Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Actually, Barb will simply write a letter full of complaints (as usual)
, but apparently, her prolonged stay amidst English nobility, has made her use the Moore posh wording of "grievance"!
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Crisis at Cruxton Abbey
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
, but apparently, her prolonged stay amidst English nobility, has made her use the Moore posh wording of "grievance"!
I’m a quick learnerActually, Barb will simply write a letter full of complaints (as usual)
bindhertocross
Magistrate
I believe this is similar to the training of Olympic athletes...
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Carrying a cross uphill is an important discipline during the Crux Olympics!
twonines
LIMERICUS
That`s debatable.I’m a quick learner
13.
“I call to order the second full meeting of the executive committee of “The Cruxton Abbey Judicial Punishments and Executions through the Ages Live Reenactments Review”, declared Lord Wragg, raising his voice so as to be heard above the hum of animated conversation in Cruxton Abbey’s elegantly appointed formal dining room.”
“Quiet!” Shouted Tree, before leaning back in his chair and burping loudly enough to startle anyone still engaged in conversation.
[The room quieted]
“Thank you all for your attention and a special thanks to Ms Briggs and the kitchen staff for preparing and serving this wonderful meal. And to Loxoru, Graf von Kreuzigung and mastermind of this amazing venture on which we’ve all embarked together, for providing the fine German wines we’ve enjoyed this evening as we’ve dined.
[enthusiastic applause]
“And now, if I may,” continued Wragg, holding up his hands for silence. “I’d like to welcome to the podium, the man to whom we owe our sincere gratitude for the original inspiration that led to our amazing current project, and who will now fill us in on the outline for the final event programming as it now stands, Count Loxoru!”
[enthusiastic applause]
“And while he makes his way to the podium, I ask the wait staff to please refill everyone’s goblet with fine Mosel Riesling, so that we may raise our glasses in toast to the Count!”
“Hey! Where’s Barb this evening,” asked Fossy amidst the general murmurs of approval and good cheer.”
“Oh, she’s sulking down in the basement dungeon this evening,” replied Wragg with an apologetic nod and a glance toward the passageway leading off the dining room in the direction of the cellar door … through which one could make out the distant sounds of wailings and cursing. “Our Barb was rather put out after what happened early this morning … when Tree, Bull and Gunner decided to have her rehearse the carrying of a heavy ‘French premium wood’ cross, and found she wasn’t able to do it despite the encouragement of Bull and Gunner. She made such a scene with her ill temper that we had to take her down to the dungeon and lock her in the stocks until she gets over it. In any case, without further ado, here’s Lox!”
[applause]
“Danke, Lord Wragg. Yes, it’s with great pleasure this evening that I can report to you on the extraordinary progress made to date on the preparation for our event.”
[applause]
“And a special shout-out, if I may, to Mp5stab for designing the scandalously revealing outfits and exquisite hair arrangements on display amongst the staff serving girls this evening! A preview perhaps of the costuming magic she has in store for the event.
[enthusiastic applause along with a smattering of wolf whistles]
“Now, the most important thing I have to tell you … so listen up,” continued Loxoru, “is that we’ve now settled on most all of the programming details for the big day … so here it is … the big day will begin at 11 am when the gates to the grounds will be opened to an estimated twelve to fourteen hundred paying guests, who on arrival will be directed straight to the parking lots. Concession and food stands will be open in the event grounds from 11, as will the beer garden staffed by a full complement of fetchingly costumed Bavarian kellnerinnen. And for the wine drinkers, they’ll be serving nothing but the very best of the Vaterland’s Rieslings.”
[a plaintive howl is heard from the basement]
“What the Devil was that?” Exclaimed Wulf.
“Our, Barb, I believe,” sighed Wragg. “I think she’s tired of being locked in the stocks and probably overheard Loxoru’s mention of Riesling.”
“Oh, do let the poor thing come up to join us, Wraggie. I think she’s suffered long enough,” chided Lady Wragg. “And she’s probably terribly famished!”
“But ms Moore is hardly dressed for the occasion!” Sniffed Briggs. “In fact, she’s quite naked.”
“I doubt anyone here will mind, Briggs.”
