Victim's Eye View

[Deleted member jedakk]

Another scene with some interesting victim's-eye views is when the executioner has just completed nailing her wrists. After all of the frenzy, panic and stabbing pain she experienced while the nails were being driven in, there is now only the pulsing, throbbing agony of the nails in her wrists, the awful sense of loss, knowing her hands will never be the same, helplessness, and despair as all hope is gone. No one will stop her crucifixion. She is about to suffer what she has seen so many others suffer, the slow, agonizing death of the cross.

Here are a couple of full pictures for context:



Here's what she would see if she looked down her body - mostly breasts, but there are the onlookers enjoying her nakedness, pointing to her private parts and talking about her:



If she raised her head a little and looked down her body, this is what she'd see:



From her right, the nail in her right wrist:



And a victim's-eye view of her left wrist:



And finally a close-up of her face and her nailed left wrist:

 

[Thessela]

Oh Goddess look at this one!

 

[Eulalia]

when the executioner has just completed nailing her wrists. After all of the frenzy, panic and stabbing pain she experienced while the nails were being driven in, there is now only the pulsing, throbbing agony of the nails in her wrists, the awful sense of loss, knowing her hands will never be the same, helplessness, and despair as all hope is gone. No one will stop her crucifixion. She is about to suffer what she has seen so many others suffer, the slow, agonizing death of the cross.

Yes, a time that's central to the experience of being crucified,
not many artists or writers make as much of it as they could,
your victim's eye views capture those moments thrillingly.

 

[Deleted member jedakk]

Sabina has been dragged by her nailed wrists to the base of the cross. There's a momentary pause while the two executioner's helpers adjust their grip on the patibulum to begin lifting her up to hang by her wrists. Sabina, kneeling, gasping for breath after the screaming brutality of being dragged helplessly by her wrists, turns her head to stare in disbelief at the surreal sight of the big rusty spike impaling her wrist, unable to believe that this is really happening to her.

Here are a few shots for context:



Here's a near victim's-eye view looking to her right:



And here are victim's-eye views looking right and left:

 

[admihoek]

Oh Goddess look at this one!
View attachment 327375

but she is looking at you...........with tears in her eyes I guess

 

[danielle926]

I find the cornu to be particularly intense. I would want so desperately to keep that thing from penetrating me. But I would realize that if I let it that it might help ease some of my horrible suffering.

And so as I sobbed I would let it penetrate me.

And it would be as if my cross were not just bringing me this awful suffering, but it would be raping me as well...

 

[Barbaria1]

Love the "forest" of blood-stained crosses in the background....nice touch that!

 

[Thessela]

but she is looking at you...........with tears in her eyes I guess

She?
Or me!

 

[Jollyrei]

Yes, a time that's central to the experience of being crucified,
not many artists or writers make as much of it as they could,
your victim's eye views capture those moments thrillingly.

I agree completely. These moments are so crucial to the experience and have such tremendous impact. So often there seems to be a rush from the scourging post directly to the hanging and dancing, without savouring these other moments which give the story such impact.

 

[Deleted member jedakk]

I agree completely. These moments are so crucial to the experience and have such tremendous impact. So often there seems to be a rush from the scourging post directly to the hanging and dancing, without savouring these other moments which give the story such impact.

I wholeheartedly agree, there is so much of the drama of a crucifixion that takes place before the victim is actually hanging there crucified. That's why I have 53 scenes with Sabina covering prison, whipping, carrying and nailing before I get to the crucifixion scenes, and why the story is so long, too.

 

[Barbaria1]

I wholeheartedly agree, there is so much of the drama of a crucifixion that takes place before the victim is actually hanging there crucified. That's why I have 53 scenes with Sabina covering prison, whipping, carrying and nailing before I get to the crucifixion scenes, and why the story is so long, too.

Indeed, for me the final moments on the cross are almost anticlimactic. What arouses or excites me more is the build up ... I tend to see everything from the victim's perspective ... and it is the details of the sequence of events leading to my crucifixion ... betrayal, imprisonment, trial, whipping, carrying, nailing, raising, dancing and struggling... and all the attendant emotions, thoughts, fears, dread, anticipations and humiliations that triggers that arousal and excitement. Another factor, I think, is the sense of being on public display ... stripped naked or nearly naked, exposed, helpless in front of so many who revel in witnessing my suffering, whether they be friend, foe or just a faceless jeering crowd. I also tend to see myself as the innocent victim, wrongly accused or perhaps put in my situation out of someone's jealousy or malice toward me. And finally there is something to suffering with others ... to find myself a victim among many in a mass crucifixion, or to suffer alongside dear friends. Ok, maybe I got carried away here, but so much of what I am saying is brought out so effectively in Jedakk's amazingly detailed and deliberate portrayal of Sabina's ordeal.

