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Crucifixion And You: How Did The Idea Start?
- Thread starter Simpson
- Start date
BondageBoy
Magistrate
My interest in crucifixion started when I was a young boy...maybe 10 or 12. I'd look at pictures/paintings and crucifixes and imagine myself as a young Roman slave boy hanging on a cross in a small, loose fitting loincloth. My first "real" crucifixion happened when I was in 8th grade and I made a cross in some woods behind my house. I stripped down to my briefs and slipped my arms through some ropes, standing on a log for a footrest and found it very sexually arousing. After that I started hanging in a loincloth or nude and tried to see each time if I could hang a little longer.
joe stevens
Assistant executioner
My interest in crucifixion has evolved from my passion for nakedness and vulnerability. I love being exposed, particularly (naturally!) to women. And the exposure of helpless women to my gaze and my touch.... The torture, whipping, pain, rape have been added to this, and led to the concept of crucifixion which gives me everything in one package. Thoroughly enjoying this web site...given me many enjoyable hours!
Simpson
Assistant executioner
And how long were you able to last as a young one?
Making crosses in the woods behind the house.... Now why didn't I ever think of that? Oh yes... Mosquitoes.
Simpson.
Tygorn
Magistrate
This is a very beautiful thread, very personal and reminding of the "fate" that got you yourself.... I want to share my part:
As a kid I was already very interested in everything about the Roman Empire, loved even these cheap italian sword-and-sandals movies from the 60ies on TV, even about Hercules and Maciste, watched all the famous bible movies on TV every easter and christmas. I had very religous grandparents, where I did spend a lot of time in my youth - and in the puberty I experienced this strange attraction to the men in these movies, men with loinclothes, with long wild hair, ragged clothing, sandals and beards... but becoming or being "gay" was a mortal sin for my grandparents and not allowed and so (at least thats my theory) the "gay" fixation turned to another subject, which could not be a "sin" by definition: the Jesus character.
At that time I has severe problems at school and with my parents (especially my father), adding the sado-masochistic aspect (again, thats my theory) to the forbidden, suppressed "gay" religion-induced interest: crucifixion and the passion of Jesus.
In the following years (remember, that was before the internet-era) I collected all books, passion pictures and stories, classic art, movies (yeah, that was on VHS video cassette recorder) about the topic. my mother was pleasently surprised about my sudden interest in classic art and visiting churches
For many years I did not understand the "psychological" background completely and had to struggle accepting my "fate", since I believed, I was alone on the world with this "interest". I had to hide it. I felt very lonely. When I tried to "play" or "re-act" crucifixion fantasies myself I only did it alone - in the nature, far away from home, carrying wooden "cross-beams" barefoot and with a towel around my loins and then imaginating getting "nailed" to them.
Many years later, with the starting internet, I found out that there are other people sharing this interest, which was a huge revelation. The website of "Sejanus Praetorean", the founder of "crucim" was the first place I visited. Lots of other stuff should follow in the years to come...
Still I cant define exactly whats behind all this, but certain points of interest seem to stay constant, for example the slender, stretched male body on the cross. I love it so much, when in depictions or church statues the body of Jesus is stretched in a way that you can count every rib of the ribcage and every muscle detail of the upper body. Another favorite of mine was always the stripping scene before the crucifixion. And the nailing, of course - maybe "nailing" is a suppressed, weird turned psychological synonyme for "penetration", who knows...
Story-wise I did always like the classic christian myth of the "perspective of the good thief" enduring the crucifixion at the side of Christ and being saved.
Now, being old myself, I am aware that it will last for the rest of my life. Accepting it was a long way. I got a huge collection of stuff over the last 30 years but still searching as long as possible.
best regards
Ty.
As a kid I was already very interested in everything about the Roman Empire, loved even these cheap italian sword-and-sandals movies from the 60ies on TV, even about Hercules and Maciste, watched all the famous bible movies on TV every easter and christmas. I had very religous grandparents, where I did spend a lot of time in my youth - and in the puberty I experienced this strange attraction to the men in these movies, men with loinclothes, with long wild hair, ragged clothing, sandals and beards... but becoming or being "gay" was a mortal sin for my grandparents and not allowed and so (at least thats my theory) the "gay" fixation turned to another subject, which could not be a "sin" by definition: the Jesus character.
At that time I has severe problems at school and with my parents (especially my father), adding the sado-masochistic aspect (again, thats my theory) to the forbidden, suppressed "gay" religion-induced interest: crucifixion and the passion of Jesus.
