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Traffic Violation Saturday

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Drinking Belgian Beer ice cold? Nooo! Ideal is 5 to 8 °C.:oops:
That makes me think! Why not putting advertisement on the crosses in the park? :rolleyes:
Barb suffering in the heat, next to advertisement for a refreshing beverage!:cool:

There is a sign in the lower left part of the picture this story is based on that gives credit to the crucifixion sponsors - Phill's Auto, Bode's Cafe, and Wagner's Lumber & Hardware. So that's not too far-fetched.
 

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I'm thinking of Melissa McCarthy channeling Sean Spicer...



Is there an age limit? I think the older ladies if they haven't learned to drive properly should be up there just like the younger ones.
Apropos to this discussion is an old cartoon by the late American cartoonist Jim Berry. Two very elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench watching two lightly clad 20-somethings jog by.
One says, "When I had it, they wouldn't let us flaunt it!"
 
Traffic Violation Saturday ... Part 3

All eyes were on me as the Mayor began speaking. I could tell he was annoyed because he kept glancing over his shoulder and scowling at me. Each time he would raise his voice a little more in order to be heard above the catcalls, whistles and clapping, and resume his speech ... which droned on and on in an orgy of self-congratulatory oratory about the efficacy of public crucifatory humiliation as a meaningful deterrent to traffic offenses by young women.

Then things got worse. I suddenly developed a muscle spasm in my back and began to frantically gyrate and writhe about on my cross, in addition to howling like a wounded banshee.

Eager to get a better view, reporters and onlookers alike crowded forward, edging around and past a sputtering Mayor and his official party. In a matter of seconds the Mayor was speaking to empty space.

I must have been putting on quite a show, dancing naked in the blazing sun ...bathed in sweat, muscles rippling, breasts bouncing and swaying from side to side. So wild were my frenzied movements that my cross was shaking and creaking.

In the end the Mayor had little choice but to give in to the lurid spectacle taking place behind his back. With a sigh of exasperation and a maliciously resentful look in his eyes, he turned around to watch, the text of his unfinished speech crumpled in the fist of his right hand.

Then, as quickly as it had come on, the muscle spasms in my back eased. Relieved of acute stress, I slumped down to a limp hang ... panting and shaking from my exertions. I thought for a moment I was going to pass out.

But in an attempt to save the situation for his boss, the Mayor's aide announced to the media that the time had come to ask any questions they might have. Their immediate response was to raise their microphones and recorders, not to the Mayor, but toward me, and begin glamoring for my attention.

"Ummmm ... Ms. Moore ... can you tell us what moving violation got you a sentence of six hours of public humiliation in the park?" asked an earnest looking female reporter.

"I think my skirt was too short ..."

"Ms. Moore! Lupus Blitzer here, CNN. Do you feel humiliated hanging up there naked like that with everyone staring at ... ummmm .... your .... ummm ... at your ... ummmm ....well you know?"

"You mean my bare tits and ass? Stupid question. ... duh ... how do you think I feel?"

"Ms. Moore! Reilly Harrass, Fox News. If I might say so, I think you have lovely tits and a delightfully tight little ass!"

"What's your question?"

"Ms. Moore! T.H.Tree, Nailus Martyrs News Service. I've heard that crucifixion can be an erotically stimulating experience. Tell me, are you wet? How was it? Would you care to comment?"

"Go back in your cave!"

At that point the Mayor's aide intervened, brusquely informing everyone that Q and A time was over. It was four pm, he said, and I had served my sentence. Everyone had to stand back so that the police officers and matrons could get me down.

The two matrons arrived carrying a stretcher. While one officer mounted a wooden box to release my wrists from the crossbeam, the other caught me as I collapsed into his arms. My ankles were swiftly untied and I was lowered carefully onto the waiting stretcher to be carried away, the box containing my clothing nestled between my feet.

"Where are they taking her?" A reporter called out as the stretcher was lifted from the ground.

"To the courthouse," answered the frumpy-looking matron. "The Mayor is having her arrested again, this time it's a misdemeanor charge for public indecency and wantonly disrespectful obstruction of an official civic event ... Judge Hickcox presiding.
 
