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Crucifixion And You: How Did The Idea Start?

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Fox-on-Cross said:
But we boys...
may I say...
must do an aftermath for masturbation. When the age was ripe (12 years?) unexpectly the sperm comes out in a wave, time after time. What to do with it?
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I always had a supply of 'used' handkerchiefs. I blew my nose a few times, then let them dry. Then mopped up the sperm. Let them dry again. Put them in laundry. Mother never said a word. I wonder if she knew? I wonder if she guessed what I did behind the locked bedroom door. Would she have been as shocked as I thought she would be? Like most people here, I thought my ideas were unique.

And Sassi, are you absolutely sure they never saw the nails? They never said anything but........ The act of doing something secret at that age was exciting for me as well, almost as important as the erotic act being done.
 
old slave said:
The act of doing something secret at that age was exciting for me as well, almost as important as the erotic act being done.
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I guess that was the motive for stripping and running about naked in the Forest
long before there was any real erotic feeling, it was just a naughty and therefore exciting thing to do :D
 
Eulalia said:
I guess that was the motive for stripping and running about naked in the Forest
long before there was any real erotic feeling, it was just a naughty and therefore exciting thing to do :D
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Now I come to think about it (I was only 9 or 10 years old) I can't remember whether the naughty aspects of self-bondage and nakedness was uppermost in my mind, or the erotic aspect. I certainly also remember running naked (alone) in woods near my home at that age.
Once the sexual urge definitely kicked in, I was hooked on the whole "I am a slave" thing, which has bubbled away sometimes deep, sometimes dominant, through two marriages and a relationship. Always in secret from the rest of the world including my partners. Now expressed in this forum.
 
Catholic spirituality is also:
to undergo physical pain every day by kneeling on wood, lay a ribbon over your femur, under your breast, work till you are half dead, not much eat when you are hungry, stay at night nudely in the corridor, sleep on a hard and cold bed (or as eastern monks only sitting sleep), and bound yourself where it is even possible. All those thing where a stupid (wo-)man never thinks on.

For a man is to lay a ribbon around the scrotum delicious, or use therefore little belts with fibula. Dangerous is that a woman can see you walking with a stiff penis under your trousers.
 
'ribbon'? I think you mean a chain or similar (cilice) ;)
 
an amazing website: http://www.cilice.co.uk/
'buy cilice!' 'buy hairshirt, discipline, etc.!'
'buy miscellaneous!' (the mind boggles :p)
PS the misc. is mostly liturgical apparatus,
but you can buy a crown of thorns from the Holy Land.
 
Eulalia said:
an amazing website: http://www.cilice.co.uk/
'buy cilice!' 'buy hairshirt, discipline, etc.!'
'buy miscellaneous!' (the mind boggles :p)
PS the misc. is mostly liturgical apparatus,
but you can buy a crown of thorns from the Holy Land.
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looks like you can earn a plenary indulgence
 
Eulalia said:
an amazing website: http://www.cilice.co.uk/
'buy cilice!' 'buy hairshirt, discipline, etc.!'
'buy miscellaneous!' (the mind boggles :p)
PS the misc. is mostly liturgical apparatus,
but you can buy a crown of thorns from the Holy Land.
Click to expand...

Unbelievable, never known that such a (web-)shop exists! But wiser now I think that severe RC organizations do have a stock in house. Strong men also have a personal whip.
That book, how clever for the discretion, as we are here too. But no chance to pass the detection poles on the airport.

Saying like Messaline I imagine this to know for me! But the difference with religious is that we live in prosperity.

Thanks Eulalia!
 
Hm...good question, I've always tried to remember when exactly I began my fascination with crucifixion but I think the answer is just that I (like many others) was born with it. I can't pinpoint one "ah-ha!" moment where it struck me, it's just always been in me. I remember growing up catholic and how I got to admire a huge crucifix every Sunday...Jesus with his arms stretched so wide, held to the cross by giant nails in his wrists, his body hanging and his feet pierced with another nail...it was gorgeous. I remember staring at it in the service and wishing I was the one nailed to the cross. So maybe that has something to do with it. But I had a pretty strong draw to it my whole life, like whenever I could I would read about Jesus being crucified, I read dozens of books about it...I even remember taking art books from the library to find old master paintings of the crucifixion. To this day I have a large collection of crucifixion prints. So...I don't know, seeing an image of a person stretched and nailed to a cross is something profoundly beautiful to me. It wasn't until I hit puberty that I realized crucifixion got me wet, sometimes I feel ashamed of it, like it's blasphemy but I can't help it. But it is nice to know we aren't alone in this
 