“Yes, m’Lady. I’ll of course send someone for her now.”
“Do continue, Loxoru.” Said Wragg.
“Natürlich ja, between 1 and 4 in the afternoon, there will be guided tours of the newly refurbished Cruxton Abbey dungeon and torture chambers, replete with members of our female staff performing live demonstrations, of the kind we witnessed at our last meeting.
Meanwhile, on the grounds immediately outside the manor we will be staging, under the able direction of HarshMartinet, re-enactments of innocent young country maidens and blushing noble ladies being carted off to a row of six stout whipping posts, constructed of course of French premium wood, there to be bared to the waist and mercilessly flogged … again, the role of the maidens and ladies to be played by members of our female staff.
Afterwards, however, the posts and whips will be made available for use by members of the crowd, … you know, as in that Folsom festival in California … although in our case they will pay a hefty fee for the privilege, which appears given the large number of advanced ticket purchases to be no barrier to the kind of audience we’re attracting.
“You’re not going to whip me at no post! I’ll not stand for none of that business, I won’t!”Shouted a defiant Barbara from the door leading to the dining room.
“Do come in and have some Riesling, dear Barbara. You need to chill and it’s sure to make you feel ever so much more relaxed and mellow.” Soothed Lady Wragg.
“Go on, Lox,” prompted Wragg over his shoulder as he steered Barb over to the sideboard.
“The grand finale, the premiere show of our event, will take place in the evening. This of course will feature re-enactments of executions by Roman crucifixion and public hangings of the kind routinely performed in the American state of Arkansas. These re-enactments will be painstakingly staged to be as realistic as possible, in no small part due to the expertise of the Mr Tree and his crew. The Roman crucifixions will be staged on a height of land that formerly served as a vista backdrop for Cruxton Abbey’s landscape garden, and will feature three stalwart crosses of French Premium wood. The reenactment of a judicial hanging will take place on the former site of her Ladyship’s rose garden and feature a specially designed triple noose high-platform gallows, once again constructed of French Premium wood, situated in the center of a facsimile of a town square somewhere in Arkansas.”
“And who will play the condemned?” Mused Jollyrei, the rubbing of his hands together sounding something like several people cracking their knuckles more or less in unison.
“Well, we think for the crucifixions, we’ll use Barb, Eulalia and Mp5stab.”
“And to the gallows?”
“That would be DarkPrincess, Messaline, and Ms Prudely.”
“And please remember, everyone, it’s a reenactment … a show … no one will actually die,” interjected Wragg.
“How can we be sure?” Snorted Barb skeptically from over by the sideboard.
“Tree has calculated, with the utmost precision, the exact moment beyond which we dare not go, and in the case of the crucified we’ll be using Mp5stab’s polished sterile thin nails!” Drawled Tree.
“Tree? Precision? Exact moment? …. OH BLOODY SHIT! … gimme a break!” Cried Barb, reaching for and draining a yet half-full Riesling bottle.
TBC
“I call to order the second full meeting of the executive committee of “The Cruxton Abbey Judicial Punishments and Executions through the Ages Live Reenactments Review”, declared Lord Wragg, raising his voice so as to be heard above the hum of animated conversation in Cruxton Abbey’s elegantly appointed formal dining room.”
“Quiet!” Shouted Tree, before leaning back in his chair and burping loudly enough to startle anyone still engaged in conversation.
[The room quieted]
“Thank you all for your attention and a special thanks to Ms Briggs and the kitchen staff for preparing and serving this wonderful meal. And to Loxoru, Graf von Kreuzigung and mastermind of this amazing venture on which we’ve all embarked together, for providing the fine German wines we’ve enjoyed this evening as we’ve dined.
[enthusiastic applause]
“And now, if I may,” continued Wragg, holding up his hands for silence. “I’d like to welcome to the podium, the man to whom we owe our sincere gratitude for the original inspiration that led to our amazing current project, and who will now fill us in on the outline for the final event programming as it now stands, Count Loxoru!”
[enthusiastic applause]
“And while he makes his way to the podium, I ask the wait staff to please refill everyone’s goblet with fine Mosel Riesling, so that we may raise our glasses in toast to the Count!”
