Maybe he is just happy because it is warm where he is?
Oh, Gawd, and I'm one demerit from the same place
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Rosie's Crucifixion
- Thread starter thehangingtree
- Start date
Oh, Gawd, and I'm one demerit from the same place
Oh, Gawd, and I'm one demerit from the same place
And I am watching you like a hawk....you are like a cat on the last of his nine lives.
Marmakduke, my ass. Really?
And I am watching you like a hawk....you are like a cat on the last of his nine lives.
Marmakduke, my ass. Really?
David Niven Wragg???....
anyone who is not your relative?
Playing angel will not save you Wraggie.....good deeds are what I require... serve me your best wine, outfit me in expensive clothing, buy me diamonds ... and next time you are in Zurich, set up one of those nice little blind accounts for me too, ok? And don't forget to deposit some money in it.
David Niven Wragg???....
anyone who is not your relative?
Playing angel will not save you Wraggie.....good deeds are what I require... serve me your best wine, outfit me in expensive clothing, buy me diamonds ... and next time you are in Zurich, set up one of those nice little blind accounts for me too, ok? And don't forget to deposit some money in it.
Blimey!
These demerits are bleedin' expensive!
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction –Isaac Newton
If you drink enough eventually you have to piss –The Hanging Tree
If you look up ‘last witch burned in England’ Despard’s Wragg’s ancestor Marmeduke’s wife not mentioned but many things have occurred at the Cruxton Abbey that have not been recorded, at least not for posterity.
Tree mentions this since after Sir Wragg thought burning Dorothy at the stake like Marmeduke’s wife had been three centuries before Tree could find no references of such on the internet except a google search that sent him to a recent Crux Forums post- most likely accurate but could not be ‘footnoted’…
As Sir Wragg and Tree enjoy cocktails in a parlor at Cruxton Abbey Sir Wragg broached the subject with Tree. “Since you will only be crucifying My great-niece Elizabeth and Rosie is it safe to presume you will be refunding 1/3 of the fee I paid you for three crucifixions?”
“It is not. Even if I toss in burning Dorothy for free, I have already bought fine French crucifixion grade wood from the lumber baroness Messaline and contracted Bull and Gunner at full MTC rates for three crucifixions. I don’t want trouble with the union” Tree said as he lit a cigarette.
“What am I going to do? This will greatly reduce the profits of the Cruxton Abbey Festival” Sir Wragg fretted.
“Do what you always do and have your guests vote on which wife, girlfriend, or slave they brought replaces Dorothy” Tree said as he exhaled a cloud of smoke into the parlor.
“There will be some unhappy women having to go through that after I said they would not have to. And Tree, have I not asked you not to smoke inside?”
“The operative word is ‘women’ and since when have you cared if they are happy or not. And yes you have asked me not to smoke inside” he said as he took another drag from the Marlboro.
“Spoken like a true New World cad, Tree” Sir Wragg acknowledged…
Tree
If you drink enough eventually you have to piss –The Hanging Tree
If you look up ‘last witch burned in England’ Despard’s Wragg’s ancestor Marmeduke’s wife not mentioned but many things have occurred at the Cruxton Abbey that have not been recorded, at least not for posterity.
Tree mentions this since after Sir Wragg thought burning Dorothy at the stake like Marmeduke’s wife had been three centuries before Tree could find no references of such on the internet except a google search that sent him to a recent Crux Forums post- most likely accurate but could not be ‘footnoted’…
As Sir Wragg and Tree enjoy cocktails in a parlor at Cruxton Abbey Sir Wragg broached the subject with Tree. “Since you will only be crucifying My great-niece Elizabeth and Rosie is it safe to presume you will be refunding 1/3 of the fee I paid you for three crucifixions?”
“It is not. Even if I toss in burning Dorothy for free, I have already bought fine French crucifixion grade wood from the lumber baroness Messaline and contracted Bull and Gunner at full MTC rates for three crucifixions. I don’t want trouble with the union” Tree said as he lit a cigarette.
“What am I going to do? This will greatly reduce the profits of the Cruxton Abbey Festival” Sir Wragg fretted.
“Do what you always do and have your guests vote on which wife, girlfriend, or slave they brought replaces Dorothy” Tree said as he exhaled a cloud of smoke into the parlor.
“There will be some unhappy women having to go through that after I said they would not have to. And Tree, have I not asked you not to smoke inside?”
“The operative word is ‘women’ and since when have you cared if they are happy or not. And yes you have asked me not to smoke inside” he said as he took another drag from the Marlboro.
“Spoken like a true New World cad, Tree” Sir Wragg acknowledged…
Tree
“Do what you always do and have your guests vote on which wife, girlfriend, or slave they brought replaces Dorothy” Tree said as he exhaled a cloud of smoke into the parlor.