In the following years (remember, that was before the internet-era) I collected all books, passion pictures and stories, classic art, movies (yeah, that was on VHS video cassette recorder) about the topic. my mother was pleasently surprised about my sudden interest in classic art and visiting churches
For many years I did not understand the "psychological" background completely and had to struggle accepting my "fate", since I believed, I was alone on the world with this "interest". I had to hide it. I felt very lonely. When I tried to "play" or "re-act" crucifixion fantasies myself I only did it alone - in the nature, far away from home, carrying wooden "cross-beams" barefoot and with a towel around my loins and then imaginating getting "nailed" to them.
Many years later, with the starting internet, I found out that there are other people sharing this interest, which was a huge revelation. The website of "Sejanus Praetorean", the founder of "crucim" was the first place I visited. Lots of other stuff should follow in the years to come...
Still I cant define exactly whats behind all this, but certain points of interest seem to stay constant, for example the slender, stretched male body on the cross. I love it so much, when in depictions or church statues the body of Jesus is stretched in a way that you can count every rib of the ribcage and every muscle detail of the upper body. Another favorite of mine was always the stripping scene before the crucifixion. And the nailing, of course - maybe "nailing" is a suppressed, weird turned psychological synonyme for "penetration", who knows...
Story-wise I did always like the classic christian myth of the "perspective of the good thief" enduring the crucifixion at the side of Christ and being saved.
Now, being old myself, I am aware that it will last for the rest of my life. Accepting it was a long way. I got a huge collection of stuff over the last 30 years but still searching as long as possible.
best regards
Ty.
I mean, here you'll still find more material although the focus of the Forum crucified women. Welcome!This is a very beautiful thread, very personal and reminding of the "fate" that got you yourself.... I want to share my part:
As a kid I was already very interested in everything about the Roman Empire, loved even these cheap italian sword-and-sandals movies from the 60ies on TV, even about Hercules and Maciste, watched all the famous bible movies on TV every easter and christmas. I had very religous grandparents, where I did spend a lot of time in my youth - and in the puberty I experienced this strange attraction to the men in these movies, men with loinclothes, with long wild hair, ragged clothing, sandals and beards... but becoming or being "gay" was a mortal sin for my grandparents and not allowed and so (at least thats my theory) the "gay" fixation turned to another subject, which could not be a "sin" by definition: the Jesus character.
At that time I has severe problems at school and with my parents (especially my father), adding the sado-masochistic aspect (again, thats my theory) to the forbidden, suppressed "gay" religion-induced interest: crucifixion and the passion of Jesus.
In the following years (remember, that was before the internet-era) I collected all books, passion pictures and stories, classic art, movies (yeah, that was on VHS video cassette recorder) about the topic. my mother was pleasently surprised about my sudden interest in classic art and visiting churches
For many years I did not understand the "psychological" background completely and had to struggle accepting my "fate", since I believed, I was alone on the world with this "interest". I had to hide it. I felt very lonely. When I tried to "play" or "re-act" crucifixion fantasies myself I only did it alone - in the nature, far away from home, carrying wooden "cross-beams" barefoot and with a towel around my loins and then imaginating getting "nailed" to them.
Many years later, with the starting internet, I found out that there are other people sharing this interest, which was a huge revelation. The website of "Sejanus Praetorean", the founder of "crucim" was the first place I visited. Lots of other stuff should follow in the years to come...
Still I cant define exactly whats behind all this, but certain points of interest seem to stay constant, for example the slender, stretched male body on the cross. I love it so much, when in depictions or church statues the body of Jesus is stretched in a way that you can count every rib of the ribcage and every muscle detail of the upper body. Another favorite of mine was always the stripping scene before the crucifixion. And the nailing, of course - maybe "nailing" is a suppressed, weird turned psychological synonyme for "penetration", who knows...
Story-wise I did always like the classic christian myth of the "perspective of the good thief" enduring the crucifixion at the side of Christ and being saved.
Now, being old myself, I am aware that it will last for the rest of my life. Accepting it was a long way. I got a huge collection of stuff over the last 30 years but still searching as long as possible.
best regards
Ty.
Damian
Governor
I want to add my take on this. I remember seeing movies in the 50's, very young, about "martyrs" and damsels in distress and finding them exciting, and when told that these things actually happened through history, that was it, I was hooked.
