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Crisis at Cruxton Abbey

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Barbaria1 said:
3.


“This morning’s meeting of the Directors of the Brampton Investment Bank is called to order,” intoned Head Director, Silas A. Thrift, as he rapped his gavel on the venerable 400-year-old dark mahogany desk at which he and his four colleagues were seated.

“First order of business is an application for a short-term business loan submitted by Lord and Lady Wragg of Cruxton to underwrite the preliminary expense of organizing and staging a … [pause] … uh … a production called … uh … “The Cruxton Abbey Judicial Punishments and Executions through the Ages Live Reenactments Review”. The request is for a short term loan of £315,000 repayable at an interest rate of eighteen and a half percent on its maturity 90 days hence.”

“Most unusual!” Grumbled the other four bank officials in unison as with heads bowed they rustled through the stack of submitted loan application papers placed before each of them.

“Perhaps Lord Wragg would care to enlighten the Board as to precisely what this is all about?” Suggested the Head Director, tenting his hands, leaning forward and adding a well-practiced, skeptical-looking frown to his countenance.

“Indeed. The background to this is that Lady Wragg and I are in a bit of a financial tight spot, you see. We need to raise enough cash quickly to keep our hereditary home, Cruxton Abbey, out of the hands of our creditors and quite likely the National Trust, thus ending the nearly six centuries long run in which the property has been handed down through the Wragg family and served well the good folk of Cruxton, and surrounds, by providing steady employment within its walls and grounds.”

“A noble cause, we might all agree, Lord Wragg, but we need to know more about this money-making scheme you wish the Bank to underwrite.”

“Of course. After bringing in an accomplished German consultant, Lady Wragg and I have come up with a brilliant plan that we feel is certain to bring in gobs of money.”

“Enlighten us.”

“Of course. Our plan is to prey upon certain, shall we say ‘‘prurient’ interests that are out there … namely a fascination among certain elements of the public with regard to the perils and horrors experienced through the ages by fair young maidens and damsels subjected to public punishments, tortures, and executions. It’s the kind of fascination that brings people to dungeon torture museums. The difference here, and we would argue a sure money-maker, is that we audaciously propose to put on a once in a lifetime, live … and in some cases even participatory … event, set within the walls and grounds of a genuine historic English manor.”

“A novel concept, we have to admit. But tell us more about how this would work. Where are you going to find, for example, the maidens and damsels willing to put their nubile young bodies to the rack or the whipping post, or worse? We can well imagine that, if they had any sense at all, they’d each demand of you an exorbitant fee. And where then would the profit be?”

“I believe I can answer that one, Mr Thrift,” intervened Lady Wragg.”

“Well, yes, please do.”

“We plan to make use of the young female staff currently employed at Cruxton Abbey … you know, the chamber maids, parlor maids, scullery girls, and the like. They’re already paid as staff, we’d just add this to their duties and the project would incur no additional expense.”

“And they’ve agreed to this?”

“Well, they’ve not much choice in the matter, now do they? To refuse, would mean they’d be quite out of work. So, yes, they are all agreed … well not quite all … our Barbara, as is her wont, is as usual insisting on being contrary. But, I can assure you that after spending a long dark night suspended by her wrists in the cellar dungeon she’s quite certain to come around. Moreover, we expect some of our paying clientele to wish, quite eagerly I dare say, to participate in the proceedings and either as victims or as torturers and executioners. And we intend, of course, to charge them a hefty fee for the privilege.

“Quite.”

“Our real need here, if I may,” interjected Wragg, “is to meet the preparatory costs. The constructing of sets, for example. While Cruxton Abbey already possesses a dungeon, it’s much too small and ill-equipped for what we envision. There’s also the need to prearrange and engage artistic direction, see to costuming, cater in food and refreshments, engage in promotional advertising, contract for memorabilia concessions, staff and equip properly for video production, arrange for grounds clean up, and the like. That’s why we need upfront funding from your institution.”

