ledoux
Governor
Outstanding!
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Barb goes BATS
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
M
montycrusto
Guest
I fail to understand how all this Swedish stuff is relevant.. but ok, whatever! 
Relax. New episode coming yet todayI fail to understand how all this Swedish stuff is relevant.. but ok, whatever!
M
montycrusto
Guest
Harsh Martinet
Consul
It stiffens my "resolve" to endure the delay 
M
montycrusto
Guest
Barb knew she would never be freed;
Her role was to suffer and bleed..
At the stake she would burn up,
If help didn’t turn up,
Or if not a turnip, a swede?
Her role was to suffer and bleed..
At the stake she would burn up,
If help didn’t turn up,
Or if not a turnip, a swede?
I'm not sure I can help. All I have is fully charged Zippo lighter!!!
M
montycrusto
Guest
It’s too bad, Barb has been using gasoline instead of perfume for years, hoping to attract a Red-State husband…. She will go up like a firework!
11.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” declared Lord @Wragg, thirteenth Earl of Cruxton, as he swept imperiously into the cellar punishment room. “Have I not made it clear that the punishment room is for my own private use and is strictly off limits to everyone else in this household?”
“Oh dear, this is a problem I fear!” added @twonines, looking past the Earl to take in the scene.
“An intrusion like this, means something is amiss!” agreed @montycrusto.
“Rubbish!” the Countess Wragg shot back indignantly, “Whenever you’re away, dear husband, the good Vicar @Praefectus Praetorio and I have been staging our little entertainments down here. We’ve been doing it forever. If you spent more time at home, rather than out drinking and whoring with those two rhyming morons, you would know that. Now … if you care to join us? …”
“Well … Um … three lovely harlot asses … ripe and ready to be caned … that would be such a pity to miss! Of course, my dear! My companions and I wouldn’t want to miss the … uh … what was it you said … ah, yes … the ‘entertainments’.”
“Indeed, we can hardly decline, an offer so fine!” agreed Montycrusto.
“It would be a pleasure to see, the cane applied to all three!” added Twonines.
“Good. It’s settled then,” declared the Countess, with a triumphant sniff of approval meant to convey that, as usual, she got her way. After all, that was the proper order of things, wasn’t it? “Apostate! We’ll need three more chairs … for the Earl and his cronies.”
“Yes, your Ladyship. Right away.”
“Thank you. Now, Vicar, do proceed. I believe it was @messaline ’s turn before we were so rudely interrupted?”
“Indeed, it was, your Ladyship.”
“Enfin!” cried Messaline, “Why must you English dither so? I have been waiting so patiently, but …”
At which point she got her wish …
“Oh, simply smashing, I do love a good thrashing!” exclaimed Twonines as the French girl’s scream reverberated off the vaulted stone ceiling.
“To thrash a French derrière would be a pleasure anywhere!” enthused Montycrusto.
“Very nice work, Vicar, now please start again, if you please,” directed the Countess.
And so it was @Kathy ’s turn again, and then mine, and then @messaline. And then repeated again and again … the confined space of the punishment room resounding with the crack of the supple cane across bare flesh, and the howls and screams of its victims … without let up until the butler suddenly reappeared after a brief disappearance to announce the arrival of a visitor.
“Please pardon the interruption, your Lordship and Ladyship, but a rather disreputable-looking chap, who improbably calls himself @thehangingtree, claims to have an appointment with his Lordship and the Magistrates.”
“Ah, yes, @Apostate, I was expecting Mr. Tree, as well as the other two Magistrates, @old slave and @Jollyrei. We were to meet here at the manor to pass sentence on Barbara Moore, now that she has confessed to her witchery, and to discuss contract terms with Mr. Tree regarding tomorrow’s witch burning event.”
“Yes, your Lordship, I believe the other Magistrates have arrived now as well.”
“Splendid, bring them all in here.”
“Umm, begging your pardon, your Lordship, but is that wise? What I mean to say is that the punishment room is already rather cramped … and … well, the three young women here are … uh … one might say … rather indecently exposed?”
