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Gratuitous Violence

  • Thread starter The Fallen Angel
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T

The Fallen Angel

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Soldier:”Oi you..Arbor!”
Tree:”Do you mean me?..my name is Tree I will have you know.”
Soldier:”That's what I said innit. Don't you speak Latin mate?”
Tree:”Not a great deal to be honest. Now what do you want my good man?”
Soldier”Weren't you the geezer complaining about gratuitous violence in the last pic?”
Tree:”Not at all, you are mistaken. I wasn't complaining..I am all in favour of it.”
Soldier”Well just to put the record straight mate nothing is gratis in this Colosseum. Yer pays yer denari and yer parks yer bum...wait a minute! What's in that bottle?”
Tree:”It's a bottle of Seagrams.”
Soldier:”You buy yer drinks from the kiosks mate along with BBQ'd Otter noses and crocodile burgers. Ain't that Seagrams what cissies and ladyboys drink?”
Tree:”WHAT!!!...I am Not a cissy NOR a ladyboy I will have you know. This is Seven Crowns Seagram whiskey.”
Soldier:”Can't you afford a decent bottle of Gepeitschtenfraumilch then?...on special offer from Mel and Julie's vineyards.”
Tree:”I've had enough of this banter..now please direct me to my seat. Here is my complimentery ticket from Mel and Jule.”
Soldier:”Mel and Julie!!...why didn't you say so me old cobber!!...Ulrika please direct this gent to the Emperor's box. How many naked virgins will you require during the interval? How many bottles of Seagrams..on the Colosseum of course.”
 

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melissa said:
Soldier:”Oi you..Arbor!”
Tree:”Do you mean me?..my name is Tree I will have you know.”
Soldier:”That's what I said innit. Don't you speak Latin mate?”
Tree:”Not a great deal to be honest. Now what do you want my good man?”
Soldier”Weren't you the geezer complaining about gratuitous violence in the last pic?”
Tree:”Not at all, you are mistaken. I wasn't complaining..I am all in favour of it.”
Soldier”Well just to put the record straight mate nothing is gratis in this Colosseum. Yer pays yer denari and yer parks yer bum...wait a minute! What's in that bottle?”
Tree:”It's a bottle of Seagrams.”
Soldier:”You buy yer drinks from the kiosks mate along with BBQ'd Otter noses and crocodile burgers. Ain't that Seagrams what cissies and ladyboys drink?”
Tree:”WHAT!!!...I am Not a cissy NOR a ladyboy I will have you know. This is Seven Crowns Seagram whiskey.”
Soldier:”Can't you afford a decent bottle of Gepeitschtenfraumilch then?...on special offer from Mel and Julie's vineyards.”
Tree:”I've had enough of this banter..now please direct me to my seat. Here is my complimentery ticket from Mel and Jule.”
Soldier:”Mel and Julie!!...why didn't you say so me old cobber!!...Ulrika please direct this gent to the Emperor's box. How many naked virgins will you require during the interval? How many bottles of Seagrams..on the Colosseum of course.”
Click to expand...
:Dthat rings a bell but i don't find somewhat for you
 
Ah the company of Melissa and Julie while innocent women suffer crucifixion. It cannot get much better...

Tree

Yes, Ulrika, I still want my complementary blowjob!!!!
 
Why the terrosts blow themselves up. They think they'll get 71 vigins after the die.....(They think THAT'S going to be heaven?)
 
I thought it was seventy-two virgins. And tree isn't blowing himself up to find out if there are 72 virgins when he gets there. He hopes to live long and deflower all of them here on earth...

T
 
thehangingtree said:
I thought it was seventy-two virgins. And tree isn't blowing himself up to find out if there are 72 virgins when he gets there. He hopes to live long and deflower all of them here on earth...

T
Click to expand...
some of them are already saints in the Milestones pages
 
Soldier:”Hi ho hi ho It's off to work I go. With a shovel and a pick and a red hot iron, hi ho hi ho.... Whos'e next on my list hmmmm?..I see it's Angela. Hi ho...”
Tree:”Excuse me!”
Soldier:”Quod?
Hans:”Language on this Forum is English!!”
Soldier:”OK...What?”
Tree:”Shouldn't that be With a shovel and a pick and a walking stick?”
Soldier:”I'm not taking her for a walk around the bloody Colosseum mate! I'm here to entertain the plebs..now where was I?”
Tree:”But it doesn't rhyme...pick does not rhyme with iron”
Soldier:”????...hmmm?...well it does in Latin...Hi ho...”
Tree:”But I don't speak Latin so I am unable to check the veracity of your claim!”
Soldier:”Not my problem mate. Where you from then?”
Tree:”America.”
Soldier:”A merry what?..is that part of Gaul?”
Tree:”No. It's not been discovered yet..except of course by the people who live there.”
Soldier:”Oh by Jupiter...look what the cat's dragged in!!”
Tree:”Who is that?”
Soldier:”It's Cybele..a nasty piece of work. She was an Enforcer for The Clan but Camille kicked her out for cruelty.”
Tree:”What is she doing here?”
Soldier:”Very pally with Petrina, daughter of our Guvnor, Domitian what owns this place and if my eyes don't deceive me there's that other bitch Emilia just behind her.”
TO BE CONTINUED
 

