This flows very nicely Sir Wragg. You could almost set it to music. Maybe some death metal band will make an epic song out of it.
Hee hee, you could be the lead singer, Hondo, and I could play the triangle!
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A Bloody Job....
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Hee hee, you could be the lead singer, Hondo, and I could play the triangle!
ask them
Don't complain. As long as this is the case, they can keep getting whipped and crucified, which works out rather well for everyone. I would worry more if this stopped.
Hondoboot2
QUAESTOR PULCHRITUDINIS
I think the Goddesses take a potion that was supplied to them by Madam Wu. The potion is called "Goddess Renu", very powerful stuff, just one drop revives them for more adventures, or misadventures.
They will never die, as long as they have the potion
It is kind of like the movie, "Death Becomes Her"
Well, Pp stared, confused as I
“Why must these lovely women die?”
The captain said, “These sluts have come
“Because they all are Rebel scum!”
“This one, ‘Barbaria’ is her name
“She thought it just a merry game
“To ambush Romans on their way
“To do their business every day!”
“And this precocious ‘Rebel Queen’
“Thought she could her land redeem
“Misleading Roxie - Siss as well
“To fall beneath her magic spell!”
“I know, to you, they seem quite sweet
“But in their chests black hearts still beat
“Get to it, man, and whip that trash
“Barbaria, Siss, and Roxie: Thrash!”
Then Pp said, “Before I whip
“I fear these women all must strip!”
I know it sounds both cruel and crude
Twas I that stripped those women nude.
They looked both lovely and forlorn
As their last strips of cloth were torn
Leaving all three standing there
Naked, frightened, shaking, bare.
As we then tied them to their posts
And all three looked as pale as ghosts,
They didn’t look like they could kill
And I began to feel quite ill.
Yet Pp set about his work
I watched their bodies twist and jerk
Ten lashes each, their cries were loud
And Pp of his work was proud.
The lash bit deep, their blood it sprayed
“God help us, please!” they vainly prayed
And soon those lovely backs were raw
With bleeding welts all red and sore.
We took them then, despite their screams
We made them haul those heavy beams
Through streets now filled with scoffing throng
Who mocked them as they went along!
“Come see this, lads! I’m having fits
“Just looking at their swaying tits!”
The lads performed some risky stunts
To better see their passing….er, bodies.
The girls, they fell beneath their load
The watching hundreds laughed and crowed
Pp and me, we did our part
We followed with the empty cart!
Until we came out through the gate
At which the women saw their fate
You really should have heard their wails
As I produced those awful nails!
You mean you had an empty cart, and you made us all walk when we could have lounged comfortably on the cart!!!!!!!!!! Have you two no feelings of mercy for three such lovely beings ... or are we just "er, bodies" to you? I protest! We deserved to ride to our fate! Isn't there some rule in the crux manual that says "when transport is available...."? Well, if not, there ought to be. Furthermore, I .....owwww, why did you just lash me again Pp? I thought ten was the limit? Owww ... stop that! Ok, ok, I will shut up. Oh, wait a minute, you don't expect me to lie down peacefully on that rough, blood-stained thing while you nail me do you? I demand a fresh cross at least, one without old nail holes and free of blood, feces and urine stains if you please. Owwww. Will you stop that!!!! Ok, ok, I am sitting on the stipe. Happy? So are Siss and Roxie now too. See, we are all being cooperative. What else can we do. Hey, why are you stuffing that old soiled loin cloth in my mouth...mgghlggmlmmmmph ... gasp ... memehdghhdskghmmmph.
Well, if my boss had said to me
That we’d be nailing royalty
I would have taken greater care
She’d not get splinters, laying there.
Actually, I might use that, later on!
See now, don't be a flakeWell, if my boss had said to me
That we’d be nailing royalty
I would have taken greater care
She’d not get splinters, laying there.
Actually, I might use that, later on!
Please be nice for my sake
Handle me with care and you soon will learn
That in the end you shall fewer demerits earn
At last, for Wragg, he hears good news
An offer he cannot refuse!
He'll handle Barb with great delight
And no demerits? That's all right!
At last, for Wragg, he hears good news
An offer he cannot refuse!
He'll handle Barb with great delight
And no demerits? That's all right!
Ok, enough of this....just get on with it, ok?
You keep your hands off of Barb,or I will turn loose my rath!!!!At last, for Wragg, he hears good news
An offer he cannot refuse!
He'll handle Barb with great delight
And no demerits? That's all right!
Ok, enough of this....just get on with it, ok?
Oh, really Wragg! What the fuck!
Why do Siss and I still get stuck
With a rough and bloody shitty cross?
Fix this now -- or get me the boss!
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Oh, really Wragg! What the fuck!
Why do Siss and I still get stuck
With a rough and bloody shitty cross?
Fix this now -- or get me the boss!
Oh, Lordy!
You give an inch and they want a mile
Oh, really Wragg! What the fuck!
Why do Siss and I still get stuck
With a rough and bloody shitty cross?
Fix this now -- or get me the boss!
Oh, Lordy!
You give an inch and they want a mile
One for one and one for all
We will not go quietly at all
Moan and groan, shout and scream
We respectfully demand a pristine beam
Heh. She's the barbarian queen and I swoop in with the barbarian chieftain thing. Now you have Elf warrior girls pointing sharp things at you. It's remarkable that any poetry, sorry, crucifixion can get done at all with all the interruptions.
Not just any elfgirl...it's Erin the elfgirl warrior who helped bring Rome to it's knees...so tread lightly!!!!Heh. She's the barbarian queen and I swoop in with the barbarian chieftain thing. Now you have Elf warrior girls pointing sharp things at you. It's remarkable that any poetry, sorry, crucifixion can get done at all with all the interruptions.
And I am doing my job sir...protecting my queen!!!!Only doing me job, Miss, honest!