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Veronika: Love, Pain and Pleasure

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You know my position : I'm not and never I'll be a permanent slave ; when, with Judith, we have bdsm'relations, I'm only a victim till that our game is finished ...
This side "slave" in fact, impede you for having to tell anything about your relations : she orders, you obey !
But it appears that Sylvia doesn't wish to always be your Dom, including the real life ...
So, in my opinion, try to have a real life full of love (it seems that it's already the fact) and let her ( following your wishes perhaps) to play the Dom during your bdsm'games ...
You'll see that it will be the satisfaction of you both and nobody of you will be frustrated or will have afraid to dive into an unknow domain ...
For the moment, it seems that it's the only way that you have to follow ...
But ....... it's only my opinion ... ;)
 
bindhertocross said:
Yes, this can be difficult setting up parameters of a d/s relationship. Here's how I usually started...quite early in the first few days of chatting on the internet on a BDSM dating site, I would give them a list of acceptable activities they would be willing to submit to, including the use of specific sex toys and the level to which they would be used (light, medium, heavy).

This would be my list of activities I would like to have part of the relationship. I would send it to her, in various sections, there were probably 75-100 items, or more. She would check a box, yes, no, or maybe. this would be her list of acceptable activities, and would then be the activities we would both enjoy together. I could then plan our BDSM sessions from this list. In your case it is more of a leaning toward a 24/7 lifestyle, so you could add everyday items to that list as well with perhaps a punishment/reward system to go along with it.

I don't know if both of you making a list of activities you enjoy, and then matching up those in common would help, but I had some success with it. Everything was upfront, consensual, (and she usually got aroused by reading the list and checking off items she wanted done to her, that was fun!)
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Thank you so much for the advice, but I am afraid that it does not apply to us as we are both novices in BDSM, so we still need to learn I began to think that I wanted too much too quickly, and I have to think of it as just a fantasy up to now and see how it will evolve in the future.

Our mutual love is too important to take any risk to destroy it.
 
TheLimey said:
Ask Sylvia what she does enjoy in the BDSM side of your relationship. Does she enjoy it when she whips you? Did she enjoy the way she put you on display at the cafe? What is she getting out of this, honestly?

@bindhertocross has a good idea with making lists of things and comparing

All relationships built on love need some give and take. By finding out what is in common, what is interesting and what isn't of interest, you can develop how this relationship evolves. Perhaps you won't get to be her permanent slave, but perhaps there is a middle ground that works for both of you.
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WHIPPING

Sylvia surely likes to whip me, as much as myself being whipped, even if it is still something quite new for both of us.

She now whips me also each time she crucifies me.

She also wants to learn how to use a bullwhip, and as soon as the sex shop seller finds someone who will accept to teach her, I know that I will have to accept to be whipped by a stranger, man or woman, I don't know yet.

I have nothing to object to it, as my friend Messaline told me that the bullwhip is one of the whips she prefers, and I trust her on that.

NAKED IN PUBLIC

Forcing me to be naked or half-naked in public is, without any doubt, a turn-on for her. And we always have great sex after such forced exhibitions.

I am used to being nude at the beach, and being naked in front of others on a beach is not a big deal for me as it is done in a "natural", "non-sexual" way.

But when she forces me to be nude in public in places like the park or the street, it is then something completely different. You are not naked because you like to be naked to tan; you are "on display".

I also felt "on display" yesterday in the fitting room in one of the shops when the seller stayed two meters from me, looking at my naked body while I was trying on the clothes with the curtain open. I felt like an object.

When in the sex shop, while naked in front of the seller and the clients, when Sylvia asked me to try on the assplug and the cage-free bra, I felt like a whore.

And Sylvia was visibly happy and aroused by it; I could see her lightly sweating, and her eyes were only showing desire.

To resume on that part, it makes her horny, and I must admit that seeing her in that state arouses me, too, even if it is quite humiliating.
 
messaline said:
You know my position : I'm not and never I'll be a permanent slave ; when, with Judith, we have bdsm'relations, I'm only a victim till that our game is finished ...
This side "slave" in fact, impede you for having to tell anything about your relations : she orders, you obey !
But it appears that Sylvia doesn't wish to always be your Dom, including the real life ...
So, in my opinion, try to have a real life full of love (it seems that it's already the fact) and let her ( following your wishes perhaps) to play the Dom during your bdsm'games ...
You'll see that it will be the satisfaction of you both and nobody of you will be frustrated or will have afraid to dive into an unknow domain ...
For the moment, it seems that it's the only way that you have to follow ...
But ....... it's only my opinion ... ;)
Click to expand...
I understand what you mean; even in my head, it was not a "permanent slave" thing, nor was it in Sylvia's head. It is more to be her slave "out of home" than at home.