“I see. As Bank Directors, it’s our duty, as I expect you and Lady Wragg can appreciate, to be quite certain that your rather unique production will actually turn a profit. And speaking for my colleagues I think it’s safe to say, there’s serious reason for doubt, given the … uh … shall we say ‘novelty’, possibly even the immorality, of what you propose.”

“Your reticence is understood, even expected, of course. But we seriously wish to win you over. Tell us what, at this point, Lady Wragg and I might say that would assure us of a favorable decision.”

“Well, yes … a rather delicate matter, to be sure. And as this institution has never, in its long and storied history, accepted anything approaching outright bribery, perhaps I can suggest something more subtle. What would you say to … uh … five free admissions to the event, and perhaps a private dungeon session with … uh, what was her name … the parlor maid Lady Wragg mentioned …. oh, yes, it was Barb, wasn’t it?”

“I’m certain she’d be delighted!” Declared Lady Wragg.

“Then I believe, we can do business. Congratulations! Oh, and you wouldn’t possibly have a photo to share of this parlor maid, Barb, would you?”

“Thank you! I can assure you that the Bank will be paid in full.” Chorused the Wraggs.

“And we’re quite certain some photos of Barb can be arranged,” added Lady Wragg. “Would you prefer that she pose fully clothed or scantily attired?”

“Oh both would be fine, and even less might be nice too.”


TBC
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1.

“My love, I’m afraid I’ve a rather serious matter to discuss with you over breakfast this morning,” said Lord Wragg, somewhat hesitantly, as he busily slathered a healthy Paddington Bear sized dollop of orange marmalade onto a slice of toast.

“Oh dear!” You’re not about to tell me that that clumsy girl, Barb, has managed to break yet another of my priceless Ming Dynasty vases! If she has, it’ll be forty strokes of the cane on her tight little bottom and two days solitary with only bread and water and sans clothing in one of those dreadful cellar cages for her! This has just got to stop!”
Madiosi2024-012 cruxton.jpg
“No, no … it’s not that. As a matter of fact, Barb hasn’t broken anything of real value now for nearly a fortnight.”
 
4.

“We did it! We did it!” Cried Lady Wragg in a joyous mood as she burst through the front entry door, grabbed Cruxton Abbey’s dignified and clearly taken aback butler, Briggs, by the hands and merrily danced circles around him.

“Very good, m’Lady. Very good, indeed! Tell me what, pray tell, did you and his Lordship do?”
Madiosi2024-014 cruxton.jpg
“Why, we saved Cruxton Abbey! And your job and the those of the entire staff as well!” Cried Lord Wragg, waving a Bank Cheque for £315,000 in his hand.
 
6.

“Wragg! What’s causing that infernal racket out in the rose garden? It’s been going on since dawn!” Groused Lady Wragg, looking up at her husband from her morning cup of tea.

“Uh, it’s T.H. Tree and his crew, m’love. They’ve been out there this morning erecting a scaffolding and gibbet, in addition to preparing several crux crosses … all very necessary, you understand … we must have props prepared in order to stage our event.”

“Crew? What crew?”

Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you. Tree’s assistants, Bull and Gunner, arrived from the States after you went to bed last night.”

“Oh dear, I do hope Briggs gave them a proper welcome and got them situated in suitable guest rooms.”

“Well, he did. But says he was a bit chagrined to find this morning that the beds in the guest rooms hadn’t been slept in.”

“What? Where then did they spend the night?”

“According to Briggs, these two behemoths … his words, not mine … apparently managed to sniff out the household staff girls’ quarters. And, well ….”

“Oh no! So that’s why Barb was walking about looking so stiff-legged and sore when she served my breakfast this morning!”

“Suspect so. I found she left a letter of employee complaint on my desk this morning. I didn’t bother to read it … just chucked it in a desk drawer with all the others she’d left since she arrived and entered service here.”

“Ahem … if I may interrupt, m’Lord?”

“Yes? What is it Briggs.”

