s sudden departure (and the vast knowledge of the team’s training regiment) combined with the utterly compliant newfound ‘Canadian’ slave Thessela causes concern within American Gold camp. Despard reluctantly allows Ms. Moore to interview T. H. Tree. What Barb doesn’t know is…

View attachment 382624 Set for 9 am tomorrow .... Be there!!! And don't forget to bring your resume and credentials ... I am a very tough interviewer ...

“I want this bitch to suffer. Can you believe she fired me and wants to hire my brother?” Joan demands.

View attachment 382625 At last I got her goat .... doing victory laps tonight!!!!!

I have to interview for a job crucifying women? What the fuck has the world come to? I get my issue of Hot Rod magazine the first week of June and it says it’s the August edition. Car & Driver reviews fucking self-driving cars… where the hell is the 'driver'?

I have to fix the Mustang…

…and now I have to interview for the damn job…

Tree is confused…

Tree

 

[Barbaria1]

I have to interview for a job crucifying women? What the fuck has the world come to? I get my issue of Hot Rod magazine the first week of June and it says it’s the August edition. Car & Driver reviews fucking self-driving cars… where the hell is the 'driver'?

I have to fix the Mustang…

…and now I have to interview for the damn job…

Tree is confused…

Tree

Stop whining and get your ass moving ... I want you here on the dot!

 

[thehangingtree]

View attachment 382627 Stop whining and get your ass moving ... I want you here on the dot!

'On' or 'in' the 'dot'????

 

[Jollyrei]

Madiosi and Porzia are very quiet lately. That probably isn't good news. What's the Italo-German team up to?

We'd better train through the night, Thess.

 

[thehangingtree]

Madiosi and Porzia are very quiet lately. That probably isn't good news. What's the Italo-German team up to?

We'd better train through the night, Thess.
View attachment 382628

He is a tough task manager!!!

I'm not sure this 'Thessela' is really a Canadian... I'm just saying what I read...

Next he'll say I'm not a woman!!!

 

[Barbaria1]

He is a tough task manager!!!

I'm not sure this 'Thessela' is really a Canadian... I'm just saying what I read...
View attachment 382630
Next he'll say I'm not a woman!!!
View attachment 382629

 

[Barbaria1]

Madiosi and Porzia are very quiet lately. That probably isn't good news. What's the Italo-German team up to?

We'd better train through the night, Thess.
View attachment 382628

Looks like a clear cool Canadian night. Sleep well Thess.

 

[Thessela]

Meanwhile Thessela is training harder than she thought she could.

Her responses demonstrated her total focus and dedication:

Thessela: (puff, puff)​

The country was almost certain to be behind her all the way.

Every girl in Canada is going to want a beaver down...
"Hey!"

Why is everyone staring at my beaver?

It's hard being Canadian.
But everyone is so nice

I'm not sure this 'Thessela' is really a Canadian... I'm just saying what I read...

Jolly! Quick.
I need to know more about being Canadian!

 

[Jollyrei]

Why is everyone staring at my beaver?

Because it's so stylish...and green.

It's hard being Canadian.
But everyone is so nice

Jolly! Quick.
I need to know more about being Canadian!

We are a nice bunch, yes.
Let's see. It's pretty simple. You eat bacon, put maple syrup on pretty much everything, avoid the moose on the roads, and say "eh" after almost every sentence, eh. When in doubt, say "sorry", even if you're not wrong. If you have to stop being polite, for just a minute, eh, that's when you pull out the hockey stick. It's like a symbol, eh.
We'll be lucky if the damn Beaver doesn't chew down the cross to build a dam.
(What? Oh, right. Not "that" type of Beaver. )

 

[RacingRodent]

It's hard being Canadian.
But everyone is so nice
I need to know more about being Canadian!

Actually as I understand it the Canadians let almost anyone in, though they get stroppy about 29 old teens
They are really nice
So unlike Americans are not obsessed about you knowing everything about them straight away.
After that just sit back and enjoy the awesome eh.