What does this mean? Any other year at the Cruxton Abbey Festival Sir Wragg would pick a slave for crucifixion and two of women, whether they were wives, girlfriends, or slaves of the guests (male or female) would be parade to the grand ballroom of the abbey and private ballots were cast to see which would be crucified with Wragg’s slave.
To vote and submit their lovers the master had to make a sizable contribution to Abbey Restoration Fund (tax deductible in most countries). This year only one was to be selected as Sir Wragg had Rosie’s generous donation of herself and he wished to dispose of his great-niece Elizabeth. The ballots had not been needed when the oil baron had paid to have Dorothy crucified but he was delighted to hear Dorothy would be burned at the stake, saying stoning and crucifying were getting as dull as the semi-annual delivery of a new Ferrari. He made another substantial donation to the Abbey Fund so he could vote in the selection. He slipped a name in an envelope, sealed it, and said “I wish her included.”
“May I ask who she is” Sir Wragg inquired.
“Do you wish to return my check?” the baron asked. Sir Wragg choose not to…
So the eleven women entered in the ballot were brought to the ballroom in minimal dress; fancy shoes, some jewelry, and some kind of headgear. Their eye make-up almost outweighed everything they worn. They all knew what they were facing.
In the ballroom there were considerably more than the dozen paid donor/voters. Sir Despard Wragg sold tickets to a thousand couples at 5000L apiece to see the spectacle. The slaves in the ballot seemed almost relaxed. Presented nude was nothing new to them. The free women were obviously more nervous presented as they were, barely better than the slaves.
Each round of votes was carefully tabulated in a backroom by Ulrika. At one point Sir Wragg called her and asked if there was a problem. She said her computer froze up and she didn’t know why.
TheBOOBS bug was removed. Some of the women were simply relieved they weren’t selected to die crucified while others were disappointed that they weren’t in the final cut.
When Julia walked over to Melissa she said “I thought I was dead.”
“Darling I would never let that happen to you… yet” Melissa purred.
“But there is no one left” Julia said.
“Nonsense, my love, we are at the Cruxton Abbey on the Crux Forums and Tree is writing and he has been drinking copious amounts of Seagram’s; anything can happen” Melissa explained.
Over hidden speakers Ulrika announces that ‘Contestant number twelve’ would be crucified with Elizabeth and Rosie. The whole room looked about wondering who she was. Then Ulrika announced “Victoria Wragg will ride the third cross to her death.
Sir Wragg’s niece looked about the room and said “What the fuck is going on?”
Sir Wragg lifted an eyebrow and looked at the oil baron and said “the price of oil has dropped. I hope your check clears.”
The baron looked back at him and said “When I wipe my ass the paper I flush is worth more than you are.”
Tree lit a Marlboro and after blowing a cloud of smoke said “Gentleman, this should be discussed behind closed doors…
Tree
What does this mean? Any other year at the Cruxton Abbey Festival Sir Wragg would pick a slave for crucifixion and two of women, whether they were wives, girlfriends, or slaves of the guests (male or female) would be parade to the grand ballroom of the abbey and private ballots were cast to see which would be crucified with Wragg’s slave.
To vote and submit their lovers the master had to make a sizable contribution to Abbey Restoration Fund (tax deductible in most countries). This year only one was to be selected as Sir Wragg had Rosie’s generous donation of herself and he wished to dispose of his great-niece Elizabeth. The ballots had not been needed when the oil baron had paid to have Dorothy crucified but he was delighted to hear Dorothy would be burned at the stake, saying stoning and crucifying were getting as dull as the semi-annual delivery of a new Ferrari. He made another substantial donation to the Abbey Fund so he could vote in the selection. He slipped a name in an envelope, sealed it, and said “I wish her included.”
“May I ask who she is” Sir Wragg inquired.
“Do you wish to return my check?” the baron asked. Sir Wragg choose not to…
So the eleven women entered in the ballot were brought to the ballroom in minimal dress; fancy shoes, some jewelry, and some kind of headgear. Their eye make-up almost outweighed everything they worn. They all knew what they were facing.
In the ballroom there were considerably more than the dozen paid donor/voters. Sir Despard Wragg sold tickets to a thousand couples at 5000L apiece to see the spectacle. The slaves in the ballot seemed almost relaxed. Presented nude was nothing new to them. The free women were obviously more nervous presented as they were, barely better than the slaves.
Each round of votes was carefully tabulated in a backroom by Ulrika. At one point Sir Wragg called her and asked if there was a problem. She said her computer froze up and she didn’t know why.
The
When Julia walked over to Melissa she said “I thought I was dead.”
“Darling I would never let that happen to you… yet” Melissa purred.
“But there is no one left” Julia said.