My dad Tony had a penchant for American "girly" comics, magazines and novellas with decidedly S&M content with rape and mayhem against beautiful defenceless damsels being the basic themes. From, I think about 10-11. I got to looking at these which he kept in a drawer by his bed, (careful what you leave in the reach of kids), anyway, I always got off on fantasising about both being the perpetrator and the victim in some cases!
I started doing such drawing at first in Art School after doing figure drawing or painting, twice a week, and kept then strictly to myself, until I showed one friend who was horrified and I haven't seen him since. I continued secretly doing images like that but unfortunately destroyed them over time, lest they be seen by others!
And then along came computers and the Internet, and I started doing first some digital paintings for a site, torturedrawing, which soon turned into photo manipulations, mainly because I desire high realism to get off, but also because I needed to do these quite quickly to meet my obligations to supply images to the site, and since about 1999-2000 I have inundated the internet with images!
Damian
My dad Tony had a penchant for American "girly" comics, magazines and novellas with decidedly S&M content with rape and mayhem against beautiful defenceless damsels being the basic themes. From, I think about 10-11. I got to looking at these which he kept in a drawer by his bed, (careful what you leave in the reach of kids), anyway, I always got off on fantasising about both being the perpetrator and the victim in some cases!
I started doing such drawing at first in Art School after doing figure drawing or painting, twice a week, and kept then strictly to myself, until I showed one friend who was horrified and I haven't seen him since. I continued secretly doing images like that but unfortunately destroyed them over time, lest they be seen by others!
And then along came computers and the Internet, and I started doing first some digital paintings for a site, torturedrawing, which soon turned into photo manipulations, mainly because I desire high realism to get off, but also because I needed to do these quite quickly to meet my obligations to supply images to the site, and since about 1999-2000 I have inundated the internet with images!
Damian
Attachments
BondageBoy
Magistrate
I usually lasted about an hour or hour and a half. My loincloth usually fell off of me because of my body movements, which made my crucifixions seem that much more "real". I imagined myself hanging with other slave boys who were being punished for petty crimes.
He's already been around a while, Madiosi
though he doesn't post much. Thanks for the account Tygorn. It's good to find that you are not alone, that your journey was not so strange. We've all arrived here by way of unusual impulses and small discoveries. Some of us have hung from beams as teenagers, some developed an interest in religious imagery. Some have wondered if there was something wrong with us.Here we are among like minded friends, smart and funny and kindhearted people. Not so odd, not so alone. We can see that it is possible to be a balanced individual in the world outside and still have these cravings.
I think that's good!
PS yes I hung by the hands from beams as a teenager, stretched myself on the ground as if on a cross, drew very poor pictures, and imagined figures on trees by the side of the road. Finding the old Crux group was a happy day!
D
Deleted member 16639
Guest
My interest in crucifixions began very early. I accompanied my grandmother in the church when I was seven years old.
From the celebration of the mass I did not get so mucz. I had eyes only for the large crucifix behind the altar. I could not take my eyes away from that half-naked body, which hung with outstretched arms on the giant cross, held by large nails, which were hit through the wrists and bare feet.
It fascinated me. I stared at the man nailed to the cross and tried to imagine what it would be, even to hang there, delivered with nails through the wrists and feet, almost naked, in front of the eyes of many people.
I got heart palpitations at the thought of being nailed to a cross.
After the Mass, the women were standing a while together talking. I wandered through the church. I followed the stations of the Cross. There were paintings on the side wall of the church. Full of fascination, I looked at the picture, on which Jesus was hold down on the cross and a soldier nailed his feet.
In the picture, only one nail was used. Two soldiers were holding Jesus lower legs and they held his right foot on the left, and the third soldier drove a giant nail through both feet. Heart pounding, I tried to imagine the pain this horrible nailing must have produce.
Then I looked at the picture, on which hung all three crucifixes on their crosses. Again the victims, one foot had been nailed over the other in each case. A single nail held both feet, Jesus and with the two robbers. I looked at the picture and then I looked to the crucifix behind the altar. There, the feet of Jesus, stood side by side and trough each foot, a nail was driven.
I liked that more. I went to the altar, watching the large crucifix close to. Again I got palpitations. I could not turn my eyes away. It was only when my grandmother called, I turned around and went to her. Before we left the church, I turned around again and took a last look at the image of the half-naked body on the cross.
In bed at night I spread out my arms and bent my knees slightly and put my feet together and then I imagined that I was nailed to a cross.
