Burns Nicht Guidwill!
For our friends in that great land
where you can go out and buy a gun anytime,
but you can't buy a haggis –
'cos haggis is dangerous,
you might kill someone with it!
The American's Address to the Haggis
King Kong of puds, I guess the Scot
Who slew you with a well-aimed shot
Must've stood rooted to the spot
With his heart thumpin'.
And said, "I dunno what I've got,
But I've got somethin'!"
"Whether you're bird or fish or stew
Or maybe somethin' strictly new,
Whether you ran or swam or flew,
And how to eatcha'.
I just don't have a goddam clue,
But, pleased to meetcha'!"
Anon (not Eul, but apologies to the Bard!)