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:D:rolleyes:
 
melissa said:
Soldier:”Hi ho hi ho It's off to work I go. With a shovel and a pick and a red hot iron, hi ho hi ho.... Whos'e next on my list hmmmm?..I see it's Angela. Hi ho...”
Tree:”Excuse me!”
Soldier:”Quod?
Hans:”Language on this Forum is English!!”
Soldier:”OK...What?”
Tree:”Shouldn't that be With a shovel and a pick and a walking stick?”
Soldier:”I'm not taking her for a walk around the bloody Colosseum mate! I'm here to entertain the plebs..now where was I?”
Tree:”But it doesn't rhyme...pick does not rhyme with iron”
Soldier:”????...hmmm?...well it does in Latin...Hi ho...”
Tree:”But I don't speak Latin so I am unable to check the veracity of your claim!”
Soldier:”Not my problem mate. Where you from then?”
Tree:”America.”
Soldier:”A merry what?..is that part of Gaul?”
Tree:”No. It's not been discovered yet..except of course by the people who live there.”
Soldier:”Oh by Jupiter...look what the cat's dragged in!!”
Tree:”Who is that?”
Soldier:”It's Cybele..a nasty piece of work. She was an Enforcer for The Clan but Camille kicked her out for cruelty.”
Tree:”What is she doing here?”
Soldier:”Very pally with Petrina, daughter of our Guvnor, Domitian what owns this place and if my eyes don't deceive me there's that other bitch Emilia just behind her.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Click to expand...
 
but like it........................................much good night;)
 
Tree:”Is that Cybele?...looks all right to me!”
Soldier:”Yeah..that's her....evil bitch.”
Tree:”So what does she want?”
Soldier:”She's a collector”
Tree:”Stamps?, post cards?, Ming vases?”
Soldier:”No.”
Tree:”Coins, butterflies, paintings....”
Soldier:”Noooooo!”
Tree:”So what does she collect?”
Soldier”Christian virgin's nipples.”
Tree:”What!!!!....errr.....why?”
Soldier:”Preserves em in amber and uses em for earings mate.”
Tree:”Ulrika!..a double Seagrams please!.”

Cybele:”Ey up me old cock sparrer... what you got in your hand then?”
Soldier:”It's a breast ripper my dear.”
Cybele:”Don't dear me soldier boy else you in bovver!!”
Soldier:”Oh I'm sorry!...now can I get on with my job?”
Cybele”My gran wouldn't use that as a back scratcher!!...It's pathetic!...What you need is a real cutter like what I got from Nailus Martyrs.”

Tree:”Tell him there's 10% off all November!”

Soldier:”I see the obnoxious Emmelia has just arrived.”
Cybele:”So why don't you take a vino break granddad and leave the real entertaining to us?”
 

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Cybele”My gran wouldn't use that as a back scratcher!!...It's pathetic!...What you need is a real cutter like what I got from Nailus Martyrs.”

Tree:”Tell him there's 10% off all November!”

No coupons needed...

T
 
Left is Cybele Middle is Angela Right is Emelia

Cybele:”Long time since we worked together Em!”
Emelia:”Yeah..we were on work experience for Arcimboldo.”
Cybele:”Yep, “Team Work” it was. Made a right mess of Villofal.”
Angela:”Aaaargh!!!...stop!!!!......pleeeeeease......mercy!!!”
Emelia:”Shut up!!...silly cow!..we aint started yet!!”
Angela:”Oh!!.....please give me my cue when it's time.”
Cybele:”Now let's get my trusty cutter into action.”
(NOW 15% OFF AT NAILUS MARTYS)
Emelia:”Left a bit..left...up a bit...LEFT I said”
Cybele:”I am moving it left!!!”
Emelia”MY LEFT!!....you'll have somebody's eye out the way you're performing!”
Cybele:”This outdoor work is making me hungry.”
Emelia:”And thirsty.”
Cybele:”Steak and chips at The Twelve Apostles?...free bottle of vino?”
Emelia:”Angela can pay!”
 

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