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Traffic Violation Saturday ... Part 3

All eyes were on me as the Mayor began speaking. I could tell he was annoyed because he kept glancing over his shoulder and scowling at me. Each time he would raise his voice a little more in order to be heard above the catcalls, whistles and clapping, and resume his speech ... which droned on and on in an orgy of self-congratulatory oratory about the efficacy of public crucifatory humiliation as a meaningful deterrent to traffic offenses by young women.

Then things got worse. I suddenly developed a muscle spasm in my back and began to frantically gyrate and writhe about on my cross, in addition to howling like a wounded banshee.

Eager to get a better view reporters and onlookers alike crowded forward, around and past a sputtering mayor and his official party. In a matter of seconds the Mayor was speaking to empty space.

I must have been putting on quite a show, dancing naked in the blazing sun ...bathed in sweat, muscles rippling, my breasts bouncing and swaying from side to side. So wild were my frenzied movements that my cross was shaking and creaking.

In the end the Mayor had little choice but to give in to the lurid spectacle taking place behind his back. With a sigh of exasperation and a maliciously resentful look in his eyes, he turned around to watch, the text of his unfinished speech crumpled in the fist of his right hand.

Then, as quickly as it had come on, the muscle spasms in my back eased. Relieved of acute stress, I slumped down to hang, panting and shaking from my exertions. I thought for a moment I was going to pass out.

But in an attempt to save the situation for his boss, the Mayor's aide announced to the media that the time had come to ask any questions they might have. Their immediate response was to raise their microphones and recorders, not to the Mayor, but toward me, and begin clammoring for my attention.

"Ummmm ... Ms. Moore ... can you tell us what moving violation got you a sentence of six hours of public humiliation in the park?" asked an earnest looking female reporter.

"I think my skirt was too short ..."

"Ms. Moore! Lupus Blitzer here, CNN. Do you feel humiliated hanging up there naked like that with everyone staring at ... ummmm .... your .... ummm ... at your ... ummmm ....well you know?"

"You mean my bare tits and ass? Stupid question. ... duh ... how do you think I feel?"

"Ms. Moore! Reilly Harrass, Fox News. If I might say so, I think you have lovely tits and a delightfully tight little ass!"

"What's your question?"

"Ms. Moore! T.H.Tree, Nailus Martyrs News Service. I've heard that crucifixion can be an erotically stimulating experience. Tell me, are you wet? How was it? Would you care to comment?"

"Go back in your cave!"

At that point the Mayor's aide intervened, brusquely informing everyone that Q and A time was over. It was four pm, he said, and I had served my sentence. Everyone had to stand back so that the police officers and matrons could get me down.

The two mattons arrived carrying a stretcher. While one officer mounted a wooden box to release my wrists from the crossbeam, the other caught me as I collapsed into his arms. My ankles were swiftly untied and I was lowered carefully onto the waiting stretcher to be carried away, the box containing my clothing nestled between my feet.

"Where are they taking her?" A reporter called out as the stretcher was lifted from the ground.

"To the courthouse," answered the frumpy-looking matron. "the Mayor is having her arrested again, this time it's a misdemeanor charge for public indecency and wantonly disrespectful obstruction of an official civic event ... Judge Hickcox presiding.

It's the circle of crux.

Love the references. I can see Lupus Blitzer in the near future, "this is the court room door Barbara Moore is expected to walk through when she arrives, we have no idea when she will get here, but we do have a shot of the police vehicle she was in leaving Kellogg park and heading west. A crowd has gathered outside the courthouse on either side of the pathway ms Moore is expected to walk down, and I think I can see her now, yes hers doors opening, and actually that's not her, just more police arriving to assist with security. But the excitement is definitely building, we don't have anything to report at this moment, and right no will send it over to our panel of legal experts to discuss what they expect to happen here, and we will come straight back here the second something happens."
 
Traffic Violation Saturday ... Part 3

All eyes were on me as the Mayor began speaking. I could tell he was annoyed because he kept glancing over his shoulder and scowling at me. Each time he would raise his voice a little more in order to be heard above the catcalls, whistles and clapping, and resume his speech ... which droned on and on in an orgy of self-congratulatory oratory about the efficacy of public crucifatory humiliation as a meaningful deterrent to traffic offenses by young women.

Then things got worse. I suddenly developed a muscle spasm in my back and began to frantically gyrate and writhe about on my cross, in addition to howling like a wounded banshee.

