Limericks

[twonines]

Now Barb is having a beef,
Because of Monty`s firm belief,
That her navigational skills
Are the root of all ills,
And she can`t get any relief.

 

[twonines]

Jokes about Barb and her steering,
We seem to be constantly hearing.
Events in the Canal
Are somewhat banal.
But we`ve not heard the last, I`m fearing.

 

[montycrusto]

Barbhepsut was Queen of the Nile,
She floated about in some style,
In a boat made of reeds
And despite her misdeeds,
She outshone other queens by a mile.

 

[twonines]

Barbhepsut was Queen of the Nile,
She floated about in some style,
In a boat made of reeds
And despite her misdeeds,
She outshone other queens by a mile.

One of your best, Monty.

 

[twonines]

Barb as an Egyptian Queen,
Is something not previously seen.
Is the acid test,
To press the asp to her breast,
Or is that being incredibly mean?

 

[Barbaria1]

Barb ordered a pyramid built
But it soon displayed a tilt
She cried, who did this?
Turned out Monty it is
Then see he gets a demerit

 

[montycrusto]

Barbhepsut declared with a gasp:
“Is this concept too complex to grasp?
I’m Queen of Egypt
And I might have you whipped
If you fondle my tight little asp.”

 

[twonines]

Queen Barb the Pyramids built,
Including the odd little tilt.
The smart little minx
Also erected the Sphynx,
Was this due to hubris or guilt?

 

[Wragg]

Queen Barb from a long time awhile
Is an excellent reason to smile
I'm searching for gen
For how, if, and when
She managed to block up the Nile?

 

[montycrusto]

Proudly the pyramids stand,
Atop Egypt’s desolate sand..
Like the tumescent tips
Of Queen Barbhepshut’s nips,
“Oh shit!” she said, “Not what I planned!”

 

[Barbaria1]

Queen Barb says enough is enough
Canal navigation is tough
The thing is so narrow
No room for a sparrow
Perhaps if I try in the buff?

 

[twonines]

To think of Queen Barb in the buff,
Is stimulation enough.
But with her wit effervescent,
And her nipples tumescent,
It`s really exciting stuff!

 

[twonines]

On entering the Canal at Port Said,
Barb thought the channel was wide.
She thought " there`s nothing to fear"
As she passed Ismailia,
Then steered the ship into the side.

 

[montycrusto]

Whilst shopping for slaves in Djibouti,
I spotted a tight little beauty.
Long brunette hair
And an insolent air..
I think I might bid for the cutie!

 

[montycrusto]

As I check out the goods, she complains:
“Why must I be nude and in chains?
It’s really not fair!”
I replied “I don’t care,
And you’ll likely be whipped for your pains.”

 

[montycrusto]

How the wench grumbled and cursed,
As her slave-price was quickly disbursed.
I remarked to the slaver,
“Please, do me a favour,
And gag the bitch thoroughly first!”

 

[dfg42]

Today is easter again,
because one stood upon from pain.
To do that we are not able,
so better put me on cross with cable.
In church we see him with loincloth,
instead of nude, raped or both.
Now, let us eat the chocolate bunny,
and find the romans very funny.

 

[twonines]

Monty`s Limericks come thick and fast,
And I`m sure they won`t be his last.
His verses keep scanning,
As poor Barb he keeps panning,
His colours are nailed to the mast.

 

[montycrusto]

Monty`s Limericks come thick and fast,
And I`m sure they won`t be his last.
His verses keep scanning,
As poor Barb he keeps panning,
His colours are nailed to the mast.

I don’t know what gives you the idea,
That Barb is this slavegirl here.
A complaining brunette,
But that’s quite a large set
Of the girls who reside on this sphere.

 

[montycrusto]

Said the slaver “I don’t have a gag;
I’ll just stuff up her mouth with a rag.
Then tape it in place
Till I’ve wrapped half her face,
And voilà! Let her now try to nag!”