Even if I have to remain nude at home at all times, I have already done it weeks before my wish to be a slave, and it is the only thing she asks me at home; she likes to see me naked, and I like her looking at me too.

As I told you, I have no collar, no chains, no food to eat on the floor, and no sleeping on the floor.

This is not who I am; she doesn't want it either.

And I don't intend to be her servant, either.

At home, we are equals, apart from my nudity, and I don't want that to change.

My wish to be her slave, as you describe it: "she orders, I obey", would only be outside home, and of course, only in places where we can do it without risks and certainly not at university or when I do my part-time waitress work.

Outside home, before my wish to be her slave, I had already don't wear a bra or panties since weeks; that is part of our relationship.

So, perhaps I am not very far from your own relationship with Judith: I want to be a victim when outside home (and not to be put at risks) till her game is finished.

The only difference with you is that the natures of our games are not the same ones as, for instance, humiliation or forced nudity in public.

Perhaps on this more restrictive basis of places to "play", it will be easier to set rules with Sylvia.

Your comments have helped me a lot to be better able to express exactly what I am looking for and not the confusing "being a slave" wish I had expressed her.

Thank you for helping me better "see" what I really want by telling me how things are between you and Judith: a healthy relationship.

Is it more acceptable for you like that?
 
messaline said:
try to have a real life full of love (it seems that it's already the fact) and let her to play the Dom during your bdsm'games ...
Click to expand...
Dear Messaline,

Your wise advice worked perfectly! :)

Sylvia is happy and relieved, thanks to your advice.

We both agreed that at home, there would be no slaves, just the two of us in full love.

Among our new rules, the attic is considered not part of the home (even if technically it is) as it is in the attic that she crucifies me.

I will be her slave outside the home except when at university or work.

Everywhere else, she will be my Dom and decide what will be the BDSM game as long as there are no risks (essentially police and rape risks).

And I will have the right to refuse each time it will be something new for me.

But for all the BDSM games we already had outside the home, I will have to obey her without arguing.

Of course, these are the "rules" we mutually think are good for us, but they are not written in marble, and if she or I "feel" something wrong, we are able to change or adapt it.

I am happy; there is much more "oxygen" to breathe at home now!!! ;) :)
 
Crucified Veronika said:
WHIPPING

Sylvia surely likes to whip me, as much as myself being whipped, even if it is still something quite new for both of us.

She now whips me also each time she crucifies me.

She also wants to learn how to use a bullwhip, and as soon as the sex shop seller finds someone who will accept to teach her, I know that I will have to accept to be whipped by a stranger, man or woman, I don't know yet.

I have nothing to object to it, as my friend Messaline told me that the bullwhip is one of the whips she prefers, and I trust her on that.

NAKED IN PUBLIC

Forcing me to be naked or half-naked in public is, without any doubt, a turn-on for her. And we always have great sex after such forced exhibitions.

I am used to being nude at the beach, and being naked in front of others on a beach is not a big deal for me as it is done in a "natural", "non-sexual" way.

But when she forces me to be nude in public in places like the park or the street, it is then something completely different. You are not naked because you like to be naked to tan; you are "on display".

I also felt "on display" yesterday in the fitting room in one of the shops when the seller stayed two meters from me, looking at my naked body while I was trying on the clothes with the curtain open. I felt like an object.

When in the sex shop, while naked in front of the seller and the clients, when Sylvia asked me to try on the assplug and the cage-free bra, I felt like a whore.

And Sylvia was visibly happy and aroused by it; I could see her lightly sweating, and her eyes were only showing desire.

To resume on that part, it makes her horny, and I must admit that seeing her in that state arouses me, too, even if it is quite humiliating.
Click to expand...
There's a start, you've found some common ground, you can both learn and add the BDSM activities as time goes on. It will be an ever developing relationship kink-wise and it can be whatever the two of you decide it to be.
 
