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The Trial of Barbaria1

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Barbaria1 said:
9.

“Uh oh, I fear I have more bad news to report,” confides @bobinder to the stalwart band of Cruxors surrounding Barbara and staring rather forlornly at the sawn-off stump of the town’s whipping post.

“What pray tell could possibly be worse news than the loss of the town’s whipping post along with our entire supply of Crux Timber,” cries @Wragg .

“Oh, it’s far worse than that,” observes @Jollyrei . “We appear to be completely surrounded by legions of Barbaria clones armed with 30 calibre semi-automatic demerit launchers!”

“What? How did that happen?” moans @Loxuru in dismay.

“I suspect that Barbaria is guilty of Moore than pushing the CruxForums self-destruct button,” observes @montycrusto .

“Yes, she apparently located the self-clone controls too,” confirms @twonines .

“Is this true?” @old slave asks Barbaria directly.

“Well ….” she replies noncommittally.

“Ask her for terms!” cries @Harsh Martinet , “Hurry … before her clones unleash a hypersonic volley of demerits upon us!”

“Yes, quite right. What are your terms, Barbaria?” enquires Wragg respectfully.

“Nothing much really,” she replies. “ I simply demand that my claim of innocence in causing the Great Crash be acknowledged and accepted once and for all. And, that I be crowned Queen of CruxForums, and that henceforth all of you lowlifes become my vassals. That I be given a never ending supply of quality Riesling to quaff at my leisure. And last but not least, that Monty and Twonines be forever prohibited from rhyming!”

“That sounds rather contractual,” observes @Loinclothslave legally.

“Quite. Someone fetch paper and pen so we can get this down in writing,” says Wragg resignedly.

“Have her call off her clones first!” suggests @phlebas , dodging an inadvertently launched demerit.

“Not so fast!” warns Barbara. “Not until everyone’s acquiescence to my conditions is confirmed in writing.”

Muttering and grousing ensues.

“Alright, alright! Everyone calm down! @RacingRodent is preparing the contract as we speak, declares bobinder in a gentle, crowd-soothing tone.

“Hopefully she won’t read the fine print,” adds @Apostate in a low conspiratorial voice, winking slyly.

TBC
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I know we had two Barbs on Pirate Cay, but multiple clones is really gilding the lily.
 
thehangingtree said:
Barbara seems overconfident of her position...
madame wu 10 b.jpg
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You can also see right away that it's not the right barb, the wine isn't the right color.
Loxuru said:
Don't panic, guys! Haven't we designed the Crux Forums Doomsday Machine for such situations? Let's release clouds of fine print over that army of Barb clones, followed by sprays of beer! They will soon beg us to get whipped and crucified!
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And besides, beer drops are dead poisonous to the wrong barbs. They dissolve immediately. So all we have to do is upgrade the Crux Forums Doomsday Machine to spray beer as well.
 
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