Come on, Barb... anything they can do, you can do better!
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Barb Time-travels To Jerusalem In 33 Ad
- Thread starter thehangingtree
- Start date
Of course!
How could I forget such sagacious advice! **************************
And it came to pass that one Wragg, a malefactor of note, came before the cross of Barbara, and didst kneel before it.
And he cried out unto her in a loud voice, saying, “Woe is me, for I am undone! For my sins are like scarlet and, verily, my demerits are more than the sands upon the seashore! What must I do to be saved?”
And she looked upon him with pity, and said unto him, “O Wragg, thou knowest what to do, for have not my servants Old Slave and Phlebas told thee, so that even a numbskull such as thou art can find the path of true righteousness? Is it not written by them in the scrolls of the Cruxforums?”
And he turned red, even as red as a beetroot, and he gulped, and did stammer, and was greatly confused, but he resolved to do as Old Slave and Phlebas had shown him, and to follow the path of true righteousness.
And so henceforth he did take her breasts with his hands, and didst twiddle her nipples with much application and fortitude, so that all who saw it became aware of the swelling of her nipples.
And all gasped in wonder, for such tumescence had never before been beheld in all that land, and has never been beheld since.
And Wragg saw that it was good.
So the malefactor Wragg continued with one hand upon her breasts, but he did cause the other to slide sensuously down her abdomen, down slowly towards a place that was wondrous in its warmth, and miraculous in the amount of moistness therein. And he found the place spoken of by the prophets Old Slave and Phlebas, that which the sages call the ‘g-spot’, and with his finger he did stimulate that spot.
And all gasped in wonder, for such moaning and writhing had never before been beheld in all that land, and has never been beheld since.
And Wragg saw that it was good.
Wragg thought deeply, and greatly he did frown, for behold, the Wise Men (that is to say, Old Slave and Phlebas) had taught of another wondrous thing he could do to cause Barbara to lift up the light of her countenance upon him. But he was buggered if he could remember what it was.
Lo, he need not have feared, for Barbara herself instructed him, groaning in a loud voice, “My clit, you fool! Please lick my clit!”
Wragg remembered what Old Slave and Phlebas had told him, and buried his face in her bush, and with his tongue he did seek, and with his tongue he did find. His labours were considerable, for much did she writhe and she danced upon her nails, but he diligently applied himself, for he thought, ‘I must walk this path of righteousness, no matter how much she wriggles, and no matter if I drown in all this fluid.’
And all gasped in wonder, for such an orgasm had never before been beheld in all that land, and has never been beheld since.
And Wragg saw that it was good.
Barbara thought it was good, too, because after a bit, when she’d recovered, she spake unto Wragg, saying, “Go in Peace, for thy sins are forgiven thee, and thy demerits are remembered no more.”
And Wragg was glad, and he rejoiced mightily. And he resolved within himself to buy Old Slave and Phlebas a pint the next time he saw them.
This is going to be long ordeal…
I must have something to be thankful for ... let me see .. well, that it's not so cold in this part of the world ... I'd be covered with icicles at home ... and, I've got company ... three girls on crosses is always nice ... and let's see ... ummmmm ... oh, yeah! It's too dark for any of THOSE pics of me 
The old ones are the best onesbut your stories are read
(credit Hilaire Belloc for v. old joke)
Of course!
**************************
And it came to pass that one Wragg, a malefactor of note, came before the cross of Barbara, and didst kneel before it.
And he cried out unto her in a loud voice, saying, “Woe is me, for I am undone! For my sins are like scarlet and, verily, my demerits are more than the sands upon the seashore! What must I do to be saved?”
And she looked upon him with pity, and said unto him, “O Wragg, thou knowest what to do, for have not my servants Old Slave and Phlebas told thee, so that even a numbskull such as thou art can find the path of true righteousness? Is it not written by them in the scrolls of the Cruxforums?”