CrossMyHeart89 said:
Hm...good question, I've always tried to remember when exactly I began my fascination with crucifixion but I think the answer is just that I (like many others) was born with it. I can't pinpoint one "ah-ha!" moment where it struck me, it's just always been in me. I remember growing up catholic and how I got to admire a huge crucifix every Sunday...Jesus with his arms stretched so wide, held to the cross by giant nails in his wrists, his body hanging and his feet pierced with another nail...it was gorgeous. I remember staring at it in the service and wishing I was the one nailed to the cross. So maybe that has something to do with it. But I had a pretty strong draw to it my whole life, like whenever I could I would read about Jesus being crucified, I read dozens of books about it...I even remember taking art books from the library to find old master paintings of the crucifixion. To this day I have a large collection of crucifixion prints. So...I don't know, seeing an image of a person stretched and nailed to a cross is something profoundly beautiful to me. It wasn't until I hit puberty that I realized crucifixion got me wet, sometimes I feel ashamed of it, like it's blasphemy but I can't help it. But it is nice to know we aren't alone in this
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Yes, you are not alone.
 
CrossMyHeart89 said:
Hm...good question, I've always tried to remember when exactly I began my fascination with crucifixion but I think the answer is just that I (like many others) was born with it. I can't pinpoint one "ah-ha!" moment where it struck me, it's just always been in me. I remember growing up catholic and how I got to admire a huge crucifix every Sunday...Jesus with his arms stretched so wide, held to the cross by giant nails in his wrists, his body hanging and his feet pierced with another nail...it was gorgeous. I remember staring at it in the service and wishing I was the one nailed to the cross. So maybe that has something to do with it. But I had a pretty strong draw to it my whole life, like whenever I could I would read about Jesus being crucified, I read dozens of books about it...I even remember taking art books from the library to find old master paintings of the crucifixion. To this day I have a large collection of crucifixion prints. So...I don't know, seeing an image of a person stretched and nailed to a cross is something profoundly beautiful to me. It wasn't until I hit puberty that I realized crucifixion got me wet, sometimes I feel ashamed of it, like it's blasphemy but I can't help it. But it is nice to know we aren't alone in this.
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So with me too, never to forget the giant cross in the church. For instruction that the believers realize who suffered for our salvation. Why may we not have our own suffering? Did you never practiced it?
 
When I can no longer say exactly started it with me . Approximately when I was 17 years old . Since that time, I enjoy my cross where I crucify myself . The cross I do not see as an execution unit but for me the crucifixion always has a sexual background . Therefore, always naked.
 
I remember as a little girl playing on the playground on a climbing frame. You know the ones. You hang off them as you climb. I loved them.
One day i was running through tbe woods with another girl. We were about 13 i guess. It was Summer and a lovely warm afternoon. We came to a huge old tree and started to climb it. After a while we found a limb we could hang from. We started hanging there till my friend pulled off her top. She hung there in her shorts and asked me who she was. I couldnt think till she spread her arms out crucified. ' Im Jesus ' she said. On the cross.
It wasnt long before i wanted my go. Stripping off my top i copied my friend spreading my arms and hanging there. We did that on and off all afternoon. I think it may also have been my first sight of a mostly naked girl when i got sexually aroused.
I still go there to that tree. I still strip off. I like it now when i get a summer shower as i hang. I like the rain glistening on my bare skin. Xxx
 
Fox-on-Cross said:
So with me too, never to forget the giant cross in the church. For instruction that the believers realize who suffered for our salvation. Why may we not have our own suffering? Did you never practiced it?
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Unfortunately I've never practiced it...I'm afraid I've never met someone with whom I'm open enough to share my crux dream...and I would also have to trust the person completely before I'd let them crucify me...so until the day that I meet that special person, I shall sadly remain a crucifixion virgin.
 
Celticvirgin said:
I remember as a little girl playing on the playground on a climbing frame. You know the ones. You hang off them as you climb. I loved them.
One day i was running through tbe woods with another girl. We were about 13 i guess. It was Summer and a lovely warm afternoon. We came to a huge old tree and started to climb it. After a while we found a limb we could hang from. We started hanging there till my friend pulled off her top. She hung there in her shorts and asked me who she was. I couldnt think till she spread her arms out crucified. ' Im Jesus ' she said. On the cross.
It wasnt long before i wanted my go. Stripping off my top i copied my friend spreading my arms and hanging there. We did that on and off all afternoon. I think it may also have been my first sight of a mostly naked girl when i got sexually aroused.
I still go there to that tree. I still strip off. I like it now when i get a summer shower as i hang. I like the rain glistening on my bare skin. Xxx
Click to expand...
The rich sensuality in that story begs an artist, photographer or film maker to bring it into focus, however the words do paint a vivid picture. Wow!
 
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