I don't get it.A woman in Florida had just been convicted, in the middle of a particularly muggy July, of kiting checks. She was about to be sentenced.
"The good news," began the judge, "is that you will be bound to a cross for forty-eight hours in lieu of imprisonment, in order to relieve overcrowding."
"GOOD NEWS!?!?!?!?!?!" exclaims the bewildered woman "What's the BAD news?"
"The bad news is that our crucifixion facilities are also overcrowded, so you will be crucified out in the Bayous, where the weather channel says it will be hot and humid during the forty-eight hours of your crucifixion."
Just asking? Bayous? In Florida? I thought these were in the Mississippi. But I could be wrong? I guess if you crucifiy the lady in the Everglades it will be all the same. Hot and humid. Plenty of insects. And sometimes an alligator licking at her feet? Or are alligators only in the Mississippi too?"The bad news is that our crucifixion facilities are also overcrowded, so you will be crucified out in the Bayous, where the weather channel says it will be hot and humid during the forty-eight hours of your crucifixion."
"Bayou" refers to a coastal marsh area. The term originated in Louisiana & most often refers to parts of the Gulf Coast from about Houston to Mobile. However, there are some bayous in South Florida. One of them, Spring Bayou, is in Tarpon Springs, not far from me. But, its a bit too developed for crucifixions.Just asking? Bayous? In Florida? I thought these were in the Mississippi. But I could be wrong? I guess if you crucifiy the lady in the Everglades it will be all the same. Hot and humid. Plenty of insects. And sometimes an alligator licking at her feet? Or are alligators only in the Mississippi too?
Thanks for the explanation (the word 'bayou' sounded familiar to me from a few songs by Creendence Clearwater Revival, who rather sing the Mississippi than Florida, so...)."Bayou" refers to a coastal marsh area. The term originated in Louisiana & most often refers to parts of the Gulf Coast from about Houston to Mobile. However, there are some bayous in South Florida. One of them, Spring Bayou, is in Tarpon Springs, not far from me. But, its a bit too developed for crucifixions.
I suspect that KvK was using the term as an alternative to "swamps", which are forested wetlands & which we have quite a lot of in Florida.
Another thing we have quite a lot of is alligators. Lots & lots of them. Even on our golf courses.
That's not too far from me either.
And, a gator wouldn't lick her feet. He'd chomp on them.!
We also lots of insects. Lots & lots & lots & lots of them!
I think she would be eaten up by the mosquitoes long before an alligator came along.
Before river channelization there were bayous in Illinois, southern Missouri, and Northeast Arkansas...Thanks for the explanation (the word 'bayou' sounded familiar to me from a few songs by Creendence Clearwater Revival, who rather sing the Mississippi than Florida, so...).
And no doubt either on the bayou or in the swamps, the crosses should be high enough to prevent the alligaors heaving an easy dinner.
A woman had been convicted of forgery. She was before the judge for sentencing.
The judge said "The good news is that I am sentencing you for crucifixion."
"GOOD NEWS?!?!?!?!?!?!?! If that's the GOOD NEWS, what is the BAD NEWS???????????"
"The bad news is that our crucifixion facilities are currently as overcrowded as our prisons, so I am sending you to a facility that doubles as a golf course."
Either Kvk takes the title of the thread too literally or his mind works in weird and wonderful ways.I don't get it????
Two things.I don't get it????
Either Kvk takes the title of the thread too literally or his mind works in weird and wonderful ways.
Half an hour after replying it suddenly occurred to me why you used a golf course!The latter.
indeed a real blondBlonde wife finds out her husband's having an affair.
She gets herself a handgun and bursts in on the cheat having it away with his floosie.
She puts the gun to her own head.
'Don't! Please don't shoot yourself!' the erring husband cries.
Blonde wife replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
just like themAnd, a gator wouldn't lick her feet. He'd chomp on them.!
In Florida, the golf courses have alligators.Two things.
1) Golf courses have lets of people playing golf and other people watching people playing golf, so there will be lots of spectators to her humiliation
2) Golf courses have lots of golf balls flying at high velocity. The golf player's ability to control the ball's trajectory ends the second the club and the ball part ways, so every time she hears "FORE!", she will cringe at the very real possibility of receiving the impact of an already hard-cased golf ball traveling at high velocity, accelerated by gravity as it comes down, somewhere on her thoroughly exposed flesh
Certainly a wrenching photograph!