Limericks

[montycrusto]

The Goths went as white as sheets,
And said “No more Gothic defeats!
By the gods, we’ll gain entry
By showing the sentry
Our tickets! We booked front-row seats!”

 

[twonines]

Having removed the clothes she had worn,
The flagrum left her bloody and torn,
Mogurix needed no urging,
To continue the scourging,
Barb wished she`d never been born.

 

[twonines]

Despite the pain and blood loss,
Barb`s bravery still comes across.
Alas, this means naught,
Her future is fraught,
She`ll still be nailed to the cross.

 

[montycrusto]

Despite all the Romans’ reliance
On whipping and such, her defiance
Rings out loud and clear
In the curses we hear:
“Fuck you, and your fat Roman clients!”

 

[montycrusto]

"But Barb," they reply, "we've fucked you!
You cannot deny that is true.
And now you'll get nailed
With your asshole impaled
On a bloody enormous cornu!"

 

[twonines]

Despite the attention Barb`s accrued,
Our verses could all be skewed.
If she`s still alive,
When the Goths all arrive,
There`s a possibility she`ll be rescued.

 

[montycrusto]

The Goths munched their popcorn and watched.
Any “rescue” could only be botched.
Might as well join the roar:
“Crucify the Goth whore!”
“Let her tits by the flagrum be scotched!”

(*”scotched” (archaic): marked or scored with a sharp implement)

 

[twonines]

It undoubtedly is the pits,
Destroying Barb`s lovely tits.
It would delight some,
To take the skin off her bum,
But that flagrum will tear her to bits.

 

[montycrusto]

The Goths munched their popcorn and watched.

Yes I know they didn’t have popcorn in the Roman Empire.. but I couldn’t make the scansion work with otters’ noses or Jaguars’ earlobes.. What do you want? Historical accuracy?

 

[Barbaria1]

The verses get better and better
The more that I’m put to the leather
First to my lovely tits
And then to my girly bits
Imagined by Monty and twonines together

 

[twonines]

In Limericks, you do what you must,
Not every `bon mot` can be juste.
Do what you can,
To make the thing scan,
Sometimes, it`s just shit or bust.

 

[montycrusto]

This goth girl shows spirit and pluck!
By this wastage I’m quite thunderstruck.
Just put her in chains,
Gag her if she complains,
And she’ll make me a nice little fuck.

 

[Barbaria1]

Finally a nice bit of luck
Monty just wants a fuck
No lashes must fall
He just wants to ball
Hope I don’t have to suck

 

[montycrusto]

Finally a nice bit of luck
Monty just wants a fuck
No lashes must fall
He just wants to ball
Hope I don’t have to suck

Just so we’re on the same page,
You’ll be kept in a small iron cage,
Taken out to be used,
Bound, whipped and abused,
And sold on when you reach middle age.

 

[twonines]

That`s certainly a stroke of luck,
Barb, ready and willing to fuck.
She seems less defiant,
Much more compliant,
Who cares if she doesn`t want to suck.

 

[twonines]

Oh to put Barb to good use,
Enjoy some sexual abuse.
At the first hint of sass,
Take the skin off her ass,
I would only need the slightest excuse.

 

[twonines]

Of Pirate Cay, Barb`s seen enough,
Suffered some really weird stuff.
But as a Goth girl,
Her mind`s in a whirl,
She`s certainly having it tough.

 

[twonines]

Is there an endless chain
Of women doctors causing Barb pain?
They get her stripped,
Pass her fit to be whipped,
And sexually assault her, again and again.

 

[Wragg]

Barb's perils increase, and her woes;
Her body they cruelly expose
You'll see from these verses
She cries and she curses
In fluent Limerick prose.

 

[montycrusto]

Barb's perils increase, and her woes;
Her body they cruelly expose
You'll see from these verses
She cries and she curses
In fluent Limerick prose.

Of perils, Barb’s surely a queen,
Of legendary sufferings obscene.
Though she bends, she won’t break,
And a heroine will make
To rank with De Sade’s “Justine”