“Hey! Where’s Barb this evening,” asked Fossy amidst the general murmurs of approval and good cheer.”
“Oh, she’s sulking down in the basement dungeon this evening,” replied Wragg with an apologetic nod and a glance toward the passageway leading off the dining room in the direction of the cellar door … through which one could make out the distant sounds of wailings and cursing. “Our Barb was rather put out after what happened early this morning … when Tree, Bull and Gunner decided to have her rehearse the carrying of a heavy ‘French premium wood’ cross, and found she wasn’t able to do it despite the encouragement of Bull and Gunner. She made such a scene with her ill temper that we had to take her down to the dungeon and lock her in the stocks until she gets over it. In any case, without further ado, here’s Lox!”
[applause]
“Danke, Lord Wragg. Yes, it’s with great pleasure this evening that I can report to you on the extraordinary progress made to date on the preparation for our event.”
[applause]
“And a special shout-out, if I may, to Mp5stab for designing the scandalously revealing outfits and exquisite hair arrangements on display amongst the staff serving girls this evening! A preview perhaps of the costuming magic she has in store for the event.
[enthusiastic applause along with a smattering of wolf whistles]
“Now, the most important thing I have to tell you … so listen up,” continued Loxoru, “is that we’ve now settled on most all of the programming details for the big day … so here it is … the big day will begin at 11 am when the gates to the grounds will be opened to an estimated twelve to fourteen hundred paying guests, who on arrival will be directed straight to the parking lots. Concession and food stands will be open in the event grounds from 11, as will the beer garden staffed by a full complement of fetchingly costumed Bavarian kellnerinnen. And for the wine drinkers, they’ll be serving nothing but the very best of the Vaterland’s Rieslings.”
[a plaintive howl is heard from the basement]
“What the Devil was that?” Exclaimed Wulf.
“Our, Barb, I believe,” sighed Wragg. “I think she’s tired of being locked in the stocks and probably overheard Loxoru’s mention of Riesling.”
“Oh, do let the poor thing come up to join us, Wraggie. I think she’s suffered long enough,” chided Lady Wragg. “And she’s probably terribly famished!”
“But ms Moore is hardly dressed for the occasion!” Sniffed Briggs. “In fact, she’s quite naked.”
“I doubt anyone here will mind, Briggs.”
“Yes, m’Lady. I’ll of course send someone for her now.”
“Do continue, Loxoru.” Said Wragg.
“Natürlich ja, between 1 and 4 in the afternoon, there will be guided tours of the newly refurbished Cruxton Abbey dungeon and torture chambers, replete with members of our female staff performing live demonstrations, of the kind we witnessed at our last meeting.
Meanwhile, on the grounds immediately outside the manor we will be staging, under the able direction of HarshMartinet, re-enactments of innocent young country maidens and blushing noble ladies being carted off to a row of six stout whipping posts, constructed of course of French premium wood, there to be bared to the waist and mercilessly flogged … again, the role of the maidens and ladies to be played by members of our female staff.
Afterwards, however, the posts and whips will be made available for use by members of the crowd, … you know, as in that Folsom festival in California … although in our case they will pay a hefty fee for the privilege, which appears given the large number of advanced ticket purchases to be no barrier to the kind of audience we’re attracting.
“You’re not going to whip me at no post! I’ll not stand for none of that business, I won’t!”Shouted a defiant Barbara from the door leading to the dining room.
“Do come in and have some Riesling, dear Barbara. You need to chill and it’s sure to make you feel ever so much more relaxed and mellow.” Soothed Lady Wragg.
“Go on, Lox,” prompted Wragg over his shoulder as he steered Barb over to the sideboard.
“The grand finale, the premiere show of our event, will take place in the evening. This of course will feature re-enactments of executions by Roman crucifixion and public hangings of the kind routinely performed in the American state of Arkansas. These re-enactments will be painstakingly staged to be as realistic as possible, in no small part due to the expertise of the Mr Tree and his crew. The Roman crucifixions will be staged on a height of land that formerly served as a vista backdrop for Cruxton Abbey’s landscape garden, and will feature three stalwart crosses of French Premium wood. The reenactment of a judicial hanging will take place on the former site of her Ladyship’s rose garden and feature a specially designed triple noose high-platform gallows, once again constructed of French Premium wood, situated in the center of a facsimile of a town square somewhere in Arkansas.”
