Limericks

[Barbaria1]

@montycrusto ‘s cellar smells so foul
There’s trash and rubbish wall to wall
On a filthy mattress tightly bound
I’ll not be able to make a sound
When ho buggers me once and for all

 

[montycrusto]

@montycrusto ‘s cellar smells so foul
There’s trash and rubbish wall to wall
On a filthy mattress tightly bound
I’ll not be able to make a sound
When ho buggers me once and for all

In my cellar, you’ll be my guest,
With a mattress where you can rest,
Bound and gagged most tightly
And visited nightly
By a perfectly priapic pest.

 

[ducon007]

...By a perfectly priapic pest.

The effects of the blue pill...?

 

[Loxuru]

A strange flying thing
Sent by the great Xi Ji Ping
Blown by the wind
Looking for fine print
Only found Barb’s Riesling

 

[montycrusto]

When Barbara commands a submersible,
You’re advised to go AWOL if persible.
She’ll twiddle whichever
Knob, handle or lever,
And the outcome will be irreversible.

(*note: “whichever” and “lever” do not rhyme in proper English, but they do in that strange Minnesotan dialect that @Barbaria1 complains in!)

 

[ducon007]

(*note: “whichever” and “lever” do not rhyme in proper English...

Don't worry! With my fucking French accent, it rhymes very well...!

 

[montycrusto]

Don't worry! With my fucking French accent, it rhymes very well...!

Your accent is très débonnaire,
And full of flamboyance and flair,
An Englishman who
Could speak French like you
Can speak English, now that would be rare!

 

[ducon007]

Your accent is très débonnaire,
And full of flamboyance and flair,
An Englishman who
Could speak French like you
Can speak English, now that would be rare!

Wow! That's too much of an honour!

 

[twonines]

Does Barb`s Mid-Western twang
Almost border on slang?
It doesn`t bother me
But a guy named Tree,
Definitely thinks she should hang.

 

[montycrusto]

There’s two ways, Barb’s rudeness to check,
Before my good mood she can wreck:
A fat cock in her gob
Will accomplish the job,
Or else: string her up by the neck!

 

[Barbaria1]

There’s two ways, Barb’s rudeness to check,
Before my good mood she can wreck:
A fat cock in her gob
Will accomplish the job,
Or else: string her up by the neck!
View attachment 1278555

 

[twonines]

Has Monty`s objective been missed?
He`s certainly left Barbara pissed.
But as he desired
Those demerits were fired,
So his fears can now be dismissed.

 

[thehangingtree]

There’s two ways, Barb’s rudeness to check,
Before my good mood she can wreck:
A fat cock in her gob
Will accomplish the job,
Or else: string her up by the neck!

View attachment 1278555

Tree has tried the last solution...

You think it works...

...but she's always back for Moore more!!

 

[Barbaria1]

You think it works...

VERBOTEN CAMERA ANGLE

 

[montycrusto]

VERBOTEN CAMERA ANGLE

The demerit gun must be over-heating today..

 

[Davec5299]

The de-merits are flying around,
As God-Emperor Monty has found.
Barb's aim is so poor,
She'd miss the barn door,
But we've all ne'ertheless hit the ground!

 

[Doragon]

VERBOTEN CAMERA ANGLE

Forbidden makes it sweeter

And punishment as well

 

[montycrusto]

The Coffee Shop grinds to a halt,
For sheer lack of beans in the vault.
No more Civet beans
And you know what that means:
It’s all @Eulalia ’s fault

 

[montycrusto]

The Coffee Shop grinds to a halt,
For sheer lack of beans in the vault.
No more Civet beans
And you know what that means:
It’s all @Eulalia ’s fault

She’s AWOL and when our men find her,
She’ll be brought back and chained to the grinder,
She will work round the clock
Shitting beans, sucking cock;
Crucifying the bitch would be kinder!

 

[twonines]

She’s AWOL and when our men find her,
She’ll be brought back and chained to the grinder,
She will work round the clock
Shitting beans, sucking cock;
Crucifying the bitch would be kinder!

These limericks are providing the fuel,
Proving you have it in for poor Eul.
Why don`t you let her
Recover, get better.
Just why are you really are being so cruel?