 

[thehangingtree]

Indeed, for me the final moments on the cross are almost anticlimactic. What arouses or excites me more is the build up ... I tend to see everything from the victim's perspective ... and it is the details of the sequence of events leading to my crucifixion ... betrayal, imprisonment, trial, whipping, carrying, nailing, raising, dancing and struggling... and all the attendant emotions, thoughts, fears, dread, anticipations and humiliations that triggers that arousal and excitement. Another factor, I think, is the sense of being on public display ... stripped naked or nearly naked, exposed, helpless in front of so many who revel in witnessing my suffering, whether they be friend, foe or just a faceless jeering crowd. I also tend to see myself as the innocent victim, wrongly accused or perhaps put in my situation out of someone's jealousy or malice toward me. And finally there is something to suffering with others ... to find myself a victim among many in a mass crucifixion, or to suffer alongside dear friends. Ok, maybe I got carried away here, but so much of what I am saying is brought out so effectively in Jedakk's amazingly detailed and deliberate portrayal of Sabina's ordeal.

Barb you need to get professional help with your fixation on being 'the innocent victim'...

Tree

...just saying...

 

[Barbaria1]

Barb you need to get professional help with your fixation on being 'the innocent victim'...

Tree

...just saying...

Who me?

 

[admihoek]

She?
Or me!

you of course

 

[Deleted member jedakk]

Indeed, for me the final moments on the cross are almost anticlimactic. What arouses or excites me more is the build up ... I tend to see everything from the victim's perspective ... and it is the details of the sequence of events leading to my crucifixion ... betrayal, imprisonment, trial, whipping, carrying, nailing, raising, dancing and struggling... and all the attendant emotions, thoughts, fears, dread, anticipations and humiliations that triggers that arousal and excitement. Another factor, I think, is the sense of being on public display ... stripped naked or nearly naked, exposed, helpless in front of so many who revel in witnessing my suffering, whether they be friend, foe or just a faceless jeering crowd. I also tend to see myself as the innocent victim, wrongly accused or perhaps put in my situation out of someone's jealousy or malice toward me. And finally there is something to suffering with others ... to find myself a victim among many in a mass crucifixion, or to suffer alongside dear friends. Ok, maybe I got carried away here, but so much of what I am saying is brought out so effectively in Jedakk's amazingly detailed and deliberate portrayal of Sabina's ordeal.

Well, that embodies so much of what I imagine when I'm writing a crucifixion story. Once the victim is crucified, it's a real challenge to find something to write. One of the reasons for having Sabina whipped on her cross was to have some action to write about after she'd been on the cross for more than two days.

As far as the victim, or the condemned, whatever term works, being innocent, I think of that as being relative. She could be a thief or murderer, something clearly wrong and deserving of punishment. But she may be guilty of breaking some silly law like putting a curse on her master, something we today would not take very seriously. I used something similar in "The Three Witches" story I wrote for Damian's "Roman Crucifictions" and recently posted on another thread here. The trumped-up reason for Sabina's crucifixion is even more ridiculous: She displeased her mistress. Slaves were crucified for such, but of course there's more to Sabina's story than that.

The situation I keep thinking of, and need to write about at some point, is where the victim goes to her crucifixion believing that she is a martyr for some worthy cause, only to discover as she is hanging on the cross that her death is actually pointless. And then her agony, which she could somehow temper with her belief that it had a noble purpose, is just agony and much worse than before. The laughter and jeers of the crowd hurt now, where she could rise above them before. She will suffer and die, the dogs will gnaw her bones, and no one will remember her.

Before, she was not only innocent in her own mind but above the law in her high calling. She doesn't have to be a Christian; she could be a follower of Isis, or out to take back her country from the Romans, or a follower of some really obscure cult that vanishes with her death. That will have to be another story.

 

[Eulalia]

Barb you need to get professional help with your fixation on being 'the innocent victim'...

Tree

...just saying...

when you're lying there on your cross,
with nails being hammered through your wrists and feet,
whether you're an 'innocent victim' or a 'condemned criminal'
ain't going to be what's troubling your mind most!

 

[Barbaria1]

when you're lying there on your cross,
with nails being hammered through your wrists and feet,
whether you're an 'innocent victim' or a 'condemned criminal'
ain't going to be what's troubling your mind most!

Good point

 

[Barbaria1]

Well, that embodies so much of what I imagine when I'm writing a crucifixion story. Once the victim is crucified, it's a real challenge to find something to write. One of the reasons for having Sabina whipped on her cross was to have some action to write about after she'd been on the cross for more than two days.

As far as the victim, or the condemned, whatever term works, being innocent, I think of that as being relative. She could be a thief or murderer, something clearly wrong and deserving of punishment. But she may be guilty of breaking some silly law like putting a curse on her master, something we today would not take very seriously. I used something similar in "The Three Witches" story I wrote for Damian's "Roman Crucifictions" and recently posted on another thread here. The trumped-up reason for Sabina's crucifixion is even more ridiculous: She displeased her mistress. Slaves were crucified for such, but of course there's more to Sabina's story than that.

