hb21
Magistrate
Under the effect of suffering, our limbs become flabby and small again. Every muscle, every tendon of my body is stunned with pain. I am inundated with sweat because of the water I drank. Every rush of pain increases my obsession with my suffering. I have to break this vicious circle. This is the only way to relieve my agony. I force myself to lift up, and open my eyes. My vision is blurred, I spend most of my time with my eyes closed avoiding the humiliation of being naked in front of passers-by but unfortunately also focused on my pain. I look around, and see the road empty of passers-by. Justin and I are alone, suffering alone on our crosses: naked and crucified. I feel my mind still return to my pain, and I focus on my environment. I see the road, and look below at the soldiers guarding us. They are at a distance, but I see them, playing dice and laughing, indifferent to our torture, our screams, our supplications. I feel my attention directed again to my agony, but I reject it. If I don't, I will soon be locked like Justin in my pain, unaware of the rest. I fight my pain, and focus on my environment. This is my last chance otherwise I will fall into the timeless pain that the slave described. I don't want that! I don't want to suffer any more!
My pain, my agony is horrible. I force my eyes to stay open. I focus more and more on my pain. I feel my body, tortured by the nails that pierce my flesh, by the Sun that roasts my skin tense, trembling. This endless agony and humiliation of being naked ruins my mind. I stretch my body on the cross, always gaining weight with my legs. I look at the guards. Don't they realize how I feel? Can't they understand? I call on them for help, let them at least finish me off, but they ignore me. They're just going to let me suffer. I know that, but I cannot accept it. I look at my nailed wrists, and I know I have to do something. I can't let myself be swallowed up by my pain. If I do nothing, focused, absorbed by her, time will seem frozen and no longer elapse. I will be on this cross for eternity! On my cross, in total agony, for eternity. I know it won't be forever, but it will seem like it to me. I gasp, endring waves of intense pain that assail my mind, as I begin to let myself hang by my wrists again and my wrists twist slightly on the nails. I feel severe pain in my wrists, arms, shoulders and chest as they are under incredible strain in this position. Every breath I suck in is a struggle, and it hurts me, it hurts the cramped muscles in my trunk, and I start focusing on every rush of pain again. No! I can't let myself be locked into my pain. If I do, it will make my torture much worse, and worse than all, will make it seem to last an eternity. I try and fight for the command of my mind, and my body, but the cross wins.
My pain, my agony is horrible. I force my eyes to stay open. I focus more and more on my pain. I feel my body, tortured by the nails that pierce my flesh, by the Sun that roasts my skin tense, trembling. This endless agony and humiliation of being naked ruins my mind. I stretch my body on the cross, always gaining weight with my legs. I look at the guards. Don't they realize how I feel? Can't they understand? I call on them for help, let them at least finish me off, but they ignore me. They're just going to let me suffer. I know that, but I cannot accept it. I look at my nailed wrists, and I know I have to do something. I can't let myself be swallowed up by my pain. If I do nothing, focused, absorbed by her, time will seem frozen and no longer elapse. I will be on this cross for eternity! On my cross, in total agony, for eternity. I know it won't be forever, but it will seem like it to me. I gasp, endring waves of intense pain that assail my mind, as I begin to let myself hang by my wrists again and my wrists twist slightly on the nails. I feel severe pain in my wrists, arms, shoulders and chest as they are under incredible strain in this position. Every breath I suck in is a struggle, and it hurts me, it hurts the cramped muscles in my trunk, and I start focusing on every rush of pain again. No! I can't let myself be locked into my pain. If I do, it will make my torture much worse, and worse than all, will make it seem to last an eternity. I try and fight for the command of my mind, and my body, but the cross wins.