Crucified Veronika said:
Dear Messaline,

Your wise advice worked perfectly! :)

Sylvia is happy and relieved, thanks to your advice.

We both agreed that at home, there would be no slaves, just the two of us in full love.

Among our new rules, the attic is considered not part of the home (even if technically it is) as it is in the attic that she crucifies me.

I will be her slave outside the home except when at university or work.

Everywhere else, she will be my Dom and decide what will be the BDSM game as long as there are no risks (essentially police and rape risks).

And I will have the right to refuse each time it will be something new for me.

But for all the BDSM games we already had outside the home, I will have to obey her without arguing.

Of course, these are the "rules" we mutually think are good for us, but they are not written in marble, and if she or I "feel" something wrong, we are able to change or adapt it.

I am happy; there is much more "oxygen" to breathe at home now!!! ;) :)
Click to expand...
I think that it's less risky to go naked at a adult cinema or adult theatre compared at a public street. At the cinema you can serve as a slave alot of men or women....
Crucified Veronika said:
I understand what you mean; even in my head, it was not a "permanent slave" thing, nor was it in Sylvia's head. It is more to be her slave "out of home" than at home.

Even if I have to remain nude at home at all times, I have already done it weeks before my wish to be a slave, and it is the only thing she asks me at home; she likes to see me naked, and I like her looking at me too.

As I told you, I have no collar, no chains, no food to eat on the floor, and no sleeping on the floor.

This is not who I am; she doesn't want it either.

And I don't intend to be her servant, either.

At home, we are equals, apart from my nudity, and I don't want that to change.

My wish to be her slave, as you describe it: "she orders, I obey", would only be outside home, and of course, only in places where we can do it without risks and certainly not at university or when I do my part-time waitress work.

Outside home, before my wish to be her slave, I had already don't wear a bra or panties since weeks; that is part of our relationship.

So, perhaps I am not very far from your own relationship with Judith: I want to be a victim when outside home (and not to be put at risks) till her game is finished.

The only difference with you is that the natures of our games are not the same ones as, for instance, humiliation or forced nudity in public.

Perhaps on this more restrictive basis of places to "play", it will be easier to set rules with Sylvia.

Your comments have helped me a lot to be better able to express exactly what I am looking for and not the confusing "being a slave" wish I had expressed her.

Thank you for helping me better "see" what I really want by telling me how things are between you and Judith: a healthy relationship.

Is it more acceptable for you like that?
Click to expand...
 
Crucified Veronika said:
As some of you know, I began my life as a submissive by self-crucifying, a failed self-crucifixion, or too successful since I almost died of asphyxiation on my cross, but which fortunately ended well when my next-door neighbour, Sylvia, heard my screams and untied me.

She saved my life, and from that day on, we became lovers, and our love has only grown since.

Discovering this forum was one of the best things ever happening to me.

I've discovered a world, indeed populated by sadists but also by beautiful people, some of whom have become friends, a world I'd never imagined.

The word BDSM has always frightened me; for me, it meant people who were a bit disturbed.

Today, having discovered the submissive in me, this world of pain and pleasure has become my place of life and love.

On the advice of one of my dearest friends here, I've created this thread, not for myself but for all the novices who are hesitant and who don't know what or who to believe.

I certainly won't be able to give them all the answers they'd like, as I'm a novice myself, but by sharing with you and them my experiences as I've developed as a submissive, I hope to help them understand from the inside what it means.

I'll be posting my BDSM experiences with Sylvia here from time to time.

Some people will probably find them childish and uninteresting, but that's OK because writing about how I feel in pain and pleasure helps me understand myself better, opens my mind and shows me my way.

I'd also like to thank in advance all those of you who 'know' and have been experiencing BDSM and crucifixion for a long time for not hesitating to criticise me and also, please, to give me your advice and ideas.

Thank you,
Veronika

View attachment 1489050
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Sweetie, please try to be more careful!
 
Crucified Veronika said:
My name is Veronika; I am just here.
There are no videos of me, only some pictures with my face blurred.
I am a novice in BDSM, and I just want to learn more about it to be part of my life.
Writing about what I feel and exchanging it here helps me, as Sylvia, who is also a novice in BDSM, to better live our love through submission and domination.
This is me:
View attachment 1501742View attachment 1501741View attachment 1501744View attachment 1501743
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Lovely body veronika
 
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