Hum thinking about it I may need to play the whole "I have family in Canada" card myself soon.

 

[Barbaria1]

Because it's so stylish...and green.

We are a nice bunch, yes.
Let's see. It's pretty simple. You eat bacon, put maple syrup on pretty much everything, avoid the moose on the roads, and say "eh" after almost every sentence, eh. When in doubt, say "sorry", even if you're not wrong. If you have to stop being polite, for just a minute, eh, that's when you pull out the hockey stick. It's like a symbol, eh.
We'll be lucky if the damn Beaver doesn't chew down the cross to build a dam.
(What? Oh, right. Not "that" type of Beaver. )

Sounds an awful lot like s Minnesotan

Did somebody move the border?

Or if the Donald wins, will somebody please move the border!

 

[thehangingtree]

Because it's so stylish...and green.

We are a nice bunch, yes.
Let's see. It's pretty simple. You eat bacon, put maple syrup on pretty much everything, avoid the moose on the roads, and say "eh" after almost every sentence, eh. When in doubt, say "sorry", even if you're not wrong. If you have to stop being polite, for just a minute, eh, that's when you pull out the hockey stick. It's like a symbol, eh.
We'll be lucky if the damn Beaver doesn't chew down the cross to build a dam.
(What? Oh, right. Not "that" type of Beaver. )

Jolly, I believe the beaver she is referring to is her fine 'pelt' of her loins...

 

[Barbaria1]

Jolly, I believe the beaver she is referring to is her fine 'pelt' of her loins...

You mean it could be something else? That's what I thought she meant in the first place

 

[RacingRodent]

You mean it could be something else? That's what I thought she meant in the first place

We're all eager for Thess's beaver

 

[Barbaria1]

It's 9 am and he is late. I sit behind my desk fuming, staring angrily at the empty chair facing me on the other side.

I am already dressed for my daily time when I hang for several hours on the cross. I am wearing my little stars and stripes string kini, and a loose white shirt, carelessly buttoned, to cover my otherwise naked torso.

It's not until 9:40 that he comes sauntering in and plops himself in the chair, immediately shaking out a cigarette from a crumpled Marlboro pack.

"Put that obscene thing away!" I growl at him.

He looks down at his fly, then a flicker of comprehension crosses his unshaven face and he sheepishly returns the cigarette to its pack. Not too quick this early in the morning, I think, making a mental note of the deficiency.

"Let me see your credentials, please," I say, striking a more moderate tone.

"Yes, ma'am," he drawls, pulling a folded sheet from under his battered and stained yellow hat with a THT emblazoned on the front, a hat by the way that he has not bothered to doff in my presence.

"OK, I see here that you are a "master of crucifixion", and that title is certified by a union membership card, which also shows you as the chief officer of the organization that certifies you ... charter member, no less. Should I be impressed? That sounds awfully incestuous. Do you have any other credentials?

He reaches into his back pocket and plops three sharpened nails on my desk.

"What more do you need?" he asks, yawning.

"OK, I believe you. You obviously know how to erect a cross and nail me to it. How many times have you done this in the past ... rough estimate is fine."

He moves his mouth as though he is mentally counting. I wait. And I wait some more. Finally he says, "I lost count back in the summer of 2013 when some crazy bitch crashed the site and destroyed all record of my crucifixions that summer."

"Wasn't me," I reply, quickly changing the subject, "Do you have any other useful skills?'

"Two," he says.

"What are they?"

"Well, first of all I am an attorney."

"What is your won-lost record?"

He moves his mouth again as though he is mentally counting.

"Does that include "almost" winning?"

"No, just a simple won-lost is what I am looking for."

"Ummm, I don't think I have saved anyone from being convicted and crucified. Admi is a tough judge you have to understand, especially when the moon is full."

"Alright, what is your other skill?"