The situation I keep thinking of, and need to write about at some point, is where the victim goes to her crucifixion believing that she is a martyr for some worthy cause, only to discover as she is hanging on the cross that her death is actually pointless. And then her agony, which she could somehow temper with her belief that it had a noble purpose, is just agony and much worse than before. The laughter and jeers of the crowd hurt now, where she could rise above them before. She will suffer and die, the dogs will gnaw her bones, and no one will remember her.

Before, she was not only innocent in her own mind but above the law in her high calling. She doesn't have to be a Christian; she could be a follower of Isis, or out to take back her country from the Romans, or a follower of some really obscure cult that vanishes with her death. That will have to be another story.

"The situation I keep thinking of, and need to write about at some point, is where the victim goes to her crucifixion believing that she is a martyr for some worthy cause, only to discover as she is hanging on the cross that her death is actually pointless. And then her agony, which she could somehow temper with her belief that it had a noble purpose, is just agony and much worse than before. The laughter and jeers of the crowd hurt now, where she could rise above them before. She will suffer and die, the dogs will gnaw her bones, and no one will remember her."

A very promising scenario ... can't wait to see it here on cf

I am imagining now the mad scramble for the screen rights.

 

[Eulalia]

from 'The Wheel'
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/resources/the-wheel.177/

XII

The sun breaks through,
My body’s suddenly spotlit, stood centre-stage,
between the sun and fire,
my right breast glistening, bathed in a golden glow,
my left loin crimson, sharp foretaste …

Surrounded by machinery of death,
‘a wheel within a wheel’,
penned in the midst of fiery mystery,
frightened, excited, roused
beyond my youthful comprehension.

‘Though He be seen in the fire,
that fire is a burning, not a light,
for He enflames desire …’

Yes, I’m ‘enflamed’ all right –
I feel the warmth in my firm tits,
heat surges through my slender nudity,
burns where the cruel chain chafes
my secret parts …

XIII

A dark, all-conquering urge,
this passion which incites young girls,
supposed to be submissive, modest, chaste,
to court arrest, humiliation, torture, death …

A wild desire
to wrestle naked, test our inward wells
of tenderness and strength,
to triumph even in extremes
of suffering.

A cruel thirst,
it brings no Christ
to ravish me from pain in mystic trance.
My God’s a cruel Jehovah who demands
blood-sacrifice.

XIV

I’m psyched-up for the struggle,
hot with desire …

but the sunlight’s fitful, watery,
compared to the relentless heat
of the Torturers’ fire…

XV

Commanded by the Executioner,
I turn my hips and walk compliantly,
feeling my hair blow free
in the cool evening breeze –

plants, rocks,
girl’s undies,
whips –

with one glance through the woodwork at the sky
I step up on the bloody stone,
and lift my shackled arms for them, prepared...

XVI

As they spreadeagle me
against the spikes,
I feel the hints of pain begin...

A dark cloud hides the sun.

‘I see Him as it were in a cloud’…

for still I need,
and at this crucial moment fail to find,
God’s reassurance.

XVII

I hear my yelp of pain
as they jerk tight the chains -

Ready.

The men pick up their whips and instruments
and stand appraising
my stretched, quivering girlhood
as they await the Executioner’s word...

“Begin!”

XVIII

Heaven for me is now
a vague and distant notion,

Hell
the reality …

I lower my eyes submissively …
I’m going to suffer
terribly,
and I know it …

 

[Jollyrei]

Well, that embodies so much of what I imagine when I'm writing a crucifixion story. Once the victim is crucified, it's a real challenge to find something to write. One of the reasons for having Sabina whipped on her cross was to have some action to write about after she'd been on the cross for more than two days.

As far as the victim, or the condemned, whatever term works, being innocent, I think of that as being relative. She could be a thief or murderer, something clearly wrong and deserving of punishment. But she may be guilty of breaking some silly law like putting a curse on her master, something we today would not take very seriously. I used something similar in "The Three Witches" story I wrote for Damian's "Roman Crucifictions" and recently posted on another thread here. The trumped-up reason for Sabina's crucifixion is even more ridiculous: She displeased her mistress. Slaves were crucified for such, but of course there's more to Sabina's story than that.

The situation I keep thinking of, and need to write about at some point, is where the victim goes to her crucifixion believing that she is a martyr for some worthy cause, only to discover as she is hanging on the cross that her death is actually pointless. And then her agony, which she could somehow temper with her belief that it had a noble purpose, is just agony and much worse than before. The laughter and jeers of the crowd hurt now, where she could rise above them before. She will suffer and die, the dogs will gnaw her bones, and no one will remember her.

Before, she was not only innocent in her own mind but above the law in her high calling. She doesn't have to be a Christian; she could be a follower of Isis, or out to take back her country from the Romans, or a follower of some really obscure cult that vanishes with her death. That will have to be another story.

I'm sure I've seen a story or two with the theme of lost sense of martyrdom. There was a Eulalia Christa story with that idea, I think.