And he turned red, even as red as a beetroot, and he gulped, and did stammer, and was greatly confused, but he resolved to do as Old Slave and Phlebas had shown him, and to follow the path of true righteousness.
And so henceforth he did take her breasts with his hands, and didst twiddle her nipples with much application and fortitude, so that all who saw it became aware of the swelling of her nipples.
And all gasped in wonder, for such tumescence had never before been beheld in all that land, and has never been beheld since.
And Wragg saw that it was good.
So the malefactor Wragg continued with one hand upon her breasts, but he did cause the other to slide sensuously down her abdomen, down slowly towards a place that was wondrous in its warmth, and miraculous in the amount of moistness therein. And he found the place spoken of by the prophets Old Slave and Phlebas, that which the sages call the ‘g-spot’, and with his finger he did stimulate that spot.
And all gasped in wonder, for such moaning and writhing had never before been beheld in all that land, and has never been beheld since.
And Wragg saw that it was good.
Wragg thought deeply, and greatly he did frown, for behold, the Wise Men (that is to say, Old Slave and Phlebas) had taught of another wondrous thing he could do to cause Barbara to lift up the light of her countenance upon him. But he was buggered if he could remember what it was.
Lo, he need not have feared, for Barbara herself instructed him, groaning in a loud voice, “My clit, you fool! Please lick my clit!”
Wragg remembered what Old Slave and Phlebas had told him, and buried his face in her bush, and with his tongue he did seek, and with his tongue he did find. His labours were considerable, for much did she writhe and she danced upon her nails, but he diligently applied himself, for he thought, ‘I must walk this path of righteousness, no matter how much she wriggles, and no matter if I drown in all this fluid.’
And all gasped in wonder, for such an orgasm had never before been beheld in all that land, and has never been beheld since.
And Wragg saw that it was good.
Barbara thought it was good, too, because after a bit, when she’d recovered, she spake unto Wragg, saying, “Go in Peace, for thy sins are forgiven thee, and thy demerits are remembered no more.”
And Wragg was glad, and he rejoiced mightily. And he resolved within himself to buy Old Slave and Phlebas a pint the next time he saw them.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and you enjoyed writing that little gem, didn't you? ... every bit of it ... especially that buried you face in her bush part ... geeeeze ... “Go in Peace Wragg, for thy sins are forgiven thee, and thy demerits are remembered no more" ... (fingers crossed).
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Every now and then it's good policy to throw a few bones to the peasants ... it does seem to make them happy
View attachment 449960 Every now and then it's good policy to throw a few bones to the peasants ... it does seem to make them happy
Yaah!
You can't upset me, I'm in an indestructible good mood.
Is that "The End"?
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Sounds better than : "Father forgive him, he does not know what he is doing!"Every now and then it's good policy to throw a few bones to the peasants ... it does seem to make them happy
no hardly!!!
And verily in that moment the blessed Wragg beheld the burning bush.
(Barbara's bush. Why does that sound familiar?)
lol
ps looking forward to that pint.
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
As am I, mine's a
Just a minor technical point, can you cross your fingers when crucified? Behind your back?
Ahhhh, but I can. The nails pierce my wrists. My fingers are still free to cross. See some of SJ's art. So maybe not behind my back, but out there on the patibulum...
sgreeWhen Tree's finished this story, he may turn his head to revising some other parts of that book.
did you ever have one?I have no choice
Not on this thread!!!
The night is both painful and enduring for Barbara of Nazareth. Back at the University of the Virgin Martyrs the first part of the use of the time machine seems to have worked. Barbara Moore’s body remained in the chair but she had no awareness of what is going on around her. Her brain is functioning only enough to maintain her body’s necessary functions but she cannot initiate movement, hear, eat, or drink. If they can’t bring her mind her back she will comatose!
She is placed on an observation table…
…and dozens of sensors are attached to her body. While they could not read what was happening to Barbara Moore/Barbara of Nazareth or what the woman (women are) is thinking, it was obvious Barbara Moore’s body is reacting to a severe trauma being inflicted on Barbara of Nazareth’s body!