Eager to get a better view reporters and onlookers alike crowded forward, around and past a sputtering mayor and his official party. In a matter of seconds the Mayor was speaking to empty space.

I must have been putting on quite a show, dancing naked in the blazing sun ...bathed in sweat, muscles rippling, my breasts bouncing and swaying from side to side. So wild were my frenzied movements that my cross was shaking and creaking.

In the end the Mayor had little choice but to give in to the lurid spectacle taking place behind his back. With a sigh of exasperation and a maliciously resentful look in his eyes, he turned around to watch, the text of his unfinished speech crumpled in the fist of his right hand.

Then, as quickly as it had come on, the muscle spasms in my back eased. Relieved of acute stress, I slumped down to hang, panting and shaking from my exertions. I thought for a moment I was going to pass out.

But in an attempt to save the situation for his boss, the Mayor's aide announced to the media that the time had come to ask any questions they might have. Their immediate response was to raise their microphones and recorders, not to the Mayor, but toward me, and begin clammoring for my attention.

"Ummmm ... Ms. Moore ... can you tell us what moving violation got you a sentence of six hours of public humiliation in the park?" asked an earnest looking female reporter.

"I think my skirt was too short ..."

"Ms. Moore! Lupus Blitzer here, CNN. Do you feel humiliated hanging up there naked like that with everyone staring at ... ummmm .... your .... ummm ... at your ... ummmm ....well you know?"

"You mean my bare tits and ass? Stupid question. ... duh ... how do you think I feel?"

"Ms. Moore! Reilly Harrass, Fox News. If I might say so, I think you have lovely tits and a delightfully tight little ass!"

"What's your question?"

"Ms. Moore! T.H.Tree, Nailus Martyrs News Service. I've heard that crucifixion can be an erotically stimulating experience. Tell me, are you wet? How was it? Would you care to comment?"

"Go back in your cave!"

At that point the Mayor's aide intervened, brusquely informing everyone that Q and A time was over. It was four pm, he said, and I had served my sentence. Everyone had to stand back so that the police officers and matrons could get me down.

The two mattons arrived carrying a stretcher. While one officer mounted a wooden box to release my wrists from the crossbeam, the other caught me as I collapsed into his arms. My ankles were swiftly untied and I was lowered carefully onto the waiting stretcher to be carried away, the box containing my clothing nestled between my feet.

"Where are they taking her?" A reporter called out as the stretcher was lifted from the ground.

"To the courthouse," answered the frumpy-looking matron. "the Mayor is having her arrested again, this time it's a misdemeanor charge for public indecency and wantonly disrespectful obstruction of an official civic event ... Judge Hickcox presiding.
Highly entertaining, Barb! And it's a no-win situation yet again!
 
Traffic Violation Saturday ... Part 3

All eyes were on me as the Mayor began speaking. I could tell he was annoyed because he kept glancing over his shoulder and scowling at me. Each time he would raise his voice a little more in order to be heard above the catcalls, whistles and clapping, and resume his speech ... which droned on and on in an orgy of self-congratulatory oratory about the efficacy of public crucifatory humiliation as a meaningful deterrent to traffic offenses by young women.

Then things got worse. I suddenly developed a muscle spasm in my back and began to frantically gyrate and writhe about on my cross, in addition to howling like a wounded banshee.

Eager to get a better view reporters and onlookers alike crowded forward, around and past a sputtering mayor and his official party. In a matter of seconds the Mayor was speaking to empty space.

I must have been putting on quite a show, dancing naked in the blazing sun ...bathed in sweat, muscles rippling, my breasts bouncing and swaying from side to side. So wild were my frenzied movements that my cross was shaking and creaking.

In the end the Mayor had little choice but to give in to the lurid spectacle taking place behind his back. With a sigh of exasperation and a maliciously resentful look in his eyes, he turned around to watch, the text of his unfinished speech crumpled in the fist of his right hand.

Then, as quickly as it had come on, the muscle spasms in my back eased. Relieved of acute stress, I slumped down to hang, panting and shaking from my exertions. I thought for a moment I was going to pass out.

But in an attempt to save the situation for his boss, the Mayor's aide announced to the media that the time had come to ask any questions they might have. Their immediate response was to raise their microphones and recorders, not to the Mayor, but toward me, and begin clammoring for my attention.