“Uh … a lorry appears to have pulled up on the drive overnight. The logo on the side is in French, and I believe I’m correct in translating it to: ‘Mlle Messaline, Purveyor of French Premium Wood and Hemp, Anjou, France’. Apparently, Tree’s men, Bull and Gunner, have unloaded its cargo already and taken it out back to M’Lady’s rose garden.”

“I see.”

“But there’s more. Mlle @messaline and her companion Judith are here to see you. It seems they have an invoice for services rendered they wish for you to pay. They’re also demanding lodging here at the manor. I’ve asked them kindly to wait for you in the drawing room.”

“Invoice? Lodging?” Exclaimed Lady Wragg. “What’s going on? You know how I feel, dear, about the French!”

“Calm down, my dear. It’s all part of the arrangement we’ve entered into with Mr. Tree.”

“He’s not really planning to hang or crucify anyone until they’re dead, is he?”

“No dear. Try to remember that it’s strictly a show we’re intending to put on. A show designed to titillate and delight. But, of course, no one will die. Although I must admit there are times with our Barb when … oh never mind. Stay here and finish your breakfast. I’ll be off to the drawing room now to see to Mlle Messaline and her companion.”

************

“Bonjour mes demoiselles! Sorry to have kept you waiting. I trust that Briggs has offered you refreshments and seen to your every comfort.”

“Oui, Seigneur Wragg. But I must say that this German Riesling he has served us pales to insignificance against a good Anjou Chenin Blanc, no?”

“My apologies Mlle Messaline. I simply don’t know how Briggs could have been so culturally thoughtless. Now tell me, who is this young lady who has accompanied you to Cruxton Abbey?”

IMG_5891.jpeg

“Ah forgive me. This is Judith, my lover. She makes me so very happy, especially when she applies the whip! We understand that Cruxton Abbey has a fully-equipped dungeon that we might take advantage of during our stay here. I’ve also been told the guest rooms here are equipped with four poster beds, no?”

“Well, uh … yes, they are.”

“Tres bien! We shall then require ankle and wrist cuff restraints as well. And perhaps a few other ‘love tools’.”

“I take it you will be staying with us here for some time then?”

“But of course. We are here to assist Mr Tree in the preparations for the ‘grand spectacle’, no? And we wish to be participants, as well!”

“I see.”

“One more thing, Lord Wragg. Here is our invoice for the premium French materials that Monsieur Tree has ordered for the event. I hope you will find it satisfactory, no?”

“Um, let’s see … oh … uh … £28,000! That’s a lot of money. Are you certain that’s correct?”

“Oui, and it includes a generous 15 percent discount, as you can see. Now, perhaps you can have your majordome … Briggs, is it? … show us to our guest room? And, if it wouldn’t be an inconvenience, a tour of the dungeon as well?”

“I’ll see to it.”


TBC
 
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Barbaria1 said:
these two behemoths … his words, not mine … apparently managed to sniff out the household staff girls’ quarters. And, well ….”
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:facepalm:

Barbaria1 said:
You know how I feel, dear, about the French!
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She thinks Messaline might guillotine her.... :rolleyes:

Barbaria1 said:
£28,000!
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The clue is in the word 'premium'. :(

Barbaria1 said:
And, if it wouldn’t be an inconvenience, a tour of the dungeon as well?
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No inconvenience at all.... :smilie-devil:
 
Barbaria1 said:
6.

“Wragg! What’s causing that infernal racket out in the rose garden? It’s been going on since dawn!” Groused Lady Wragg, looking up at her husband from her morning cup of tea.

“Uh, it’s T.H. Tree and his crew, m’love. They’ve been out there this morning erecting a scaffolding and gibbet, in addition to preparing several crux crosses … all very necessary, you understand … we must have props prepared in order to stage our event.”

“Crew? What crew?”

Oh, yes, I forgot to tell you. Tree’s assistants, Bull and Gunner, arrived from the States after you went to bed last night.”

“Oh dear, I do hope Briggs gave them a proper welcome and got them situated in suitable guest rooms.”