I began to go into churches when they were open. I looked at the crucifixes and the Cross stations. These were mostly paintings. Here I met the T-Cross and I saw that the robbers were sometimes tied with ropes rather than nailed.
When it was bathing time I introduced myself sometimes undressed on the bathroom wall, spread my arms and set me on my toes. I played that also later in my own room. Especially exciting, I found myself to undress completely. On the cross you are naked, so you have to be ashamed and humiliated. Anyway caused my games tremendous palpitations to me.
My first "real" Crucifixion I experienced with eight or nine years. I was visiting my aunt. My two cousins, twin sisters at my age, had a double bed. One slept downstairs, the other one upstairs. The top bunk had a low security grid.
My cousins invented a game. They called it "enduring" or something like that. For this we were standing at the lower bed with feet on the lower bed and hung with outstreched arms from the security grid of the upper bed. Then we went from the bottom bed and let our feet dangle in the air.
One counted slowly the seconds everyone could endure.
For my cousins that was just a funny game. For me it was much more. I was totally excited and had insane palpitations.
You had to endure at least to 100. I even managed 400. I would have endured longer , but it was incredibly difficult to hold my bodyweigth all the time with my hands on the grid.
I wished so hard, to be tied at my wrists and ankles to that bed. That would have been a real crucifixion. I could have let myself fall into the bondage and could devote myself to my helplessness.
So it went on. I always imagined crucifixion scenes. I coulden´t any climbing frame on playgrounds without hanging myself on it. Most of all I liked to hang with arms outstretched and my toes just reaching the ground or a crossbar of the climbing scaffold and then silently counting the seconds to see how long I could stand it.
I had fantasies of a school, in which one has been punished. For every little mistake one ended up on the cross. There was a cross at the wall in each classroom, were „bad girls“ where bound to and there were very high crosses in the schoolyard. Who had done something particularly bad, landed on such a cross. For this purpose, it was enough to have forgotten the homework.
The girls, who were crucified in the schoolyard, had to strip naked as punishment - a very bad humiliation.
Then I got down there in front of the cross and looked to the crucified girl that completely pulled of her clothing an hung on the beam, exposed to the gaze of all students in absolutely helplessness.
I loved the sight and even more I loved it to be self-tied naked to such a cross. Then I hung up there and was ashamed terribly. I came to shame and if I long enough on the cross, I cried out in pain, while the students mocked at me.
I would have given anything to be a student at such a school. I wished with all my heart, to be crucified in public. Just the idea of having to undress naked in front the eyes of all the students, gave me heart bumbings. This humiliation! Everyone could see it when I hung naked on the cross.
I was ashamed and I suffered and I begged pitifully for mercy. I loved this fantasy.
Mostly, I was tied up with ropes in my imagination, but I secretly dreamed of being nailed. I knew a nailing would mean excruciating pain. Nevertheless, I dreamed of experiencing it.
I imagined how they took off my clothes and put me naked on the cross. Then I was nailed on the wood. In my imagination I felt exactly how they did beat nails through my hands and feet.
At that time I did not know that the nails had been driven in ancient Rome through the wrists. I found out later.
So I dreamed that they hammered the nails through my palms.
However, I never wanted to experience a crucifixion, which led to death. Neither I wanted to watch it.
In my imagination a crucifixion took only a certain number of hours and then the victim was taken down from the cross and the wounds were healed.
One of my most loved fantasies was that several selected girls were crucified outside the city, in order to appease the terrible dragon king or another monster.
By enduring the pain the monster was rendered calm and harmless and the roads in the Kingdom were for a whole year free and open.
Only girls could do this sacrifice. We were selected by lot and then brought to the crucifixion site. We were nailed to the cross and had to suffer for a whole day. After the ordeal, we were taken down from the cross and healed by a priestess. We were bathed in a sacred pond and the water healed our wounds in less than five minutes.
We were washed and thereafter clothed in simple linen tunics. We got golden bands around the wrists and ankles and walked barefoot through the city. The citizens celebrated us cross girls. Everyone wanted to touch us and they praised us: "Oh just see! This brave girls! You did the sacrifices for all of us! "
At that time I had a gym teacher who let us girls always doing gymnastics at school barefoot. She said that will power the strength of the ligaments and tendons, but I think she just wanted to prevent girls could specify from wealthy families with their expensive sports shoes.
