I like to leave my men with a smile on their faces!!!!!!!!!!
girls too 
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Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
- Start date
Marcie4you
Banned
My kind of gal! 
Marcie4you
Banned
AND, I totally shaven, everwhere too!
To celebrate the return of CruxForums after a few hours away - perhaps this will earn a few more pics?
- perhaps this will earn a few more pics?
The ParrotAt dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief,
so I hit her with your new Wilson Staff DXi Super Light golf club with the Matrix Ozik Xcon-4.1 graphite shaft."
SILENCE...........
LONG SILENCE.........
VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."
Marcie4you
Banned
Marcie4you
Banned
Uh, No it isn't!
Marcie4you
Banned
Btw, I'm MUCH better in real life.....diet not with standing?
Marcie4you
Banned
I have the nipples, you the chocolate?
Marcie4you
Banned
Who says murder isn't justified?
KvK
Tribune
A Roman General had two female rebels his armies had captured. He was about to crucify them the next dawn.
He approached the first girl and told her that, if she gave him a BJ, her compatriot might be pardoned for her crimes. The first girl complied.
He then approached the second girl and told her that, if she let him fuck her up the ass, her compatriot might be pardoned for her crimes. She complied.
The next morning he had them both crucified. After they were writhing on their crosses in agony for fifteen minutes he strode into their view and said "Good morning!"
"You said one of us would be pardoned for her crimes if..." began the girls in unison.
"Yup!" replied the General, holding out two pieces of paper, "Here are my requests to have you pardoned. If all goes well, they should reach Rome in about a week or two."
He approached the first girl and told her that, if she gave him a BJ, her compatriot might be pardoned for her crimes. The first girl complied.
He then approached the second girl and told her that, if she let him fuck her up the ass, her compatriot might be pardoned for her crimes. She complied.
The next morning he had them both crucified. After they were writhing on their crosses in agony for fifteen minutes he strode into their view and said "Good morning!"
"You said one of us would be pardoned for her crimes if..." began the girls in unison.
"Yup!" replied the General, holding out two pieces of paper, "Here are my requests to have you pardoned. If all goes well, they should reach Rome in about a week or two."
shevak2006
Governor
Very funny! "All you have to do, girls, is hold out until then! Ha, ha, ha!"
This would make a very interesting piece of art. Crucified side-by-side, naked. Make one girl blonde, curvy, with big tits; the other brunette, slender, with smaller tits. (Or the other way around.) Puffy areolas and pointy nipples on both, long hair, and nicely trimmed bushes. Nailed, of course, and sitting on cornus. Both wailing in pain and crying out in unison! What a great image that would be!
"All you have to do, girls, is hold out until then! Ha, ha, ha!"This would make a very interesting piece of art. Crucified side-by-side, naked. Make one girl blonde, curvy, with big tits; the other brunette, slender, with smaller tits. (Or the other way around.) Puffy areolas and pointy nipples on both, long hair, and nicely trimmed bushes. Nailed, of course, and sitting on cornus. Both wailing in pain and crying out in unison! What a great image that would be!
shevak2006
Governor
I'm liking where this talk is going. I'm getting all sorts of images in my head of you two...girls too
Marcie4you
Banned
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks
that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather
in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?' His grandfather replied,'They're as clean as cold water can get em...
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates,
as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?' Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as
clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you
fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.John yelled and said,
'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.Without diverting his attention from the football game
he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!
'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'
Meet Coldwater !
This is for all the germ conscious folks
that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather
in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?' His grandfather replied,'They're as clean as cold water can get em...
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates,
as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?' Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as
clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you
fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.John yelled and said,
'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.Without diverting his attention from the football game
he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!
'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'
Meet Coldwater !