“Fiddlesticks, Apostate, I can assure you that the Magistrates are all quite well enough acquainted with all those intimate womanly bits.”
“As you say m’Lord,” murmured the butler as he withdrew to fetch the Magistrates waiting upstairs.
“Harrumph,” muttered the Countess, glaring reproachfully at her husband. “Kindly ignore these fools, dear Vicar, and proceed with the entertainments.”
“Yes, your Ladyship,” replied the Vicar dutifully, as he replaced the flask, from which he had been nipping, to its hiding place beneath his vestments, recovered the cane he had set aside, and took deliberate aim at an as yet untouched piece of Kathy’s stroke-reddened rump.
“Wait!” shouted Tree, unexpectedly, causing the Vicar to arrest his stroke in mid-swing.
“What in God’s name for?” sputtered the Vicar.
“I need to inspect the quality of that cane,” replied Tree, tottering forward unsteadily with hand extended. Taking the rod from the Vicar he proceeded to drop it on the floor, and nearly toppled over in the process of straightening up with it. And, after a close examination that seemed to last forever and was punctuated by a series of obscenely loud belches, he finally looked up and pronounced it to be of inferior quality.
“Then, what would you recommend instead?” responded the Vicar in a tone most condescending, his annoyance quite obvious.
“Is all this really necessary? Can’t we please get on with the entertainments!” protested the Countess irritably.
“French Premium rattan, of course,” responded Tree. “Highly recommended.”
“Oui, but of course!” agreed Messaline. “Risen que le meilleur, non?”
TBC
“Well, well, what do we have here?” declared Lord @Wragg, thirteenth Earl of Cruxton, as he swept imperiously into the cellar punishment room. “Have I not made it clear that the punishment room is for my own private use and is strictly off limits to everyone else in this household?”
“Oh dear, this is a problem I fear!” added @twonines, looking past the Earl to take in the scene.
“An intrusion like this, means something is amiss!” agreed @montycrusto.
“Rubbish!” the Countess Wragg shot back indignantly, “Whenever you’re away, dear husband, the good Vicar @Praefectus Praetorio and I have been staging our little entertainments down here. We’ve been doing it forever. If you spent more time at home, rather than out drinking and whoring with those two rhyming morons, you would know that. Now … if you care to join us? …”
“Well … Um … three lovely harlot asses … ripe and ready to be caned … that would be such a pity to miss! Of course, my dear! My companions and I wouldn’t want to miss the … uh … what was it you said … ah, yes … the ‘entertainments’.”
“Indeed, we can hardly decline, an offer so fine!” agreed Montycrusto.
“It would be a pleasure to see, the cane applied to all three!” added Twonines.
“Good. It’s settled then,” declared the Countess, with a triumphant sniff of approval meant to convey that, as usual, she got her way. After all, that was the proper order of things, wasn’t it? “Apostate! We’ll need three more chairs … for the Earl and his cronies.”
“Yes, your Ladyship. Right away.”
“Thank you. Now, Vicar, do proceed. I believe it was @messaline ’s turn before we were so rudely interrupted?”
“Indeed, it was, your Ladyship.”
“Enfin!” cried Messaline, “Why must you English dither so? I have been waiting so patiently, but …”
At which point she got her wish …
“Oh, simply smashing, I do love a good thrashing!” exclaimed Twonines as the French girl’s scream reverberated off the vaulted stone ceiling.
“To thrash a French derrière would be a pleasure anywhere!” enthused Montycrusto.
“Very nice work, Vicar, now please start again, if you please,” directed the Countess.
And so it was @Kathy ’s turn again, and then mine, and then @messaline. And then repeated again and again … the confined space of the punishment room resounding with the crack of the supple cane across bare flesh, and the howls and screams of its victims … without let up until the butler suddenly reappeared after a brief disappearance to announce the arrival of a visitor.
“Please pardon the interruption, your Lordship and Ladyship, but a rather disreputable-looking chap, who improbably calls himself @thehangingtree, claims to have an appointment with his Lordship and the Magistrates.”