"Ummmm ... Ms. Moore ... can you tell us what moving violation got you a sentence of six hours of public humiliation in the park?" asked an earnest looking female reporter.

"I think my skirt was too short ..."

"Ms. Moore! Lupus Blitzer here, CNN. Do you feel humiliated hanging up there naked like that with everyone staring at ... ummmm .... your .... ummm ... at your ... ummmm ....well you know?"

"You mean my bare tits and ass? Stupid question. ... duh ... how do you think I feel?"

"Ms. Moore! Reilly Harrass, Fox News. If I might say so, I think you have lovely tits and a delightfully tight little ass!"

"What's your question?"

"Ms. Moore! T.H.Tree, Nailus Martyrs News Service. I've heard that crucifixion can be an erotically stimulating experience. Tell me, are you wet? How was it? Would you care to comment?"

"Go back in your cave!"

At that point the Mayor's aide intervened, brusquely informing everyone that Q and A time was over. It was four pm, he said, and I had served my sentence. Everyone had to stand back so that the police officers and matrons could get me down.

The two mattons arrived carrying a stretcher. While one officer mounted a wooden box to release my wrists from the crossbeam, the other caught me as I collapsed into his arms. My ankles were swiftly untied and I was lowered carefully onto the waiting stretcher to be carried away, the box containing my clothing nestled between my feet.

"Where are they taking her?" A reporter called out as the stretcher was lifted from the ground.

"To the courthouse," answered the frumpy-looking matron. "the Mayor is having her arrested again, this time it's a misdemeanor charge for public indecency and wantonly disrespectful obstruction of an official civic event ... Judge Hickcox presiding.
Terrific stuff, Barb! :clapping:

As Jacks says, the names are inspired - in the JK Rowling league, I think! :clapping:

Highly enjoyable! :clapping:
 
"this is the court room door Barbara Moore is expected to walk through when she arrives,
In the case of M/s Moore, it's evidently a revolving door,
by the time she's been punished for one infringement,
she's racked up half a dozen more! :devil:
 
It's the circle of crux.

Love the references. I can see Lupus Blitzer in the near future, "this is the court room door Barbara Moore is expected to walk through when she arrives, we have no idea when she will get here, but we do have a shot of the police vehicle she was in leaving Kellogg park and heading west. A crowd has gathered outside the courthouse on either side of the pathway ms Moore is expected to walk down, and I think I can see her now, yes hers doors opening, and actually that's not her, just more police arriving to assist with security. But the excitement is definitely building, we don't have anything to report at this moment, and right no will send it over to our panel of legal experts to discuss what they expect to happen here, and we will come straight back here the second something happens."
I can tell Jacks has seen CNN and the rest of the media do exactly that ... keep talking with breathless excitement even though there is absolutely nothing going on to report.
 
The trouble with me is i let my mind
go into overdrive and get myself so
worked up , this time it`s a cornu.
anyway i took a cold shower and it`s
calmed me down ,i`m not going looking
again today. i know i`m lucky with a high
sex drive and men love that in a woman
but it can be a curse sometimes and get`s
me into a hell of a state. i`m not searching
again now it`s practical things like preparing
dinner and drying my hair ,it`s a right
bloody mess ,we girls do suffer trying to
please men.Mind you, i would`nt want it
any other way.
 
I can tell Jacks has seen CNN and the rest of the media do exactly that ... keep talking with breathless excitement even though there is absolutely nothing going on to report.

Although I do remember back when everyone learned what water boarding was several news people had themselves subjected to it on live tv to see what it was like. That was something. I wonder is young female interns will be volunteered for this.
 
Terrific stuff, Barb! :clapping:

As Jacks says, the names are inspired - in the JK Rowling league, I think! :clapping:

Highly enjoyable! :clapping:

Awwww thanks ... thought I would give the loathometer a little breather this time around ;):p

Are you sure that's a Q and not a T?

Well done. That may not have been "writing what you know", but I have a feeling it may have been "writing what you would like to know";)

"T" and "A" ... ohhhhh ... hadn't thought of that ... you're right ... could well have been.;)

In the case of M/s Moore, it's evidently a revolving door,
by the time she's been punished for one infringement,
she's racked up half a dozen more! :devil:

I do my best :eek::p:D
 
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