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The Trial of Barbaria1

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Madiosi said:
Barbaria, now clad from the waist down in a loose flowing skirt, of wholesome-looking white linen, that clings precariously to her narrow hips, is shoved into place behind this protective shield as it exits the courthouse and wades resolutely into the maddening, riotous crowd.
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Barbara would NEVER pose like that, would she???
 
Barbaria1 said:
And I’m a mod besides. At CruxForums that’s close to Royalty!
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Anna Boleyn, Mary Stuart, Marie Antoinette, Catherine Howard,.... were even closer to Royalty!:roto2nuse:
Barbaria1 said:
“It’s been sawed off at the base, and hauled away!” shouts Wulf, kneeling to inspect the low stump and a ring of sawdust … all that remains of the town’s whipping post.
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This is an unheard crime! Sawing off a whipping post!? Has the world lost its common sense completely? Such an awful disruption of social order! This is as bad as crashing CF! We must find the culprit as soon as possible!:eek::loco:
 
This is the saddest day, to lose my favourite place in town, I will miss kissing that wood and especially the rusty manacles…

We should definitely whip @Barbaria1 longer for such a crime, which warrants further torture and at least 100 lashes by itself.

I suggest we can use the one my MASTER built for this slave’s daily maintenance, if you don’t mind the bloodstains?
 
Barbaria1 said:
“This is really going quite well, don’t you think?” cries Montycrusto, thrusting and jabbing at those before him with his trusty pike.
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"Aaaghh, watch it!"

Barbaria1 said:
“Indeed, when this is over we should repair to the pub for a celebratory drink!” rhymes Twonines, swinging his pike like a club.
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"Ooomph, almost but not entirely missed my head there."

Barbaria1 said:
“We’re almost there, keep moving men!” cries Wragg as he swings his pike at a menacing member attempting to cut him off from the rest of the phalanx.
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"Unggg..... aaah...... don't worry, it's just a flesh wound... medic!"
 
Madiosi said:
“I’m innocent!” she cries, defiant to the end. “Fucking innocent! And I’m a mod besides. At CruxForums that’s close to Royalty! You can’t do this to me!

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Reminds me of the old British Army song, (sung to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Our sergeant major has a crown upon his arm,
Our sergeant major has a crown upon his arm,
Our sergeant major has a crown upon his arm,
But he thinks it`s on his fucking head.
 
twonines said:
Reminds me of the old British Army song, (sung to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Our sergeant major has a crown upon his arm,
Our sergeant major has a crown upon his arm,
Our sergeant major has a crown upon his arm,
But he thinks it`s on his fucking head.
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8AF8D70F-BDB9-4251-A213-C757EEEAAA33.jpeg Not to be messed with!!!
 
Doragon said:
You know, the site has been crashing a few times. Since Eulalia 'acidentally' 'moved' her thread. I think she is in cahoot with Barb!
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I don't want too name suspects, but I also have already in mind that the culprit, responsible for sawing off the whipping post, is most likely a mod, having received inside information. Royalty protecting royalty!:sherlock:
 
Barbaria1 said:
7.

“To the whipping post! To the post! Whip her! Whip her!” cries the crowd, pushing and shoving towards the courtroom exits as Barb is being hastily prepared for the long walk to the town of Cruxton’s place of public punishment.

“Not so fast,” urges @Harsh Martinet . “We must do this properly. The best whippings are those in which the condemned goes to the post only half-naked! Someone get Barbaria1 a loose skirt to wrap around her hips.

“Given the obvious surly and potentially riotous mood of the crowd, we’d also best take measures to keep her safe on her way to the post,” counsels @bobinder , always a level-headed voice of reason. “It does appear that our CruxForums membership has been, for long, far more pissed off about the Great Crash of the Summer of 2013 than we ever realized”

“We’ll need to form a protective phalanx in order to push through the crowd,” announces @carloscruz , drawing on his considerable experience in staging such events before large crowds.

And so, a formidable looking phalanx, led by bobinder, and consisting of, @Loinclothslave , @montycrusto , @Fossy @twonines , @wulf and carloscruz , and armed with ancient pikes hastily liberated from a musty old arsenal of bygone times, long forgotten in the courthouse cellar.

Barbaria, now clad from the waist down in a loose flowing skirt, of wholesome-looking white linen, that clings precariously to her narrow hips, is shoved into place behind this protective shield as it exits the courthouse and wades resolutely into the madding, riotous crowd.

“I’m innocent!” she cries, defiant to the end. “Fucking innocent! And I’m a mod besides. At CruxForums that’s close to Royalty! You can’t do this to me!”

“Forward! Push forward!” shouts @Wragg from the little processions embattled rearguard, consisting solely of himself and @Jollyrei .

The entire entourage pushes relentlessly forward down Cruxton’s High Street, effectively parting the vengeful crowd by sheer force of will, just as the Red Sea was reportedly miraculously parted in ancient times.

“This is really going quite well, don’t you think?” cries Montycrusto, thrusting and jabbing at those before him with his trusty pike.

“Indeed, when this is over we should repair to the pub for a celebratory drink!” rhymes Twonines, swinging his pike like a club.

“We’re almost there, keep moving men!” cries Wragg as he swings his pike at a menacing member attempting to cut him off from the rest of the phalanx.

Bravely, the phalanx moves on, eventually reaching the head of High Street and turning the corner towards the small square where Cruxton’s punishment pillories and whipping post have stood for centuries for the grim purpose of punishing the town’s wayward young maidens.

“Oh no, cries Fossy, with a look of alarm, and a backwards glance to Wragg. “The whipping post … I can’t believe it! Look! It’s gone! Disappeared!”

“What? Impossible!” moans Harshmartinet.

“It’s been sawed off at the base, and hauled away!” shouts Wulf, kneeling to inspect the low stump and a ring of sawdust … all that remains of the town’s whipping post.

“Who would have done such a terrible thing?” cries Loinclothslave. “Could Barbaria have allies, out there? She styles herself, let’s not forget, as a Rebel Leader! Who knows what dangers lurk. Indeed I, for one, wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone has made off with Cruxton’s crucifixion timbers as well!”

Everyone turned to look at Barbaria, who’s countenance displayed a knowing smile.

TBC
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My proposal for solving the problem of the missing whipping post. The requirement for Barb to be only stripped to her waist will be waived ;)

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