"You should know already"

"I really don't"

"You had a lot of wine, but think back to that night at the Tree House ... think back to what happened in the bedroom."

"Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!" I exclaimed blushing, "You're hired!"

"Knew that would do the trick," he chuckled as he rose and extended a hand, rough and calloused from much hard work, for me to shake.

"When can you start," I ask.

"Soon as I can assemble my crew."

"Wait a minute, what crew? I already have two on the team, Hondo and Phlebas, and Siss as my mentor."

"Well, no problem, my crew will work behind the scenes."

"And who are these other guys you work with?

"They go by Bull and Gunner."

"Oh Shit!!!!"

 

[thehangingtree]

It's 9 am and he is late. I sit behind my desk fuming, staring angrily at the empty chair facing me on the other side.

View attachment 382641 I am already dressed for my daily time when I hang for several hours on the cross. I am wearing my little stars and stripes string kini, and a loose white shirt, carelessly buttoned, to cover my otherwise naked torso.

It's not until 9:40 that he comes sauntering in and plops himself in the chair, immediately shaking out a cigarette from a crumpled Marlboro pack.

"Put that obscene thing away!" I growl at him.

He looks down at his fly, then a flicker of comprehension crosses his unshaven face and he sheepishly returns the cigarette to its pack. Not too quick this early in the morning, I think, making a mental note of the deficiency.

"Let me see your credentials, please," I say, striking a more moderate tone.

"Yes, ma'am," he drawls, pulling a folded sheet from under his battered and stained yellow hat with a THT emblazoned on the front, a hat by the way that he has not bothered to doff in my presence.

"OK, I see here that you are a "master of crucifixion", and that title is certified by a union membership card, which also shows you as the chief officer of the organization that certifies you ... charter member, no less. Should I be impressed? That sounds awfully incestuous. Do you have any other credentials?

He reaches into his back pocket and plops three sharpened nails on my desk.

"What more do you need?" he asks, yawning.

"OK, I believe you. You obviously know how to erect a cross and nail me to it. How many times have you done this in the past ... rough estimate is fine."

He moves his mouth as though he is mentally counting. I wait. And I wait some more. Finally he says, "I lost count back in the summer of 2013 when some crazy bitch crashed the site and destroyed all record of my crucifixions that summer."

"Wasn't me," I reply, quickly changing the subject, "Do you have any other useful skills?'

"Two," he says.

"What are they?"

"Well, first of all I am an attorney."

"What is your won-lost record?"

He moves his mouth again as though he is mentally counting.

"Does that include "almost" winning?"

"No, just a simple won-lost is what I am looking for."

"Ummm, I don't think I have saved anyone from being convicted and crucified. Admi is a tough judge you have to understand, especially when the moon is full."

"Alright, what is your other skill?"

"You should know already"

"I really don't"

"You had a lot of wine, but think back to that night at the Tree House ... think back to what happened in the bedroom."

"Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!" I exclaimed blushing, "You're hired!"

"Knew that would do the trick," he chuckled as he rose and extended a hand, rough and calloused from much hard work, for me to shake.

"When can you start," I ask.

"Soon as I can assemble my crew."

"Wait a minute, what crew? I already have two on the team, Hondo and Phlebas, and Siss as my mentor."

"Well, no problem, my crew will work behind the scenes."

"And who are these other guys you work with?

"They go by Bull and Gunner."

"Oh Shit!!!!"

Mind you as union members THT and Co. cannot do the actual crucifixion (since it is an amateur event) and by the looks of this dame Hondo, Phlebas, and Siss seem to be doing a good job training her.

Since the qualifying session is less than two weeks away I recommend she maintains her training routine as is until after that event. Then I say to her "Strip."

"WHAT?"

"I said 'strip' as in get naked- now- so I can see what kind of shape you are in."

This is so humiliating... -Barb



Tree

I thought the interview went well...

Good retelling, Barb!!!