“Ah, yes, @Apostate, I was expecting Mr. Tree, as well as the other two Magistrates, @old slave and @Jollyrei. We were to meet here at the manor to pass sentence on Barbara Moore, now that she has confessed to her witchery, and to discuss contract terms with Mr. Tree regarding tomorrow’s witch burning event.”
“Yes, your Lordship, I believe the other Magistrates have arrived now as well.”
“Splendid, bring them all in here.”
“Umm, begging your pardon, your Lordship, but is that wise? What I mean to say is that the punishment room is already rather cramped … and … well, the three young women here are … uh … one might say … rather indecently exposed?”
“Fiddlesticks, Apostate, I can assure you that the Magistrates are all quite well enough acquainted with all those intimate womanly bits.”
“As you say m’Lord,” murmured the butler as he withdrew to fetch the Magistrates waiting upstairs.
“Harrumph,” muttered the Countess, glaring reproachfully at her husband. “Kindly ignore these fools, dear Vicar, and proceed with the entertainments.”
“Yes, your Ladyship,” replied the Vicar dutifully, as he replaced the flask, from which he had been nipping, to its hiding place beneath his vestments, recovered the cane he had set aside, and took deliberate aim at an as yet untouched piece of Kathy’s stroke-reddened rump.
“Wait!” shouted Tree, unexpectedly, causing the Vicar to arrest his stroke in mid-swing.
“What in God’s name for?” sputtered the Vicar.
“I need to inspect the quality of that cane,” replied Tree, tottering forward unsteadily with hand extended. Taking the rod from the Vicar he proceeded to drop it on the floor, and nearly toppled over in the process of straightening up with it. And, after a close examination that seemed to last forever and was punctuated by a series of obscenely loud belches, he finally looked up and pronounced it to be of inferior quality.
“Then, what would you recommend instead?” responded the Vicar in a tone most condescending, his annoyance quite obvious.
“Is all this really necessary? Can’t we please get on with the entertainments!” protested the Countess irritably.
“French Premium rattan, of course,” responded Tree. “Highly recommended.”
“Oui, but of course!” agreed Messaline. “Risen que le meilleur, non?”
TBC
Last edited:
Fossy
SEXPIOGENTUS
Excellent! PrPr's Vicar deserves a series of his own along with the rhyming 'minstrels'- great stuff!
M
montycrusto
Guest
NewUser
Magistrate
It's good that the topic with Sweden is already over. And the chairs were not purchased in the most famous Swedish store.
Otherwise, this episode would look like this:
Far be it I complain, but a cane made from Arkansas pine would do. I seriously doubt the quality of premium French rattan. Was the switch at least fashioned in America???
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
At least one of the commentators has good sense!
As I predicted, the Vicar, despite his nearly fourscore years, has plenty of righteous strength in his good left arm to make the bitches howl!
A man of utmost duty, always well prepared with necessary sustenance.
Hail, hail, the gang's all here
What the heck do we care
What the heck do we care
Hail, hail, the gang's all here
What the heck do we care now - D. A. Esrom
Come, friends, who plough the sea
Truce to navigation
Take another station
Let's vary piracy
With a little burglary - W. S. Gilbert
Hail Hail, the Celts are here,
What the hell do we care,
What the hell do we care,
Hail Hail, the Celts are here,
What the hell do we care now - Glasgow version
cruxlover
Tribune
Wrong choice, now if you were to offer them crucifixion you might get plenty of takers.
Jackie1111
Tribune
We were wondering the same. We came here to watch some lovely ladies burn, not have our language mocked!
Attachments
Jackie1111
Tribune
Messa's desire for the sting of the cane
Nearly drove the poor girl insane
Her ass finally suffered it seems
Stone walls echoed her loud screams
That conveyed both her pleasure and her pain
Nearly drove the poor girl insane
Her ass finally suffered it seems
Stone walls echoed her loud screams
That conveyed both her pleasure and her pain
cruxlover
Tribune
Like King James I (VI) with reference to Guy Fawkes - "Begin with the gentler tortures and so by degrees........"We'll torture you, but politely!