I loved being barefoot during gymnastics and to feel the polished wooden floor of the gymnasium under my bare soles. When I looked at the bare feet of my classmates, I imagined how nails were hammered through these feet.
I had also a fantasy of a girls' school where every girl had at least once a week be tied to a cross to pay for the sins of the world. I liked the idea that I had to suffer for the sins of the world and I had to pay for it. Each girl had to stand at least once a week for an hour on the cross, but it was welcome, if she went to the cross more often.
Of course, I was the volunteer who went daily to the cross and I always held out for several hours. How I wished I would have been at such a school!
In addition to tying with ropes the nailing was present always in my fantasies. It was clear that a real nailing would cause terrible damage. That's why I dreamed from sacred ponds and caves or other methods, all wounds to be healed completely after the crucifixion. Although I really wanted to be nailed, but not being a cripple.
With about eleven years I bought from my pocket money small dog collars and made additional holes in this "handcuffs", so I could put it around my wrists and ankles.
In our attic there were wooden roof supports in the form of a large Y. There I hit big, stable nails in such a way that it protruded upward. Down on the floor I nailed a wooden wedge the post, so I had an downwardly facing footrest.
I stood with my back against the Y-posts and stretched my body in the height to mount my "handcuffs" at the nails. After that, I hung the "shackles" of my feet in the downer nails and then I was crucified. That was the greatest feeling in the world for me!
The suspension! The tension on my arms and shoulders! That was great.
I always took off my clothes when I crucified myself. To be crucified naked, gave me intense palpitations. I was always afraid of getting caught. But I had to do it naked.
Eventually, I had to pull out the upper nails for the handcuffs and pursue new, because my arms and legs got longer. I grew bigger each year.
My family has never noticed anything. No one saw the nails into the bar, maybe because they showed to the front wall of the house, at the back end of the attic. It was my sweet secret!
I got an old clock and exercised, as long as possible to endure "on the cross". Soon I managed an hour and more. It was a fantastic feeling to have to endure that long. But I wished always to be really tied up and it would be impossible for my to get away from the cross by myself. I have unfortunately never experienced.
But nobody could take my dreams away from me ...
From the celebration of the mass I did not get so mucz. I had eyes only for the large crucifix behind the altar. I could not take my eyes away from that half-naked body, which hung with outstretched arms on the giant cross, held by large nails, which were hit through the wrists and bare feet.
It fascinated me. I stared at the man nailed to the cross and tried to imagine what it would be, even to hang there, delivered with nails through the wrists and feet, almost naked, in front of the eyes of many people.
I got heart palpitations at the thought of being nailed to a cross.
After the Mass, the women were standing a while together talking. I wandered through the church. I followed the stations of the Cross. There were paintings on the side wall of the church. Full of fascination, I looked at the picture, on which Jesus was hold down on the cross and a soldier nailed his feet.
In the picture, only one nail was used. Two soldiers were holding Jesus lower legs and they held his right foot on the left, and the third soldier drove a giant nail through both feet. Heart pounding, I tried to imagine the pain this horrible nailing must have produce.
Then I looked at the picture, on which hung all three crucifixes on their crosses. Again the victims, one foot had been nailed over the other in each case. A single nail held both feet, Jesus and with the two robbers. I looked at the picture and then I looked to the crucifix behind the altar. There, the feet of Jesus, stood side by side and trough each foot, a nail was driven.
I liked that more. I went to the altar, watching the large crucifix close to. Again I got palpitations. I could not turn my eyes away. It was only when my grandmother called, I turned around and went to her. Before we left the church, I turned around again and took a last look at the image of the half-naked body on the cross.
In bed at night I spread out my arms and bent my knees slightly and put my feet together and then I imagined that I was nailed to a cross.
I began to go into churches when they were open. I looked at the crucifixes and the Cross stations. These were mostly paintings. Here I met the T-Cross and I saw that the robbers were sometimes tied with ropes rather than nailed.
When it was bathing time I introduced myself sometimes undressed on the bathroom wall, spread my arms and set me on my toes. I played that also later in my own room. Especially exciting, I found myself to undress completely. On the cross you are naked, so you have to be ashamed and humiliated. Anyway caused my games tremendous palpitations to me.
My first "real" Crucifixion I experienced with eight or nine years. I was visiting my aunt. My two cousins, twin sisters at my age, had a double bed. One slept downstairs, the other one upstairs. The top bunk had a low security grid.
