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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Information for Guests​
(from a Beijing Hotel)​
​
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
 
looks a bit like my capital ship for the yacht on slavegirlies:D
 
:D "It isn't a crazy idea dreamt up by a sadist,​
it actually began in China 2000 years ago"​
(classic non sequitur? :p)​
​
and I like the line​
"massage with knives is more penetrating" :D​
​
still I quite like the look of it,​
I'd give it a try!​
 
Found in my email:
there may be one or two people who have never seen the Marx Brother's "Duck Soup" (and if you havent i feel sorry for you), but even if you have, prepare yourself for what might just be the funniest three minutes in the history of film.........the really ironic thing about this scene is that neither one of the brothers in the scene is really Groucho!.......its Harpo and Chico................this was later re-created in the old "I Love Lucy" show.............

​

a answer by apostate​
In addition to impersonating his brother in Duck Soup, he also filled in for Groucho in their vaudeville acts. Like in the movie, nobody noticed.​
​

​
and Willowfall


"Viaduct?"
"Try crossing it with a chicken and you'll find out 'why a duck'"


Great great stuff. The advantage of being sooooooo much younger than my older brothers is they had and liked all this stuff. Very few comedians in the 80s and 90s even came close and today .... amateurs. If they can't swear most of them can do a routine.

kisses

willowfall

Bridgie

"I dont know why a duck......Im a stranger here myself.....all I know is its a viaduct"...............(from "Cocoanuts")

but heres the best in the pic..........Groucho is working the front desk at the hotel and the phone rings......."Hello, front desk.........whats that?.......ice water in 318??
is that so?.......where'd you get it?........peel some onions, that'll make your ice water"............


My favorite Groucho quote from The Coconuts.
 
Mrs. Teasdale (Maraget Dumont): The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
Firefly (Gorucho): Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
 
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