 

[thehangingtree]

It was an interesting interview with Barbara Moore. I must admit she looks damn fine.



My only concern is that she needs to pack on a few more pounds of fat. She objects asking me if I just like well-rounded women. I explain to her to win the gold she will certainly have to last at least well into third day and while muscle tone is important she will easily drop whatever weight she puts on and fat burns of faster than muscle. She asks me what is involved with the qualifying event. I regret that I can’t tell her.

I can tell you about it and be sure not to share this with the athletes!!! As explained earlier the qualifying sessions will be held in climate controlled rooms that would be kept at 120°F (almost 49°C) with the relative humidity between 5 and 7%. The lighting in the windowless would such to stimulate day and night but will actually be shorter in transitions to mentally cause the illusion to the athletes that more time has passed than actually had. This, combined with the lack of food and water, will cause capitulation sooner.

Also there will be dividers so the women can hear but not see their competition. To expedite the event all the athletes will have their wrists bound to cross no narrower than 20°above horizontal as the tighter the ‘V’ of the arms the less stress it puts on her chest and the easier it is to breathe.

I have to call Phlebas, Hondo, and Siss to discuss strategy…

Tree

 

[Barbaria1]

It was an interesting interview with Barbara Moore. I must admit she looks damn fine.

View attachment 382650

My only concern is that she needs to pack on a few more pounds of fat. She objects asking me if I just like well-rounded women. I explain to her to win the gold she will certainly have to last at least well into third day and while muscle tone is important she will easily drop whatever weight she puts on and fat burns of faster than muscle. She asks me what is involved with the qualifying event. I regret that I can’t tell her.

I can tell you about it and be sure not to share this with the athletes!!! As explained earlier the qualifying sessions will be held in climate controlled rooms that would be kept at 120°F (almost 49°C) with the relative humidity between 5 and 7%. The lighting in the windowless would such to stimulate day and night but will actually be shorter in transitions to mentally cause the illusion to the athletes that more time has passed than actually had. This, combined with the lack of food and water, will cause capitulation sooner.

Also there will be dividers so the women can hear but not see their competition. To expedite the event all the athletes will have their wrists bound to cross no narrower than 20°above horizontal as the tighter the ‘V’ of the arms the less stress it puts on her chest and the easier it is to breathe.

I have to call Phlebas, Hondo, and Siss to discuss strategy…

Tree

49 C!!!! ... sounds like Missouri ... could be Missouri if the humidity was 90% rather than 5-7 ... but this is hot and dry ... what are the rules for hydration ... am I allowed to drink anything?

 

[thehangingtree]

49 C!!!! ... sounds like Missouri ... could be Missouri if the humidity was 90% rather than 5-7 ... but this is hot and dry ... what are the rules for hydration ... am I allowed to drink anything?

No hydration. It will be like downtown LA when the Santa Ana winds come in from the east. More to be explained soon!!!

But this just in!!!


Barb has a day off from training and catches up with her mail. She opens a letter from the University of Virgin Martyrs and cannot believe what she reads:

Ms. Barbara Moore,

You have been requested for a crucifixion demonstration by guest Professor Joan Tree. Your training team has approved the visit. Your failure to appear will result in the termination of your Doctorate Studies will be terminated.

Sincerely,

Despard Wragg

Chancellor Emeritus- University of the Virgin Martyrs

CC: Hondo, Phlebas, Siss

Barb looks at the round trip airline ticket enclosed with letter. Tomorrow!



“What the fuck is this about?” I say to myself! Siss walks in and I angrily say “Did you approve this crap?”

“Yeah I did! Come on it’s time for you next training session.”

She leads me to a stifling hot room and fastens my wrist into leather cuffs then using a block and tackle hoists me off the floor.



“I know about you and Ulrika. Do good at the UVM and I might forgive you, slut” she says.

-Barb

…I think Siss is pissed off at Barb!!!



Tree