“Look at her! Her body is wracked with pain! Her muscles are cramping and she is sweating even though it is only 60° F in here” Professor Joan Tree exclaims.
“I thought she wasn’t supposed to be able to move” her assistant says.
“She can’t but her muscles are responding to her subconscious! I thing we have Barbara Moore crucified in 33 AD and her body is still connected to her mind! This is going better than I could have imagined” Joan laughs.
I am curious if Barb Moore is as thrilled with the results of this experiment. It is night in Jerusalem and it seems to drag on forever. Exhausted Barbara of Nazareth gets short periods of sleep only to awake and find the pain has grown and the darkness persists.
Back at the UVM Barb Moore’s body is monitored twenty-four hours a day. They are amazed when the jerking from cramps subside and they observe rapid eye movement that happens when one is sleeping!
Just past 5:30 on the Sabbath from their crosses on Golgotha Barbara, Medusa, and Diane are greeted with a spectacular sunrise.
The three agree they would have rather died by now.
It is 9:30 PM and still Friday at the UVM when Professor Joan Tree visits with Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg to relay their exciting findings. She tells him they have gathered enough information to bring Barbara Moore back (if the time machine works). He pauses, lights a Madame Wu, and stares at Joan for a moment.
Then he says “You disappoint me and I am sure your brother Tree will be insulted as he has traced his roots back to a centurion that served in Jerusalem at that time. If it was he who crucified the body that Ms. Moore’s conscious mind resides in she is in no danger of dying anytime soon. As for you, since when have you decided to bestow mercy?”
“I’m sorry sir I was just excited…”
“’Sorry’ does not suffice! Report to my private dungeon and have the guard on duty lock you in a pillory. I will summon Professor Primus Pilus to scourge you and I will be along later to bugger you…”
Tree
She is placed on an observation table…
…and dozens of sensors are attached to her body. While they could not read what was happening to Barbara Moore/Barbara of Nazareth or what the woman (women are) is thinking, it was obvious Barbara Moore’s body is reacting to a severe trauma being inflicted on Barbara of Nazareth’s body!
“Look at her! Her body is wracked with pain! Her muscles are cramping and she is sweating even though it is only 60° F in here” Professor Joan Tree exclaims.
“I thought she wasn’t supposed to be able to move” her assistant says.
“She can’t but her muscles are responding to her subconscious! I thing we have Barbara Moore crucified in 33 AD and her body is still connected to her mind! This is going better than I could have imagined” Joan laughs.
I am curious if Barb Moore is as thrilled with the results of this experiment. It is night in Jerusalem and it seems to drag on forever. Exhausted Barbara of Nazareth gets short periods of sleep only to awake and find the pain has grown and the darkness persists.
Back at the UVM Barb Moore’s body is monitored twenty-four hours a day. They are amazed when the jerking from cramps subside and they observe rapid eye movement that happens when one is sleeping!
Just past 5:30 on the Sabbath from their crosses on Golgotha Barbara, Medusa, and Diane are greeted with a spectacular sunrise.
The three agree they would have rather died by now.
It is 9:30 PM and still Friday at the UVM when Professor Joan Tree visits with Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg to relay their exciting findings. She tells him they have gathered enough information to bring Barbara Moore back (if the time machine works). He pauses, lights a Madame Wu, and stares at Joan for a moment.
Then he says “You disappoint me and I am sure your brother Tree will be insulted as he has traced his roots back to a centurion that served in Jerusalem at that time. If it was he who crucified the body that Ms. Moore’s conscious mind resides in she is in no danger of dying anytime soon. As for you, since when have you decided to bestow mercy?”
“I’m sorry sir I was just excited…”
“’Sorry’ does not suffice! Report to my private dungeon and have the guard on duty lock you in a pillory. I will summon Professor Primus Pilus to scourge you and I will be along later to bugger you…”
Tree