“Well, he did. But says he was a bit chagrined to find this morning that the beds in the guest rooms hadn’t been slept in.”

“What? Where then did they spend the night?”

“According to Briggs, these two behemoths … his words, not mine … apparently managed to sniff out the household staff girls’ quarters. And, well ….”

“Oh no! So that’s why Barb was walking about looking so stiff-legged and sore when she served my breakfast this morning!”

“Suspect so. I found she left a letter of employee complaint on my desk this morning. I didn’t bother to read it … just chucked it in a desk drawer with all the others she’d left since she arrived and entered service here.”

“Ahem … if I may interrupt, m’Lord?”

“Yes? What is it Briggs.”

“Uh … a lorry appears to have pulled up on the drive overnight. The logo on the side is in French, and I believe I’m correct in translating it to: ‘Mlle Messaline, Purveyor of French Premium Wood and Hemp, Anjou, France’. Apparently, Tree’s men, Bull and Gunner, have unloaded its cargo already and taken it out back to M’Lady’s rose garden.”

“I see.”

“But there’s more. Mlle @messaline and her companion Judith are here to see you. It seems they have an invoice for services rendered they wish for you to pay. They’re also demanding lodging here at the manor. I’ve asked them kindly to wait for you in the drawing room.”

“Invoice? Lodging?” Exclaimed Lady Wragg. “What’s going on? You know how I feel, dear, about the French!”

“Calm down, my dear. It’s all part of the arrangement we’ve entered into with Mr. Tree.”

“He’s not really planning to hang or crucify anyone until they’re dead, is he?”

“No dear. Try to remember that it’s strictly a show we’re intending to put on. A show designed to titillate and delight. But, of course, no one will die. Although I must admit there are times with our Barb when … oh never mind. Stay here and finish your breakfast. I’ll be off to the drawing room now to see to Mlle Messaline and her companion.”

************

“Bonjour mes demoiselles! Sorry to have kept you waiting. I trust that Briggs has offered you refreshments and seen to your every comfort.”

“Oui, Seigneur Wragg. But I must say that this German Riesling he had served us pales to insignificance against a good Anjou Chenin Blanc, no?”

“My apologies Mlle Messaline. I simply don’t know how Briggs could have been so culturally thoughtless. Now tell me, who is this young lady who has accompanied you to Cruxton Abbey?”

“Ah forgive me. This is Judith, my lover. She makes me so very happy, especially when she applies the whip! We understand that Cruxton Abbey has a fully-equipped dungeon that we might take advantage of during our stay here. I’ve also been told the guest rooms here are equipped with four poster beds, no?”

“Well, uh … yes, they are.”

“Tres bien! We shall then require ankle and wrist cuff restraints, as well. And perhaps a few other ‘love tools’.”

“I take it you will be staying with us here for some time then?”

“But of course. We are here to assist Mr Tree in the preparations for the ‘grand spectacle’, no? And we wish to be participants, as well!”

“I see.”

“One more thing, Lord Wragg. Here is our invoice for the premium French materials that Monsieur Tree has ordered for the event. I hope you will find it satisfactory, no?”

“Um, let’s see … oh … uh … £28,000! That’s a lot of money. Are you certain that’s correct?”

“Oui, and it includes a generous 15 percent discount, as you can see. Now, perhaps you can have your majordome … Briggs, is it? … show us to our guest room? And, if it wouldn’t be an inconvenience, a tour of the dungeon as well?”

“I’ll see to it.”


TBC
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Bedroom "love tools" for Messaline and Judith? I think they are more interested in the "tools" in the dungeon. :devil::cool:
 
Wragg said:
The clue is in the word 'premium'. :(
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Speaking of which, has anyone thought to consult the broker about INSURANCE for the Cruxton Abbey "event?" Lloyd's of London might underwrite this fiasco, but only if the female staff and the volunteer dungeon damsels (who have not been selected yet) are made available to the pin-striped, umbrella-carrying underwriters for their prurient lust.
 
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