Limericks

[montycrusto]

If cast in “The Story of O”,
Barb gladly to Roissy would go,
To try to get even
With evil Sir Stephen
Whose whip makes her tight little glow.

 

[montycrusto]

Barb’s version of “Tarnsman of Gor”
Would be thrilling, and far from a bore.
She’d teach young Tarl Cabot
The slave-owning habit
With chains, whips and fucking galore.

 

[montycrusto]

When appearing in Voltaire’s “Candide”,
Barb’s sufferings would be awesome indeed.
Her fair Cunégondage
In whipping and bondage
Would be, as the French say, “splendide”

 

[montycrusto]

Let’s put her in “Robinson Crusoe”,
Crash a ship on the rocks? Barb would do so.
She could build a crude hut
Though her tight little butt
Is sore because Man, Friday grew so!

 

[montycrusto]

In “Pride and Prejudice “, Barb,
In elaborate regency garb,
Would say “Mister Darcy,
My tight little arsie
Is longing to be your memsaab!”

 

[montycrusto]

In “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley,
(The book, not the one on the telly),
Barb’s fiancé, Victor
Found the monster had licked ‘er
To orgasm, and boy was he jelly!

(“jelly” = jealous, FYI)

 

[montycrusto]

In “Barbulliver’s Travels” by Swift,
The Lilliputians sounded quite miffed.
“This bound, naked creature
Has one notable feature,
But to reach it, we may need a lift”

(“lift” = elevator, duh)

 

[twonines]

As a heroine for Pauline Reage,
Barb would surely fill every page,
A premiere masochiste,
She`d provide a true feast
As a subject of rape and bondage.

 

[twonines]

All these literary allusions, what a feat,
I`m afraid I just can`t compete.
Being much more mundane,
I`ll stick to the cane
And blister Barb`s tight little seat.

 

[montycrusto]

So Barb entertains the upper class
At Roissy, with a plug up her ass,
Stark naked, restrained
With her pussy lips chained,
And nipple-rings fashioned from brass.

 

[twonines]

As these Limericks pass to and fro,
Barb`s the personification of "O",
To be a valet--or even
The cruel Sir Steven,
I`d love to give it a go!

 

[montycrusto]

Barb makes her best “O”-face,
When Pierre puts his hand in that place..
She cannot resist,
Whether fondled and kissed,
Or punished and whipped. A disgrace!

(the valet was called Pierre, right? It’s been a while)

 

[Barbaria1]

(the valet was called Pierre, right? It’s been a while)

In my position of total degradation, pain and humiliation, his name really is not of any concern. Unbelievably delightful morning harvest of new verses, you guys! Wow!!!

 

[montycrusto]

In my position of total degradation, pain and humiliation, his name really is not of any concern. Unbelievably delightful morning harvest of new verses, you guys! Wow!!!

aha, so you CAN read the small print...!!!

 

[Barbaria1]

aha, so you CAN read the small print...!!!

 

[twonines]

Men certainly make passes
At gals who wear glasses.
They take no provision
Of the state of their vision.
It`s more to do with their chassis.

 

[Wragg]

I assume that he posts them all here?
And now I am being sincere:
I really must say -
Twelve poems in a day?
I've got to buy Monty a beer!

 

[montycrusto]

Barb’s father, Atticus Moore,
Was a lawyer, and honest, but poor.
So Barb fell quite madly
For her neighbour, Boo Radley,
Because HE gave her trinkets galore.

 

[Wragg]

I assume that he posts them all here?
And now I am being sincere:
I really must say -
Twelve poems in a day?
I've got to buy Monty a beer!

And another sets me all of a quiver!
Thirteen - and no sign of dither!
In order to cope
Let us really hope
That Monty has a good liver!

 

[montycrusto]

With Ahab, Barb chased Moby Dick,
With a harpoon his white flesh to prick.
But the whale said “Well, fuck it,
Go back to Nantucket,
You guys really get on my wick,”