“And who will play the condemned?” Mused Jollyrei, the rubbing of his hands together sounding something like several people cracking their knuckles more or less in unison.
“Well, we think for the crucifixions, we’ll use Barb, Eulalia and Mp5stab.”
“And to the gallows?”
“That would be DarkPrincess, Messaline, and Ms Prudely.”
“And please remember, everyone, it’s a reenactment … a show … no one will actually die,” interjected Wragg.
“How can we be sure?” Snorted Barb skeptically from over by the sideboard.
“Tree has calculated, with the utmost precision, the exact moment beyond which we dare not go, and in the case of the crucified we’ll be using Mp5stab’s polished sterile thin nails!” Drawled Tree.
“Tree? Precision? Exact moment? …. OH BLOODY SHIT! … gimme a break!” Cried Barb, reaching for and draining a yet half-full Riesling bottle.
TBC
Hardly seems fair - now that there's Riesling actually being served (without Barb having to raid the wine cellar and get into trouble), she's in the cellar in the stocks.
Never mind - things are being sorted out, I see.
Indeed, I did muse that. I recall it distinctly - who, I said to myself, will they be?
I BELIEVE THAT WAS WHY YOU WANTED ME AT THE FESTIVITIES, WASN'T IT? SORT OF A DOUBLE ROLE OF QUALITY ASSURANCE AND FAILSAFE DEVICE?
Fossy
SEXPIOGENTUS
I listened with growing ambition, as the various luminaries, his Lordship and the Count among them, laid out plans for the day.
Programmes at the entrance, a free mug and commenorative vest for every girl who takes part in the re-enactments, and specially designed light up 'Barbs-on-a-stick' for when the night closes in.
I was almost beside myself with excitement, and then I was sent giddy by the arrival of our beautiful main attraction. The fulsome, nubile, Reisling swigging Barb.
Her late presence however reminded me of the one chink in my armour of satisfaction. Mr B and I had missed getting shots of Barb practising carrying the cross!
"Excuse me," I piped up, "... but do you think that, at some point today, we could repeat the cross carrying exercise for Barb. We will ensure that Mr B has his hand-held at the ready and shoots every twist and turn of her perspiring nudity ...
By the time I had said those words, my lips were dry, my throat was parched ... and Barb's expression was a picture of Reisling soaked horror.
Programmes at the entrance, a free mug and commenorative vest for every girl who takes part in the re-enactments, and specially designed light up 'Barbs-on-a-stick' for when the night closes in.
I was almost beside myself with excitement, and then I was sent giddy by the arrival of our beautiful main attraction. The fulsome, nubile, Reisling swigging Barb.
Her late presence however reminded me of the one chink in my armour of satisfaction. Mr B and I had missed getting shots of Barb practising carrying the cross!
"Excuse me," I piped up, "... but do you think that, at some point today, we could repeat the cross carrying exercise for Barb. We will ensure that Mr B has his hand-held at the ready and shoots every twist and turn of her perspiring nudity ...
By the time I had said those words, my lips were dry, my throat was parched ... and Barb's expression was a picture of Reisling soaked horror.
Last edited:
messaline
Crucified Amazon
Shit ! I could prefer to be crucified, I hate having a rope around my neck, even if it's a Premium Linen French Rope !
mp5stab
Hair and Nails
Perhaps we can have another cross prepared, then?
Well, I suppose nothing is impossible. Perhaps @messaline can devise some small incentive that might entice the Graf von Kreuzigung to make a slight alteration to the plan?
By the time I had said those words, my lips were dry, my throat was parched ... and Barb's expression was a picture of Reisling soaked horror.
Dream on Fossy. This isn’t another one of those Sexpionage episodes. I have my limits, I’ll have you know!
twonines
LIMERICUS
It`s always fun, extending limits!
bindhertocross
Magistrate
We do have lots of extra patibulums we made during the photo shoot until we found a couple Barb could carry.
bindhertocross
Magistrate
Barbaria is going to have to carry TWO? Seems unduly onerous.