My cousins invented a game. They called it "enduring" or something like that. For this we were standing at the lower bed with feet on the lower bed and hung with outstreched arms from the security grid of the upper bed. Then we went from the bottom bed and let our feet dangle in the air.
One counted slowly the seconds everyone could endure.
For my cousins that was just a funny game. For me it was much more. I was totally excited and had insane palpitations.
You had to endure at least to 100. I even managed 400. I would have endured longer , but it was incredibly difficult to hold my bodyweigth all the time with my hands on the grid.
I wished so hard, to be tied at my wrists and ankles to that bed. That would have been a real crucifixion. I could have let myself fall into the bondage and could devote myself to my helplessness.
So it went on. I always imagined crucifixion scenes. I coulden´t any climbing frame on playgrounds without hanging myself on it. Most of all I liked to hang with arms outstretched and my toes just reaching the ground or a crossbar of the climbing scaffold and then silently counting the seconds to see how long I could stand it.
I had fantasies of a school, in which one has been punished. For every little mistake one ended up on the cross. There was a cross at the wall in each classroom, were „bad girls“ where bound to and there were very high crosses in the schoolyard. Who had done something particularly bad, landed on such a cross. For this purpose, it was enough to have forgotten the homework.
The girls, who were crucified in the schoolyard, had to strip naked as punishment - a very bad humiliation.
Then I got down there in front of the cross and looked to the crucified girl that completely pulled of her clothing an hung on the beam, exposed to the gaze of all students in absolutely helplessness.
I loved the sight and even more I loved it to be self-tied naked to such a cross. Then I hung up there and was ashamed terribly. I came to shame and if I long enough on the cross, I cried out in pain, while the students mocked at me.
I would have given anything to be a student at such a school. I wished with all my heart, to be crucified in public. Just the idea of having to undress naked in front the eyes of all the students, gave me heart bumbings. This humiliation! Everyone could see it when I hung naked on the cross.
I was ashamed and I suffered and I begged pitifully for mercy. I loved this fantasy.
Mostly, I was tied up with ropes in my imagination, but I secretly dreamed of being nailed. I knew a nailing would mean excruciating pain. Nevertheless, I dreamed of experiencing it.
I imagined how they took off my clothes and put me naked on the cross. Then I was nailed on the wood. In my imagination I felt exactly how they did beat nails through my hands and feet.
At that time I did not know that the nails had been driven in ancient Rome through the wrists. I found out later.
So I dreamed that they hammered the nails through my palms.
However, I never wanted to experience a crucifixion, which led to death. Neither I wanted to watch it.
In my imagination a crucifixion took only a certain number of hours and then the victim was taken down from the cross and the wounds were healed.
One of my most loved fantasies was that several selected girls were crucified outside the city, in order to appease the terrible dragon king or another monster.
By enduring the pain the monster was rendered calm and harmless and the roads in the Kingdom were for a whole year free and open.
Only girls could do this sacrifice. We were selected by lot and then brought to the crucifixion site. We were nailed to the cross and had to suffer for a whole day. After the ordeal, we were taken down from the cross and healed by a priestess. We were bathed in a sacred pond and the water healed our wounds in less than five minutes.
We were washed and thereafter clothed in simple linen tunics. We got golden bands around the wrists and ankles and walked barefoot through the city. The citizens celebrated us cross girls. Everyone wanted to touch us and they praised us: "Oh just see! This brave girls! You did the sacrifices for all of us! "
At that time I had a gym teacher who let us girls always doing gymnastics at school barefoot. She said that will power the strength of the ligaments and tendons, but I think she just wanted to prevent girls could specify from wealthy families with their expensive sports shoes.
I loved being barefoot during gymnastics and to feel the polished wooden floor of the gymnasium under my bare soles. When I looked at the bare feet of my classmates, I imagined how nails were hammered through these feet.
I had also a fantasy of a girls' school where every girl had at least once a week be tied to a cross to pay for the sins of the world. I liked the idea that I had to suffer for the sins of the world and I had to pay for it. Each girl had to stand at least once a week for an hour on the cross, but it was welcome, if she went to the cross more often.
Of course, I was the volunteer who went daily to the cross and I always held out for several hours. How I wished I would have been at such a school!
In addition to tying with ropes the nailing was present always in my fantasies. It was clear that a real nailing would cause terrible damage. That's why I dreamed from sacred ponds and caves or other methods, all wounds to be healed completely after the crucifixion. Although I really wanted to be nailed, but not being a cripple.