“Nonsense, my love, we are at the Cruxton Abbey on the Crux Forums and Tree is writing and he has been drinking copious amounts of Seagram’s; anything can happen” Melissa explained.
Over hidden speakers Ulrika announces that ‘Contestant number twelve’ would be crucified with Elizabeth and Rosie. The whole room looked about wondering who she was. Then Ulrika announced “Victoria Wragg will ride the third cross to her death.
Sir Wragg’s niece looked about the room and said “What the fuck is going on?”
Sir Wragg lifted an eyebrow and looked at the oil baron and said “the price of oil has dropped. I hope your check clears.”
The baron looked back at him and said “When I wipe my ass the paper I flush is worth more than you are.”
Tree lit a Marlboro and after blowing a cloud of smoke said “Gentleman, this should be discussed behind closed doors…
Tree
Dorothy Brown
Brown Sugar
Well I Am A Simple Soul And Am Totally Confused
If You Want Me I Am On My Hands And Knees
Outside Scrubbing The Steps, I Know My Place
Sorry I missed this last night Tree ... better late than never .... It's classic Tree writing and illustration ... and one of your best!!!
And you know Barb doesn't throw compliments like that around lightly.
And you know Barb doesn't throw compliments like that around lightly.
I must say, for a fellow from Missouri, he does the English accent jolly well!
What?
only with Sister Julia's help
Dorothy Brown
Brown Sugar
Steps Mr. Tree , Scouring Stone And Cloth With A Bucket Of Hot Water
Back To The 20s and 30s And my master punishes me with the cane
if the steps are not scrubbed clean
I Think I Prefer The Ducking Stool
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Dorothy Brown
Brown Sugar
Yes i suck slowly like that Mr Tree
Now How Did You Know That
You Have Been Visiting My Glory Hole
...a gentleman never tells, Dorothy (and no cracks about 'how could that apply to Tree?' you wise guys
)Tree
Somehow my word document on this has disappeared (anyone with any idea how to search my computer PM me) but to bring us up to speed...
Rosie was crucified at the annual 'Rite of Spring' festival (albeit bound to the cross instead of nailed to it) and afterward had a crucifixion obsession that out rodent, with the help of Sir Wragg and the fair and just Judge Admi and his questionable court are going to help fulfill her desire to be 'one with the cross'; nailed to and hang from until she dies on the wood.
Barbaria had turned to the dark side and, along with Gunner and Bull, bought the petite slave Blaire but Barb was made a slave again and Gunner and Bull thought it better to send her with Barb to the Cruxton Abbey (from which, it has been revealed, Barbaria started a rebellion when she was a slave there) but Blaire was still allowed to compete in cycling but is possibly engineering yet another rebellion while away from the Abbey!
Elizabeth Montgomery-Wragg (no relationship to Montgomery Ward, a defunct U.S. department and catalog store), the great-niece of Despard Wragg, has been selected to join Rosie to die crucified at the annual Cruxton Abbey Festival, a secret and highly illegal event.
In a late turn of events, Victoria Wragg, Elizabeth's mother and Sir Wragg's niece has been selected to ride the third cross to her death when it was determined the original selection of Dorothy Brown should be the 'warm-up' act and be burned at the stake....
Did I miss anything???
Oh, yeah, Messa is, of course, supplying the premium French crucifixion wood with Tree doing the nailing... In more ways than one...
Tree
Rosie was crucified at the annual 'Rite of Spring' festival (albeit bound to the cross instead of nailed to it) and afterward had a crucifixion obsession that out rodent, with the help of Sir Wragg and the fair and just Judge Admi and his questionable court are going to help fulfill her desire to be 'one with the cross'; nailed to and hang from until she dies on the wood.
Barbaria had turned to the dark side and, along with Gunner and Bull, bought the petite slave Blaire but Barb was made a slave again and Gunner and Bull thought it better to send her with Barb to the Cruxton Abbey (from which, it has been revealed, Barbaria started a rebellion when she was a slave there) but Blaire was still allowed to compete in cycling but is possibly engineering yet another rebellion while away from the Abbey!
Elizabeth Montgomery-Wragg (no relationship to Montgomery Ward, a defunct U.S. department and catalog store), the great-niece of Despard Wragg, has been selected to join Rosie to die crucified at the annual Cruxton Abbey Festival, a secret and highly illegal event.
In a late turn of events, Victoria Wragg, Elizabeth's mother and Sir Wragg's niece has been selected to ride the third cross to her death when it was determined the original selection of Dorothy Brown should be the 'warm-up' act and be burned at the stake....
Did I miss anything???
Oh, yeah, Messa is, of course, supplying the premium French crucifixion wood with Tree doing the nailing... In more ways than one...
Tree