With about eleven years I bought from my pocket money small dog collars and made additional holes in this "handcuffs", so I could put it around my wrists and ankles.
In our attic there were wooden roof supports in the form of a large Y. There I hit big, stable nails in such a way that it protruded upward. Down on the floor I nailed a wooden wedge the post, so I had an downwardly facing footrest.
I stood with my back against the Y-posts and stretched my body in the height to mount my "handcuffs" at the nails. After that, I hung the "shackles" of my feet in the downer nails and then I was crucified. That was the greatest feeling in the world for me!
The suspension! The tension on my arms and shoulders! That was great.
I always took off my clothes when I crucified myself. To be crucified naked, gave me intense palpitations. I was always afraid of getting caught. But I had to do it naked.
Eventually, I had to pull out the upper nails for the handcuffs and pursue new, because my arms and legs got longer. I grew bigger each year.
My family has never noticed anything. No one saw the nails into the bar, maybe because they showed to the front wall of the house, at the back end of the attic. It was my sweet secret!
I got an old clock and exercised, as long as possible to endure "on the cross". Soon I managed an hour and more. It was a fantastic feeling to have to endure that long. But I wished always to be really tied up and it would be impossible for my to get away from the cross by myself. I have unfortunately never experienced.
But nobody could take my dreams away from me ...
malins
Stumbling Seeker
so much in there Sassi! ... just only this,
... we must have been visited by the same kinds of spirits...
D
Deleted member 16639
Guest
Hi Malins
Yes it seems so, doesn´t it?
When I was a teen I often dreamed scenes like that. I really loved it.
I´m thinking on making that fantasy to a Story. But I think the girls in that story have to be adult ones. Otherwise I would break rules.
Yes it seems so, doesn´t it?
When I was a teen I often dreamed scenes like that. I really loved it.I´m thinking on making that fantasy to a Story. But I think the girls in that story have to be adult ones. Otherwise I would break rules.
joe stevens
Assistant executioner
Yes, it probably would. The story sounds fascinating. If you were to write it, maybe offer it to those who would wish to read it privately?Hi Malins
Yes it seems so, doesn´t it?
I´m thinking on making that fantasy to a Story. But I think the girls in that story have to be adult ones. Otherwise I would break rules.
That's a lovely account, Sassi - so many memories a lot of us here share!
We've had similar stories, like
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/maria-on-the-cross.4363/
and the remembered fantasies of
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/the-girl-with-no-name.3952/
So long as they're obviously fantasy and consensual 'play',
I think such stories are reasonably 'safe' -
we'd happily advise if you want to submit a draft outline.
We've had similar stories, like
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/maria-on-the-cross.4363/
and the remembered fantasies of
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/the-girl-with-no-name.3952/
So long as they're obviously fantasy and consensual 'play',
I think such stories are reasonably 'safe' -
we'd happily advise if you want to submit a draft outline.
for Sassi in German
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/attachments/das-maedchen-ohne-namen-elfenbraut-epub.270991/
two stories in one book
D
Deleted member 16639
Guest
I allready know Elfenbrauts fantastic story. Great writing! It gave me some ideas for my new story.
D
Deleted member 16639
Guest
I could not take my eyes away from that half-naked body, which hung with outstretched arms on the giant cross, held by large nails, which were hit through the wrists and bare feet.
That is wrong! I made a mistake! This first look at a crucifix did Show of the nails through the PALMS! Sorry. Me wrote it wrong. I found out later that the nails were not driven through the Palms but through the wrists.
That is wrong! I made a mistake! This first look at a crucifix did Show of the nails through the PALMS! Sorry. Me wrote it wrong. I found out later that the nails were not driven through the Palms but through the wrists.
Fox-on-Cross
Great-Cruxinquisitor
So also for me, those nails in my sleeping- and studyroom and in addition in the corridor above the gas- and electricity closet.
From you a nicely written life-experience!
But we boys...
may I say...
must do an aftermath for masturbation. When the age was ripe (12 years?) unexpectly the sperm comes out in a wave, time after time. What to do with it? Tissues did not exist at that time so I smeared this under the carpet.
After years there became a snowy place but nobody saw this.
Attachments
Thessela
Beloved slavegirl
Oh 100x likes Sassi!
Your fantasies fill my imagination, so many are mine too!
I have not been crucified, but I have hung from branches and bars, and imagined wonderful things!